Where did I go wrong...?

Question

I love my dad very much...But I dont think he loves me.

He recently moved to San Antonio Texas where he is living with his current girlfriend. I dont like her.

I think he is going to marry her...

But...My parents have been divorced since I was 7. It was very difficult. But it is more so now that I am older because I understand it all now.

He left. He didnt want the responsibilty of having children or a wife. So he cheated on my mom and left.

I know that he doesnt love me...what kind of father lives 1,463 miles away from his children and family?

He calls everyday...and tells me he loves me. But I dont believe him.

Because of him, I dont have a regular life. No daddy to cry on. No daddy for my little brother...

Do I need like a theripist or something?

What did I do wrong?

Answer 1

You did nothing wrong. Don't feel that way. And know this .. the feeling that you think you did something wrong - is a common feeling of children of divorced parents - most children from broken homes feel the very same way that you are feeling. You have done nothing.

Unfortunately ... what your Dad is doing is not about you .. it's about him. It's all about him.

Since he is gone - and there is nothing you can do about him not being there with you ... just look around you and see all the things you have to be thankful for. There are probably many other things to be thankful for.

Why do this thankful thing? So you will know that there are positive things in your life, too ..... and not the negative thing of your Dad not being there.

If you can, take your focus off of your Dad. Try to go forward with your life .. and get involved & joyous about your life. I know you are hurt .. and it is a hurt that you may wear forever because he is your Dad .. and you will love your Dad forever ... but try to accept your situation as the reality of it is really is.

You can do this. When you try really, really, hard to make happy times for yourself, your little bro, and your Mom ... the sun will shine brightly for you again soon.

Answer 2

You've done nothing wrong.

hey, I love my dad very much. But i've never ran to him crying or ever leaned on his shoulder when I was feeling down.

People show their love and affection in very different ways. I have no doubt that your father loves you very much. Yes, he lives far away, but I don't think he moved to be far away from you and your brother. You'll understand how tough life can be when you're older and you have a family of your own. Life isn't anything close to perfect. All the stuff you see on tv isn't reality. Your dad might be feeling the exact same thing. He could be thinking right now that his own children don't love him. That's a terrible feeling to have. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing great. This will only make you a stronger person.

Answer 3

You didn't do anything wrong. Why do you automatically assume that it's you? Maybe you do need to talk to someone, but you don't need to do it alone. You can go to family counseling with your Mom if you'd like. She can help shed some light on things. But because your Dad calls everyday, I'd say that he cares about you. He might not have been ready for the responsibility at the time, but at least it seems like he's making an effort now to get to know you. If he lives 1400 miles away and calls you everyday, doesn't that tell you that he's willing to spend money on getting to know you?

Answer 4

You need to quit being so dramatic and feeling sorry for yourself. Your dad doesn't (DOES NOT) have to contact you every day. He doesn't. There is no law out there that says your dad needs to take time out of his day to contact you every day and even say the words "I love you." He's doing it voluntarily. That must mean that he feels SOMETHING for you, very very deeply and his words are true, don't you think? Just because he cheated on your mom and moved away does not mean that he doesn't love you. It just means that he was a jerk back then and he probably regrets it. The fact that you say you have no daddy to cry on is bull. You get chance to talk to him every day, which is more than most kids. So, go get a theraist if you feel you need one, but I think you just need to get real. Why don't you go visit him and make his day.

Answer 5

You didn't do anything wrong. This is just your cross to bare in this world.

Even Christ fell three times while carrying his cross. So do not let the facts of your life get you down when you fall as well. Be strong and love those in your life who love you and show it each and every day.

What you need to realize is you father does love you the best way he knows how. He is a broken, shallow man who is simply doing the best he can with all that life gave him. Forgive him despite his defects and it will be you that is better off.

Good luck. i will pray for you.

Answer 6

You didn't do anything wrong. And I believe your father does care about you if he's contacting you everyday. My father NEVER contacted me after my parents divorced. So I see your dad putting a little effort and that does mean something. If he moved far away is only because he's only thinking about himself and not you. But it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He just doesn't know how to get his priorities straight.

Answer 7

Be thankful that you have a father in your life, even if he lives so far away. Give him a little credit for calling every day. There may be things you'll never know that caused your parents to divorce. It's certainly not your fault. Be strong and most importantly, have confidence in yourself.

Answer 8

You did not do anything wrong, you are just stuck in the middle. Your parents did not work out and your dad must move on with his life, but you will always be apart of it. Don't worry he still loves you a lot.

Answer 9

you do not need a therapist for this, and you did nothing wrong.
Make your own life, do not hang on on somebody else's one!

Answer 10

You didn't do anything wrong. Whatever wrong was done was done by your parents.