Dead Bodies???

Question

Tell me how this story sounds so far.

A fire cracker exploded. A car driving past veered off the bridge,and the plummeted into the swirling water below. The water quickly began to fill with blood. The bodies floated up, will at least some of it. Few mmiles away the arms and the legs were found. The birds were pecking at it,as if it was lunch. The skin all brown,blood gussing out, and you can see the bright red flesh!!!!

This is all made up. If u could give me ideas that be great.

Answer 1

A fire cracker exploded! A car driving past veered off the bridge and plummeted into the swirling, icy water below. The river quickly began to turn red, as if a drop of dye had been splashed into a glass of water. The remains of the poor unfortunate victims began to rise slowly and lifelessly towards the top, at lest the parts of them that were still intact. Down stream a few miles away, washed up the arms and legs of the rivers latest victims. Flying overhead were scavenger birds, which began to fest upon the remains. They pecked and gnawed at the waterlogged and decaying flesh, like a starving man, enjoying an ornate holiday meal. The skin swollen, with a blackish blue color to it, and the smell of old pennies or rusting iron. Each peck left a pinkish tear in what was once a warm loving hand that felt pleasure and pain. Now the only feeling that surrounded it was that of the crows and vultures, as their bellies became full of the succulent treat. ( how does that sound? ☺ ) I like what you have I just did this as a way to kinda add to it a little. What are you writing about? =)

Answer 2

A fire cracker exploded. jolted by the sound, a sleepy woman, senses now alert, overcorrected her steering and ran her and her three small children onto and through the barrier of the bridge. The small blue Ford Festiva, wadded up like a ball of trash shot like a cannon ball into the air and plummeted hundreds of feet to the swirling watery grave below. The car struck hard and all four occupants were ripped from their restraints and easily decapitated on the glass from the shattered front windshield. The bodies remained stationary and were quickly decimated by an agitated mass of pirhana, but the bloody heads ascended and bobbed on the surface only to be carried away by a giant teradactyl who fed their brains to her young.

Answer 3

I think it sounds very unrealistic. Why would tons of blood and body parts happen just because of a fire cracker and a car going off a bridge into water?

Answer 4

5/10 sorry babe:) but yea...something has to happen like a bomb going off to cause the body parts...make it take a little longer like a struggle in the water of people trying to get out and then the witnesses see/hear an under water explosion then blood....followed by body parts start to rise up:) bye:)

Answer 5

So you listen to the Insane Clown Posse too, huh?

Answer 6

That is pretty bold for a vegetarian...........lol
Jk...it sounds like a Steven King book.

Answer 7

rating....4/10

Answer 8

try prozac

Answer 9

lol you tell me can you see it

Answer 10

add sum more and it would b good