I guess i have feelings for someone who does not have feelings for me. We are basically friends with benefits, havent had a discussion, but his actions are doing the talking. He will only contact me on friday or sat around 8...he'll maybe contact me once during the week, but mostly i dont hear from him during the week just weekends. He lives about 30 min away. I always go to see him. I prefer going to see him, but it's like, hmm he isnt putting any effort into things with me. However, he is always the one who contacts me, i just wont put myself out there really to be the first to initiate. Not sure what to do. My gut is i wont hear from him this weekend since we hung out the past 2 weekends. Also, he just had a baby (not with the mother, bad story) so he said he cant have anything serious bc of that. UNderstood, but he could contact me more than once a week.
2007-11-29 14:35:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well there's been 2 weekends in a row now that i've gone to see him. I would rather go to his place because he lives alone and i have 3 roomates. I just feel like he's not doing anything for me...yet there's that part of me that doesnt care, but at the same time i want to be valued and appreciated.
2007-11-29 14:42:57 · update #1
forgot to mention that he did put a complete set of new breaks on my car
2007-11-29 14:47:57 · update #2
mother of the baby cheated on him when she was preggo and is with that other person now, lol. I certainly didnt butt in...he pursued me in the beginning. But i admit i dont want to be serious with someone who has a kid
2007-11-29 15:29:33 · update #3
cindra did you read my message? i dont initiate any contact
2007-11-30 01:30:02 · update #4
Sorry to sound so blunt, but you're living in a fantasy world and it's high time you moved on to someone who wants to be with you emotionally . . . not just physically. I wouldn't even call it a 'friends with benefits' situation. You sound more like his 'on-call girl'. Please stop beating yourself up over this guy. Don't sit around and wait for him to call you. Go out and meet new people! Make some true friends and guy wants to be with you heart, mind, body, and soul.
2007-11-29 14:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by ladydi_1987 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you expect friends with benefits to be? It is simply a way of having sex with someone you know without any kind of commitment. The problem is that usually one person falls for the other and the other only wants the benefits. You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt with this friends with benefits thing. The person who had the baby was more than likely another friend with benefits. Evidently he is doing it with more people than you are aware of. Did you ever think about all of the diseases you can get from this kind of behavior? Already you are getting attached...plain to see by what you wrote...and he IS NOT getting attached at all...just out there playing the game.
I would stop playing that game and go out there and find someone who is ready for commitment as this guy is clearly not. Friends with benefits...what a joke...someone always gets hurt and the other person is as happy as can be....free sex without any commitment.
jeese...
2007-11-29 22:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you acting as though your feelings don't count in this situation. All I hear is he only calls me at 8/9 on friday or sat, I always go and see him, he isn't putting any effort in, why would he? You didn't set any standards! I mean you can't expect him to follow standards that aren't even set. Ok yep you understand that he can't have anything serious, but does he understand that you REFUSE to be just a booty call, lets keep it real that is what friends with benefits is. Set some standards, only take applicants that can meet the standards.
2007-11-29 22:40:53 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said a mouthful---he doesn't feel much for you. If he really liked you alot, he wouldn't be able to stay away from you. He'd be calling you all the time and there'd be no way, he'd be able to wait for the weekend. But, what you are doing- is playing the role of the guy. Look, you are pursuing him, initiating the calls, and even driving over to his house. Are you paying for the meals, too? That should tell you enough.
2007-11-30 00:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has just had a baby with someone else, why are you butting in. Maybe that is why he doesn't want to spend so much time with you, because the mother of his baby will be available to
him again. Find someone else that is not playing two women at once.
2007-11-29 23:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is really a "friend with benefits" you certainly should not be getting this emotionally involved - this is not the definition of fwb. Sounds like you want more than that - suggest you cease this behavior - not working for you - you are worth more than that.
2007-11-29 22:42:06 · answer #6 · answered by Bette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've set yourself up for disaster. If your relationship was always sex with no strings attached, then that's all he sees you as. If you wanted him for more than that, you should have stressed that to him from the start. I guess you can start by telling him how you feel. Be ready for rejection. He may not have the same feelings for you. good luck
2007-11-29 22:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by heidi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man doesn't feel what you feel. He's using you and your letting him. There are sooooo many fish in the sea and you shouldn't be stuck with this one. You'll only be hurting yourself at the end. And nothing hurts more then a broken heart!
2007-11-29 22:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by estachicalatina :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good news! I know exactly what you should do!
Don't answer his calls anymore. Then you need to find a way to discover the fact is you are a beautiful woman who deserves better... much better!
Good luck.
2007-11-29 22:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a booty call to him... he likes you cause you give him sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he likes you alot and would hate to lose you. Finding a girl like you isn't the easiest thing to do.
2007-11-29 22:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by Latin G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋