How do I keep myself from getting too attached to a married man ????

Question

The thing is I work with him and he gives me attention back and I can tell that he likes me too but I really don't want this to escalade any further.
I feel very guilty, but with each passing day I find myself more and more attracted to him.

aside from finding a new job, what else can I do ??

Answer 1

First of all you should keep your dignity and not
accept second best, as you know he already has
someone, you could ignore him, find one for you
that is single, and a real woman has her own and
not somebody else's.

Answer 2

You don't need to find a new job---just be honest with yourself. If you're single, this means recognizing the fact that if single men were paying attention to you, that you wouldn't need the attention from a married man. So, to fix this, you need to place an ad or something to try and get appropriate male attention. If you're married, you need to recognize the fact that your husband isn't giving you the attention you need. You don't fix this by getting attention from another man, but by communicating with your spouse. There's no sense in you making an *** out of yourself just because you need some attention from someone.

Answer 3

There has to be single guys at the office. If you want to find a boyfriend at the office, then that's the way to go -- the single guys.

If you have any respect for yourself, you will see it for what it is, harmless goodnatured conversation, and flirting is harmless. If you can't handle it, find a new job and fast.

Find an emotionally available man that is not with a female. It's very easy. If, however, you like the challenge and heartbreak and drama that comes with messing with a married man, good luck.

Come on, this is a no-brainer.

Answer 4

When you are with him .. don't give him any signals that you like him. Send the message to him that everything is "business only".

Eventually - he will get the message that you aren't interested in him ... and he will quit sending you vibes. When these acions are stopped .. it will be the beginning process of making it stop. Only you will have the knowledge that you really are still interested - but if he thinks otherwise - and you control your actions .. he should backoff .. which will help your situation.

Control your thought process of him. Don't allow yourself to think, or dwell, on him. Not thinking of him .. will help getting past this. All trouble .. is started first in the mind. Control your thought process.

You don't HAVE to do anything with him ... and it may take awhile to get over the feelings you have for him .. but it can be done .. you just have to be determined and hang in there with it.

You may like him from afar .. but he never has to know .. and you never have to act on it.

Answer 5

Take it from an ex-wife of a man who left me for someone else. This is a dead end relationship. He is not for you or he wouldn't be married to someone else. You need to put a stop to it right now or you'll cause yet another divorce and if he has kids they will be absolutely devisted. You have no idea how much this destroys peoples lives. You need to be firm and put your foot down. Be rude if you have to but don't carry it on another moment.

Answer 6

Keep your job. Crushes on people you work with is pretty normal. This is because you see them day in and day out. They're usually on their best behavior (especially if he's your boss) and so you see him in a perfect light. Maybe you're just attracted to intelligent men (what woman isn't???) and you're getting the best of that intelligence by talking to him.

Since he's married, it's important to realize that even though he might have a little crush on you too, it can't really go anywhere. Sure, he might complain about his wife--I don't know many men who won't complain about their wives!--but that doesn't mean that he'd automatically choose you over her in a heartbeat...especially if they have kids together.

You don't want to get hurt here, of course. Keep him in your fantasy world, but don't think about him becoming a part of your real world. Attraction can't be denied sometimes, but I'd abstain from flirting with him or letting him know how special you think he is. He might just take advantage of that, even if he does so without knowing it.

Answer 7

What the heck you are just dirty his married back off what if you where his wife you shouldn't be anywhere around him OMG you are such a witch to even let yourself get this far involved with him .....HOW could you even have feelings with a married man ...We woman should stick together thats just wrong....

Answer 8

I think that if you let these things escalate your doing the wrong thing if you dont repay him for his efforts. I mean gave someone attention and they treated you bad how would you feel. For his wife what she doesnt know wont hurt her. She probably give head at the bar that she goes to. So do this man a favor. Take advantage of this!!!

Answer 9

Keep telling yourself he is married, he is NOT available to be attracted to, do not allow yourself to be alone with him at all. If need be, explain the situation to your supervisor, and ask to be assigned to a different department.

Answer 10

It depends, If you just want to be a side dish then keep doing what your doing. If you wanna be the main dish then tell him to divorce his wife and marry you. If he is willing to do that before you get involved you got a chance, but otherwise you be one of those silly women who says "he told me he was going to leave his wife" for the next 10 years.