Last sentence of Personal statement - it's really giving me trouble?

Question

So, I'm writing my personal statement for Vet. It's due in a few hours, and I still can't get the last sentence to sound anywhere near good.
At the begining I mentioned that I was first dissuaded from vet by the whole "hand up cow bum" thing, and so I want to come back to that at the end.
Including the sentence before the trouble-maker, for context, I have:

"After graduation, I see myself spending time overseas in an animal conservation project before returning to Australia to work in a small animal clinic, also caring for stray animals and injured wildlife. And perhaps the internal exploration of a cow foetus wouldn’t be so bad after all. "

Aaah, I have tried a MILLION different sentences, and none of them work. I just want to finish by saying "I'm not dissuaded by having to put my arm up a cow's behind anymore, it actually sounds kind of interesting" - but I can't get it to work properly - Help!?

Well, we have to do all animals for the first few years, and will all have to do the whole ... cow thing. I like the idea of including it because it makes my essay unique a little bit. But the sentence needs changing because it doesn't flow with the paragraph and sound too colloquial.

Yeah, it would probably be a good idea to cut out the first metnion, BUT I really like it because it is how I explain that I *haven't* wanted to be a vet my whole life - which is what *everyone* says, you know what I mean?
I like the one with the "... helping the occasional needy mother cow".
But now I feel like my final sentence needs to be a bit stronger than begining with "After graduating ..."

Owhhh, now that I'm thinking about it. As much as I love the "subtle mention", it implies that I am contradicting myself and can't decide which animals I want to work with, because I've basiclly just listed the whole kaboodle.

Answer 1

Hi Bianca,
First thing, is it *really* necessary to refer back to the cow fetus thing again? Vet school will have gross parts, no one who is applying can avoid that. Could you re-phrase that last sentence so it's your final sentence? Something like, "After graduation, I see myself spending time overseas in an animal conservation project before returning to Australia to work in a small animal clinic, caring for stray animals and injured wildlife in addition to the occasional needy mother cow." This way you're stating your final goals and referring back to your resolve that the whole elbow-deep in cow innards isn't so bad in a way that doesn't beat them over the head with it.

Answer 2

After graduation, I see myself spending time overseas in an animal conservation project, before returning to Australia to work in a small animal clinic, caring for stray animals and injured wildlife. Perhaps the internal exploration of a cow fetus has its merits.

Answer 3

I guess I don't understand why you'd want to mention your aversion to bovine rectal exams in the first place, unless asked directly. This personal statement doesn't sound like a sounding board for stand-up comedy.

If you erase that comment in the beginning, you won't have to worry about summarizing it later.

Answer 4

How about inserting something like:

"While many people may be disgusted and unwilling," between two of your already well written sentences to join them together?

Two of your sentences are somewhat of a contrast. Placing a "joining phrases" will put them together nicely.

Answer 5

if you are working at a small animal clinic why do you want to put anything about a cow? makes it sound like you don't know what you really want to do....

Answer 6

I like what you have already very much, it made me smile... why do you have to add anything onto that, or change it in any way?

Answer 7

"That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!"