How do I tell my parents that I'm not ok?

Question

I'm kinda depressed and I want to tell my parents but I dont know how and I dont know how they'd react. I've told them before and they played it off like a joke like "oh haha thats funny hun"
My parents are the kind of people who like to pretend everything is fine and they are very affectionate. I'm just really unhappy, but I dont know how to tell them. I think if I tell them, I'll be letting them down so I go through everyday wearing a fake smile. They're really worried about my brother and his college and I'm kinda getting forgotton. I'm 14 and I just feel like everythings falling apart.
If your 14 year old daughter was depressed would you want her to tell you?
How should I tell my parents?

I typed that wrong....they dont show any affection for me or my brother. I guess its kinda dumb but I just wish for once I could get a hug from them and just actaully feel loved.

I'm not in public school, I'm homeschooled. I have no one else...

STOP saying to go to my school!! I can't! I dont have friends because they all ditched me because I wouldn't smoke pot!!! The only person I really have is my brother and he's 6 hours away and he's always to busy to call me.

I do love my parents more then anything nothing with ever change that.
I have a few friends, but I'm not super close with them and my old friends I'll always love them because we were close for years.

There happy?

Answer 1

Write your parents a letter. Be open & totally honest. Don't let fear or embarrassment stop you from opening your heart. Tell them what you posted in this question plus more that you didn't share w/ us. Explain that you are scared and sad and don't want to be a disappointment. That you want/need their support. If you were my daughter and you told me about your depression, I'd feel really sad. Only because I'd want to make you happy & mentally healthy. I would not blame you or think you are being overly dramatic. It shows a lot of maturity to know that something just isn't right and you need help/ support. Be proud of that. If you really feel that you can't write a letter to your parents (which I think you should), what about writing one to your brother? Perhaps he would help you approach your parents when he is home. I can understand your parents being worried about your brother & college and it seems/feels like you've been forgotten but I'm sure they really do love you alot and just as equally. Sometime parents get wrapped up in things and don't always think. It's human nature. Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm 13 and I have had a similar experience.
Earlier this year in January, I got depressed and to the point when I slit my wrists and wanted to die. I would cry in the shower and to sleep because I was just having a bad relationship with my sister, nonstop fighting at my house, sister wanting to commit suicide, dad not there for us, stepdad and mom getting married, friends not being there, feeling isolated and all that. The thing is that I've kept it in for so long one day I reached my melting point and spilled it to a close friend of mine. She was shocked and worried and it was all mished and mashed like she was gonna tell a counselor if I dont and I told her I would. But now I'm over it, talked to a counselor, got closer friends, built better relationships, and doing well in school. You learn to put it behind you and realize that the past makes you stronger and a better person. Sometimes you may think its shameful but you think again and realize you've gained so so much. You are in your teens hun, you are not the only one who has had this before. Depression is very common with people around our age. Sit them down and make them aware that you are about to have a conversation that they should take seriously. They love you they care for you and they will be there for you even though it may not feel like it. Since you are homeschooled lonliness may be one of the factors. If you have any good friends hanging out with them more and having a good time really sparks life and makes it worth living. I went to a school couselor and confronted the fact I wanted to kill myself. It was the toughest thing I've ever done. But the thing was, my mom wasnt home she was on a business trip and my great aunt was babysitting so the school would not release me unless Im with a guardian that is aware of my condition. Do not make that mistake like I did. But in the end, everything is fine.
Sorry if this was too long but I hope for the best.

Answer 3

My parents were the same way sweetie. I even got to the point where I was considering suicide and wrote a suicide poem to my parents. My mom said that I was a stupid selfish little sh*t for trying to hurt her like that, and that somebody my age could not be depressed when they haven't even experienced life yet. So since your parents seem kind of detached from you emotionally, I would suggest talking to someone at school, they can help in so many ways. If you don't want to try that then do you have a good friend who has a caring mom? Maybe you could confide in her?

I will also tell you this, what you are feeling is completely normal for teens, it happens to most of us. There are so many changes and adaptations your body and mind go through, and when you start experiencing the high school drama and difficulties it just makes everything that much more stressful. My outlet for my teenhood depression was writing, I would usually write poems or short stories and it helped so much!! It gave me a creative way to express myself that I didn't have to share with anyone else. You may possibly have a depression disorder or hormonal imbalance as well, and something like that needs to be treated by a professional. My moms' nonchalance and evilness towards me as a child caused PTSD which I turned into Borderline Personality Disorder, well that is what my psychologist thinks anyway. Regardless she screwed with my head through her behavior.

However, if you really want to tell your parents you are going to have to make them listen. Do not get angry or start crying, just be as matter of fact as you can. Tell them you think you should see a doctor or a counseler. if you show any emotion they will probably think it is an act for attention purposes and blow it off. Finally, yes if any of my babies were having problems with depression (or anything) I would want to know. I have 3 of my own now, and have vowed to never treat them how I was treated. Good luck sweetie and if you want to talk to someone feel free to email me :)

Answer 4

What you are talking about is not new to this day and age. Your age has something to do with it, but you still need your parents support. If your family has benefits through one or more of your parents employers you could try asking your parents if you could see a counselor, sometimes there are a group of hours that are cost effective. If you parents do not respond, you may have to ask at you school. If you have a family member, like an Aunt, ask her to help you talk to your parents. Don't just let this go because your parents think you are just being a young person. Taking care of a small problem now can stop a huge problem later on in life.

Answer 5

I think that it might be good to sit your Mom and Dad down and ask them if you can please go see a counselor. Tell them that you have told them in the past that you were feeling depressed and you feel they did not take you seriously. Say that you are aware that depression can be chemical and you would like to talk to someone who can evaluate if yours is or not. And then mention that you are feeling really alone, being 14 and having a brother gone at college. Say that it would probably be best if you talked to someone about all this so that you could let out some of what hurts and makes you sad. This is a mature thing to do and it will force your parents to take you seriously. And counseling really does help. It is somewhere to be safe in talking about how this all feels (and they will not tell your parents what you say at all).

Answer 6

Can I ask you a question? In your profile it says:

"I'm 14 and a freshman in highschool. I love animals. I wouldn't trade my friends and family for the world they mean everything to me."

and in this question you say:

"I typed that wrong....they dont show any affection for me or my brother. I guess its kinda dumb but I just wish for once I could get a hug from them and just actaully feel loved."

and

"STOP saying to go to my school!! I can't! I dont have friends because they all ditched me because I wouldn't smoke pot!!! "



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You've lost me...

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anyway, you need to find one person who you can really open up to, like talk with or vent to them, just someone who cares about you.
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Answer 7

First of all, you've already taken the first step by sharing your feelings publically but i think your parents are the persons you should be discussing this with. If you can talk to a stranger about how you feel you should be able to tell your parents. Tell them you love them, tell them what you're feeling, and keep telling them until they hear you and listen. Let them determine if you need to talk to a doctor to see if you are indeed depressed. "DON'T GIVE UP.!!!!!!

Answer 8

Yes! I would very much want her to tell me!
As for the hugs, maybe they have just gotten out of the habit of hugging. Why don't you try that first.
You can hug your mom. You don't have to wait for her to hug you. If you want her to hug you, then you must feel like she does love you, she just doesn't show it very well?
Just say, mom I need a hug today. And hug her. She may feel self concious at first but she'll get used to it.
Try a little more to get what you need from your parents, or at least one.
The squeky wheel gets the grease! Meaning, the person who communicates, and keeps trying, gets what they need.

Answer 9

omg yeah when i told my mom that, she just played it off too. Until she saw what i was talking to people online about and she kinda took me seriously. Maybe write some like fake letter about like something depressing and put it in a obvious spot so they see it. I don't know that might work.

Answer 10

You have told them and they ignored you. You have nobody? A girlfriends mother, an aunt, a grandmother? Tell them again and tell them that you are serious and they cannot ignore it. Do you have a teen crisis center where you live? If you do call them for assistance. They will know what to do for you. I would want my daughter to tell me but I would also believe her. Try to convince them soon. Good luck honey.