have this problem with my boyfriend recently, We have our ups and downs like most of other people do, conflicts arguments and diffrencent perpectives of love and relationship..But we both love eachother and know it..but recently everything is getting hard for me..I just dont feel loved most of the time..he is kind of person who shows opposite attracts and it's the way I feel loved and wanted...So, after talks and discussions that we have had last week he asked me to list the things that i dont like about him and also I love about him...Im just kinda nerveios and dont know how to tell what i want ..how to start and how to end it that doesnt make him upset or disappointed at me ..and make himTHINK AND REALIZE my need..Any suggestion and advice is a big help to save my relationship ...just need some good direction of listing my needs , how to start and how to end in most impressive way. ..thanks friends.
2007-11-29 11:45:39 · 3 answers · asked by Paris 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think is awesome that he wants to know what things you like about him and what things you don't.
It probably makes you nervous because you don't want to dissapoint him or hurt such a great relationship for things that might not be such a big deal after all.
Here are some tips for you:
Rule # 1: You can't make him happy. Sorry to say that but if he chooses to be upset instead of accepting your feedback, well, it was his choice.
Rule # 2: Be kind and objective. Don't say "I hate the way you snore. I can't sleep 'cause you are so loud!" Say instead: "I worry sometimes if you are getting a good night sleep because when I hear you breath at night, it seems like you are congested." See the difference? No judgement, just an observation.
Rule # 3. Separate the things you can live with from the ones you can't. For example: If you can live with him throwing his socks all over the place, then why say anything? If you can't live with a messy person because it just makes you lose respect for him, then tell him... objectively and kindly.
Rule # 4. VERY IMPORTANT. Love yourself first. If you don't respect your own opinions and you don't value yourself, he won't either. If you think he has the power to make you happy, wrong oh! Only you can make yourself happy and then, share your happinness with him. And viceversa.
It's so awesome to know for sure when someone loves you truly.
Great work seeking help. It's worth it.
2007-11-29 12:09:00 · answer #1 · answered by Nancy D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he ask you to impress him or he ask you to be honest about your needs . No relationship will survive without honesty I have 41 yrs of marriage behind me Honesty . dialog and faith fullness are 3 condition to the survival of a healthy relationship
2007-11-29 11:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i seriously do not think writing a list... is an adult type activity. just talk. enough with the write a list. now that will really start an argument.
2007-11-29 11:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋