Ideas for a depressed man. Could you help me?

Question

I don't like my life.
I have a few friends and they don't respect me.
My girlfriend likes me, but I think she finds me boring. I belive that she would prefer a more decisive and optimistic guy. I don't blame her.
I am a weak man.
When people tease me, I don't stand up for me. I really don't like to be humiliated, but I always think twice before stand up.
I have low self steem.
I'm 26 and the only thing I can do is to draw, and not very good.
I don't have a job.

I don't have nothing to loose.
Could someone give me good ideas to change my life?
Do you know Any crazy job? Anything?

Answer 1

Depression sucks. Plain and simple. You must remember not to let it define you though. YOU ARE NOT YOUR DEPRESSION; you suffer from an illness and thats it. For a lot of people making this distinction is the first step to building up the emotional and psychological resources to deal with depression.

Also remember that your negative personal image is mainly caused by the depression. I've been with my gf for 5 years now....through the black pits of attempted suicide....the whole nine yards. I regularly come out with all kinds of rubbish (I'm useless, I'm a burden to my gf...) but after a lot of work I can recognise it and ignore it. This is mainly from learning some cognitive behavioural therapy techniques.

Basic first steps: eat well, sleep 7-8 hours a day at a regular time and try (I never have managed this one for long periods but by god its good) to have a 20 minute walk every day. Do these three things for a week and you will feel somewhat better. Do them for a month and frankly you might not need to see a doctor. Keep doing it after the month is up tho.

As for a job - start small and win. work a day or two a week in a charity shop. Draw up a daily routine and try not to just stay in bed/ watch TV/ do passive things all day. If you can draw, how about going and doing portraits in on the street/ in your local shopping mall? You wont earn much at first but it will give you practice and keep you busy.

Make a clear headed estimate of what you know you can achieve and aim for it, when you are keeping that up (whatever you are doing to fill your days) aim a little higher. Get a part time paid job.

The cheesiest one for last: think happy thoughts. This is not a joke. Get in the habit of spending 10 minutes a day conjuring up thoughts and images that please you. Happy memories. The smell of your favourite flower. The feeling of sand in your toes and the sun on your back. Anything. Depression can be beat - put crudely its a lack of happy chemicals in your brain. Thinking happy thoughts gets them flowing.

Courage good sir. Depression is not you. It is not your master. You CAN AND WILL BEAT IT. I know how it may feel reading this: "Oh fk off that wont work for me. I'm just too far gone." Rubbish - thats the depression talking. Sadly you do have to work against it....it wont fix itself like most physical illnesses.

Best of luck. PM me any time and I'll gladly give you my contact details if you need to chat more.

Answer 2

Step 1 REMEMBER 1st and Foremost you are not alone in this area and that you have noticed your problem and need to TACKLE IT NOW
Step 2 go to your gp asap, ask for a special appt as you require at least 30 minutes of his time, tell him exactly how you feel 100% no lies or suppresing your feelings tell him 100% everything.
This is a classic sign of chronic depression and it is an illness.
Step 3 Get the speicalised help 1st through a pschyiatrist, with a follow up with psychotherapists, this will be arranged by your gp urgently this may take time though because of waiting lists.
Step 4 Don't turn to the bottle or non presribed drugs this will not give you the answer

Step 5 does it matter whether ot not you can draw, is a change in doing a crazy jon going to change how you feel right now I think not, get the issues in hand sorted asap
then , when you are back on course and running and feeling better.

Drop the so called friends and girlfriend and move on
as for the job side of things and crazyiness

simple do what I did 33 years ago JOIN THE ROYAL NAVY you will never look back, see the world travel,plenty of real and true mates including girls and they will be mates for life
I tell you all the bull about, discipine in the forces it's only their during your basic training onve you done that and you opt for your specialised training
the world will sail along for you
I know I was you
good luck

Answer 3

I feel a lot like you sometimes man...
Its easy to believe people don't respect you when your feeling down but 9 times out of 10 its all in your head.
Your girlfriend doesn't find you boring or she wouldn't still be around and I bet you're more optimistic than you think... You wouldn't be here if you didn't think you could find help!
As for standing up for yourself, there are more ways than one. You don't have to talk back to prove your worth. Simply saying nothing and believing in YOURSELF can often be the best bet. As long as YOU know that what they're saying is nonsense, thats whats important!
You can be sure that everyone has low self esteem in one way or another so you're not alone!
Drawing is such a rare skill... I draw so i know that every artist feels that they're not much good! I also know it can be hard to get inspired at times. Do what others have mentioned already, take a walk, get back to nature. Its amazing what nature can do! Humans weren't designed to sit inside. Go climb a tree!

Chin up bro! It'll pass!

Answer 4

everyone feels down at some point in their life..

go on a short holiday to another country.

while you are away you will have a great time but not only that
you will also realize all the good things you have in your life that you have forgotten about and that your better off in many ways.

with the girlfriend, make the most of your relationship dude. Imagine how life would be without her? then you'd be deeper in the pits.

If you cant afford a holiday then take her out on some weekend activities like rock climbing, kayaking or hire some bikes at the national park or even just go see a movie at the cinemas. you know you havent done that for a while=]

just do it! and stop thinking about when or how your going to do it.

remember your not alone, there are plenty of people out there going through the same thing. some people just know how to manage it better than others.

your gf believes in you and so should you.

Answer 5

Why don't you start off by believing in yourself and having more respect and value of yourself. I'm tellin ya, nobody's going to hire you if you don't have any self worth or appreciate yourself, they will find someone else. Honey, I believe you are a great person inside and if your friends or girlfriend doesn't see that, then that's their loss on a great person. I bet you have all the talent in this world, but your wasting it, because you believe you have no talent. Do not ever say you have nothing to loose or that you are worth nothing in this world. God put you on this earth for a reason, you could have been a weak autumn leaf, blown away and crushed to pieces by the cold wind of winter. But instead you are a human being with plenty of talent. Don't you know that you have something special that people loose or try to grasp for everyday? It's called life. And you shouldn't waste another second. Just dream a little and follow them. And believe me everything will fall into place. Remember that the sadest thing in life is wasted talent. Don't waste your precious gift. May GOD BLESS YOU HONEY!

Answer 6

The answer for your problems are in your question itself.You have few friends.You mingle with more people and get more friends.You are boring.Learn the art of listening.People want good listners.No body is inferior to another.You attend some personality development course.Read books like HOW TO WIN FRIENDS,The Power of Positive Thinking etc.The moment you make a decision to change,you are have really changed.You say ,you know drawing.develop your skills.Good paintings have good market.You are complaining that you do not have job.Have you tried.There are thousands of opportunities around you as Sales man,self employment,insurance agent etc.Try one line in which you are confident.You only can help you.Good luck.Have confidence.26 is the right age to work and enjoy life.

Answer 7

"You don't like your life" You are the only one who can change your life.
It is scary to get out into the working world but you can do it. Apply for a lot of different jobs.
If your friends don't respect you then they are not real friends. Find new ones, there are people out there that will think you are great.
Why are you a weak man? physically or mentally?
If you are physically weak then join a gym.,
If you are mentally weak then take some college courses.
Nobody likes to be humiliated but are you taking things to seriously?
Remember you are only 26, you are young enough to pull things together and have a great life.

Answer 8

You should talk to your Doctor and therapist and tell them how your feeling.

I have been using This alternative therapy call Emotional Freedom Technique on my anxiety and depression which has helped me a lot. I only have mild anxiety depression now and feel a lot better. It's very good at getting rid of all kinds of negative emotions and dealing with all kinds of issues quickly. It does sound crazy but does work. It might be something that can help you. If you type depression in to the search engine of emofree.com you should find some articles about EFT helping people who suffer from depression. Also try the technique from the third link.

Answer 9

Something has made you afraid.

Something scared you at some point, and you didn't deal with it then, and as a result it still has you intimidated - that's why you don't stand up for yourself.

Try to figure out what that thing was - and then you know what you do?

You let yourself off the hook for it. That's all. Give yourself a pass. Everyone effs up every now and then. Even Indiana Jones. So let yourself off the hook.

And then, starting right now (or in the morning) wake yourself up. Wake your life up. Shock yourself into waking up. Go do stuff you don't normally do - if you don't run, then sprint down the street. If you don't talk to people much, then talk to every stranger. MAKE yourself feel things. MAKE yourself experiences things.

Get out and live a little.

Oh, and eat chocolate ice cream...

Answer 10

I'm sorry if this sounds patronising or something like that, but I feel that you are in a classic frame of mind that could benefit immensely from counselling.
They don't admit you to psyche wards or anything like that, they act as a listening post for your concerns.

Whether you know it now or not, by the sounds of it you are completely depressed, the words 'humiliated' and 'I don't have nothing to lose' are clear indicators of this.

Don't trudge along through this, it is not something that corrects itself. Think of it like this, if you had a broken leg, you'd seek medical attention, is you have depression, you seek medical attention. No difference. They are both recognised ailments.

Let me tell you a secret, I would bet that 99.9% of people suffer from depression at some point in their lives. The trick is to catch it quickly before it negatively affects your life.

You are a man who deserves to have a happy and productive life. Give that to yourself. You really are greater than this, it's the depression that won't allow you see that.

I'm not a religious person, but I wish you every bit of luck and I hope your God (if you have one) hears your cry for help. I wish you the best of help on this one buddy!