Right now my ex-wife is living with me in a small rental apartment. She didn't have a job so I allowed her to stay here while she continued her education. She has a boyfriend and sometimes she stays the weekend with him but most of the time she sleeps in her bed beside my bed in my apartment. Now she's got a great accounting job that makes twice the money that I'm making and she's now buying her own food and paying for her own expenses but she still lives here with me. I'm moving into a nice 3-bedroom rental house and she wants to move in with me and she insists that she pays half the rent on this house. I asked what about her boyfriend? What does he think about her still living with me? She says "him, who cares!"
So its not money that she's after, its not financial support that she wants. We're not having sex so its not that either. So why does she keep wanting to stay close to me?
She told me when I get a new girl then she'll leave, until then she's my roommate. What gives?
2007-11-29 15:00:10 · 17 answers · asked by honesty_counts 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so why isnt she satying with her boyfriend?
kick her out, an ex wife that lives with you isnt going to help you get a new girl!
good luck !
2007-11-29 15:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There could be so many reason why she wants to stay.
It's evident that she must like you a lot.
She may not like living alone - and you may be a great room-mate. She is also saving money by sharing rent, etc.
She may secretly wish that she was back with you .. but wanting you make the first move.
It sounds like her boyfriend is insignificant .. but you are important to her. It also sounds like she will honor you if you get a girl friend .. but I bet she will do it sadly.
No one knows for sure WHY she is staying so close to you ... however it IS evident that SHE WANTS TO stay with you. Sometimes ... a person should not listen to what a person says .. but judge them by their actions - because their actions express exactly what they want.
I don't know if you are interested in your ex-wife any more in a relationship way .. but IF you ARE interested in a relationship with her -- then maybe you should make the first move to see what happens.
I don't know your circumstances .. nor why things are platonic between you ... but she may be wishing that she could always be with you .. and that is why she always wants to be near to you.
2007-11-29 23:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice that you can stay friends but you should end this relationship. She thinks of you like a brother now and you think of her as a sister. It's no good for either of you starting new relationships with other people. What does her boyfriend think that she is living with her ex husband? How weird!
2007-11-29 23:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by Julie H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK what woman would want to come home and have you say this?" OH thats just my room mate which is my ex wife"
Also I think she is there maybe to keep anyone from getting close to you.Have you brought anyone home yet and if so how did dhe react?? I say no way she can stand on her own now so make her do it. It will be best for both of you.
2007-11-29 23:23:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really odd.
Since you feel uncomfortable about it, I think you should prohibit her from moving in with you. It really complicates things. And although, you and she aren't having sex, it is really going to deter you from finding a good woman. Most women won't accept this arrangement and will automatically assume that you still have a relationship with your ex-wife.
Move on from her. Now is the time to really be a bachelor.
2007-11-29 23:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an old pair of jeans, the old shoe, a safety net, her subbie, her flank, her reserve seat, her dependable, her comfort man. She will keep you on the end of a line for as long as you let her. This is preventing you from moving on, and it's selfishly intentional on her part. She and her ego are basking in the sunlight of your loyalty and tolerance.
Cut the strings, darling. Cut the strings. Eventually, when it suits her, she will do this herself...... and your emotions will be put through the toaster again.
2007-11-29 23:20:46 · answer #6 · answered by Monica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that she is confused she is so used to having you around that when you both got divorced she forgot what she had... She doesn't want you back but she doesn't want you to leave either. I think if you found another girl she would be devastated... She loves you more then you'll ever know and that is why she still wants to live with you
2007-11-29 23:06:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definately sees you as a father figure, you give her security and stability, SHE SHOULD BE GONE, kick her out, she can obviously manage herself, maybe youre addicted to this kind of behavior or youre just afraid to be alone, get a girlfirend and lose the X!!!
2007-11-29 23:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by suehellen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotional attachment. Perhaps she likes the way you treat her and she likes the way she feels when she's around you and maybe she can't find anyone who treats her as good as you do. It's obvious that you are a very patient and understanding guy. Those are wonderful traits.
2007-11-29 23:25:47 · answer #9 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she can and she knows you will allow it....like always.
P.S. She will be there forever....cuz no other woman is going to date a guy living with his ex who sleeps in a bed next to his!
2007-11-29 23:12:28 · answer #10 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without knowing either of you, but reading your question, it sounds like you guys had a very amicable split. It seems to me that you're familiar and comfortable, and she's possibly afraid to deal with life totally on her own again.
2007-11-29 23:03:48 · answer #11 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋