well, she worked with this guy at her previous job she dose'nt work there now but yeah and she divorced my real dad about 7 years ago and she remarried and has been remarried for about 6 now and she talks about this "darren" guy ALOT and my dad has suspected stuff for a while and they fought over it yesterday and then they made up last night and i am just 15 and i have already been through divorce once and i don't want to be again and it terrifies me to think she is cheaitng on him but right after they made up lat night and he left for work she and "darren" went out and got drunk and she even drunk and drove last night she could barely walk when she got home and that is NOT like my mom and i am soo terrified something is going to happen... i don't knwo what to do or say...
2007-11-29 12:00:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, I am so sorry.
Even if she and darren are "just friends" what she did is beyond inappropriate.
You need to talk to your mom. Beg her to get some counselling. Who knows what issues are in your mom's past, to bring on this sort of thing.
If your mom does not go to counselling, you should still talk to a pastor or a school counselor, someone who is an adult who you can trust. You should not have to deal with this sort of problem by yourself, you are way too young.
Again, I am very sorry for what you and your family have gone through. I sure hope you can see ways that your life and your future can be different...you have a good future ahead.
Hope things work out for you............
2007-11-29 12:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by greengo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. . . they could just be real good friends, but its very irresponsible of your mom to leave after your dad goes to work and to disrespect him like that right after they fought about this guy!! thats so wrong even if they are friends.
It's also disrespectful to go out and get drunk when you have kids at home!
i'm 22 yrs old, and never in my life did i see my parents ever go out by theirselves to go and get drunk with the opposite sex ever!
they always go out together and let each other know of everything, and they dont hang out with the opposite sex alone, even if they are friends...
i dont know what to tell you girl, whether she's cheating or not, she might not be, what she is doing is wrong, and is definetly not a good example to you kids.
she should grow up already! i think ur more of an adult than she is... sorry, but its the truth.
there is really not much you can do because she will do whatever she wants no matter what, you might have to go thru another divorce if she keeps this up - u need to be strong because obviously ur mom doesnt really care about your feelings and or ur dads and only cares about what she wants
2007-11-29 12:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by Hard Candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to use a little of what we adults call reverse psychology. you can try a combination of things. 1st act extra sad and withdrawn enough for her to notice. Whether she notice or not in general conversation mention to her that your having nightmares that are really bothering you. Make her think your having bad dreams about her divorce from your real dad then go into grave details of how it was a horrible experience for you how you would never want to relive that again, express how important your current dad is to you and how it would hurt you deeply to ever lose him for any reason. Then thank her for making good choices so you never have to be hurt like that again. It might pull at her heart strings and play on her guilty conscience causing her to correct the mistakes she's making before it's too late. Good Luck.
2007-11-29 12:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by JAY920 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, I am SO sorry you seem to have such an irresponsible and immature and selfish mother. You are the child in this equation and should NOT have to deal with adult issues, however, since you already know and are stressed about thhis I think you NEED to tell your step Dad or a school counsellor or a family member (adult) you trust annd ask them for help and to get your mom help. This is so selfish of her. If your parents divorce, it is NOT your fault and if I were you I'd live with my step Dad- your mother is a threat to your emotional and physical safety.
2007-11-29 12:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by Renesme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, sorry you have to go through that. Talk to your mom and let her know what you feel, and how you look at what is going on. This should open her eyes. Don't be afraid to talk to her, she is your mom and the one person you should be able to talk to about anything including her the issue around you. If your uncomfortable talking to her then write her a letter. Good luck
2007-11-29 12:07:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its important to understand that this has nothing to do with you. i know it doesnt seem that way but you do not need to bare the responsibility of your mothers actions.
i have no doubt its confusing for you but this is an adult situation and you need to worry about being a teenager.
it could be as simple as your mother needing something in her life right now that her husband is not offering. dont take this on as your problem, regardless of the outcome, you will be ok. im sure it doesnt seem fair right now and there are probably things that you are not able to understand.
good luck to you!
2007-11-29 12:07:40 · answer #6 · answered by chantel 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry, that has to be horrible for you.
I think you should talk to your step dad about it, if you have a good relationship with him.
Maybe you could find a time when your mom is acting like herself and talk to her about it.
You have every right to let them know your concerns.
Good luck!
2007-11-29 12:08:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i would sit down and talk with her ask her if she is being unfaithful, and that you will not tell your father, tell her that you do not want another marriage too go to waste and physicaly and mentally you can not go through another one.
I would lay a big guilt trip down on her.
2007-11-29 12:09:56 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know is hard for you because you have already experience a divorced, but is bot up to you. your mother decide to stay marry nor move on with her life. when you get older you'll will understand better.
2007-11-29 12:07:26 · answer #9 · answered by lizrobledo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to your mom and let her know how her actions are having an effect on you. not all parents realize that their kids notice their actions. just talk to her, she'd probably be mortified at the fact that she stumbled in drunk and her 15 year old kid had to see it.
2007-11-29 12:06:48 · answer #10 · answered by jkinkade81 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋