Why do people ask an OBVIOUSLY offensive question and then think that it makes it LESS offensive if they say "no offense"? Personaly I get MORE offended when someone knows they have to say that! Shouldn't we all come to some sort of understanding that : if you have to ask yourself "I wonder if this is going to offend someone?" that MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T SAY IT OR ASK IT? Am I just crazy or is this a real issue?
2007-11-29 12:48:24 · 33 answers · asked by Valleygirl41 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Yes I do mean those people that THROW it out all the time. Not those that are being caring. Some people use it will just about every sentence.
2007-11-29 13:12:37 · update #1
Yes, it is a real issue and no. you are not crazy. People seem to think that they can say anything thing they want and if it offends someone then they can just say "no offense" and everything will be okay.It's just an excuse to say something hurtful and it should not be tolerated.
2007-11-29 12:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have asked a question and said "I don't want to offend anyone but what does this mean?" I didn't believe it would be any less offensive I just really didn't know the answer and because of my lack of understanding I was hoping no one would take offense and answer my question. I'm sure there are some people who think they can be rude if they say "no offense" but there are others who don't know what they are asking and hope they didn't ask it in a way that would offend someone. How are you going to learn about something if you don't ask? You do of course have to use some common sense and etiquette - don't ask someone why their nose is so huge - but I think it's ok to ask someone about their culture or beliefs if you are not antagonistc and are just trying to understand.
2007-11-29 12:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by just me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ONLY time those words should be used is when you're telling your FRIENDS the ENTIRE truth - including the things that they do NOT want to hear...
Things such as: "by sleeping with a different guy EVERY single night - and NOT using protection - you ARE going to get an STD... or pregnant!"
When you do this, you are using the words "No offense" to mean "I KNOW that I am sticking my nose into your business - but I am ONLY doing so because I care about your well being"...
Even then - people tend to get pissed if you say that... But sometimes people NEED to hear the "hard" truth, or they just aren't aware of how their actions are affecting those around them!!!
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But getting back to your question - people who throw "no offense" - or "just kidding" - after saying something hurtful tend to be immature, or have VERY twisted senses of humour...
Especially on a forum like this one - where you DON'T know who any of the other users really are - it just smacks of sheer ignorance. They WANT to say something hurtful - but don't want to get their question removed for being the ATTACK that it was designed for. So they throw those two little words into the question - and "suddenly", it's NOT supposed to be offensive...
>:(
2007-11-29 13:02:20 · answer #3 · answered by kr_toronto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is offensive to you may not be offensive to others, and if I think that some people might get offended by what I am asking then I have to say "no offense" to those. But if I deliberately ask an offensive question to a specific group of people then my "no offense" is more offensive than the question itself.
2007-11-29 13:06:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think so. People just say that to tell them that they realize that it might be an offensive question towards them. They just want the other person to know that they know that this question could affect them personally. If you think about it this way you will realize that others are being courteous while curious.
Of course, it it really is a mean comment, than the other person should realize how much it could hurt someone and just keep their mouth shut.
2007-11-29 12:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by lahas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a real issue. The "No offense intended" doesn't make it any less offensive.
It's like people who start with "I hate to bother you, but...." I always think, "No you don't, or you wouldn't." That and "May I ask you a question?" Didn't you just DO that?
2007-11-29 12:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by oklatom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find that it depends on the usage of the phrase. For example, if someone is genuinely ignorant of a subject area and is really interested... as opposed to asking the offensive question out of spite, then i think its ok for them to ask it and say "no offence" to show that they are genuinely interested in an answer.
Though i do see your point... some people do over use it, and rather inappropriatley,
2007-11-29 12:53:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the question needs to be asked - you never know anymore who your going to offend. You could say hello, and that may offend someone, people are so very sensitive now a days.
2007-11-29 12:53:26 · answer #8 · answered by Beau 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They say it so that u wont take it personal because they dont have a problem with you if some one says somethin about a culture in front of some one they say no offence because they dont kno if it will offend them or not and it does not imply to the person that they are talking to.
2007-11-29 12:53:14 · answer #9 · answered by Kimmy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it is a real issue. I have a friend that does this all the time. She will say sorry at the begining of a sentance like she knows im going to get mad at her but she says it anyway. ok here is an example.
Sorry but you look kinda fat today
And im just standing there like what the hell if you have to say sorry in the beging of a sentance that is a good indicator not to say it!
2007-11-29 12:54:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋