I want to test out your intuition here and get some feedback on how you would respond to the following scenario and how you think others may respond as well.
Scenario:
I know you through work, we get on well and talk regularly. During our conversations you mention that we are friends whenever I mention important things. Then one day you suddenly begin to shy away. We stop talking lots and any time we do talk it becomes only about work, yet you still find reasons to mention that we are friends. The shyness between us increases and you passively aggressively start ignoring any external conversation that is non work related.
I mention that it's becoming a problem and you deny that it's happening and apologize for doing it. Over the next month you creep back to your old habits and begin ignoring me again.
One day I mention I have a friend that is annoying and talks too much. I ask you for your opinion on how to approach the situation giving you options:
2007-11-29 11:30:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
1.Ignore the person
2.Tell the person they are annoying
3.Keep everything superficial and pretend like nothing is wrong
You answer that you would ignore the person.
I respond by saying that I would ask the person that question and treat them the way they would treat someone else.
Would you pick up that I was talking about you? How would you respond?
2007-11-29 11:30:28 · update #1
You are making this person nervous by being too aggressive. He/she mentions that you are 'friends' to help you to see that he/she only wants a platonic relationship with you.
I really think you might want to back off.
It's difficult, but necessary.
2007-11-29 11:39:32 · answer #1 · answered by Red Velvette KY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't play games or hint around at the issue with the person. That just causes more confusion. The best approach is to come right out and ask if there is something you did that caused this mood shift. You can put the person at ease by beginning "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" and then cite some real examples of how this person has been acting towards you. Follow up by saying, "Please tell me I haven't done something to make you feel uncomfortable'. This method will not incite the person to become defensive and will entice them to help you work out the situation together.
Good luck.
2007-11-29 11:37:33 · answer #2 · answered by Billy Shat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're overthinking this entire issue. Your 'friend' is feeling too much pressure from you and is retreating. Your options are either to keep up the pressure and expect your friend to keep ignoring you, or to relent a bit and 'chill out' for a while and allow them to seek YOU out instead. If they do, problem solved. If they don't, you have your answer.
Whether WE would 'pick up' that you were talking about us and how WE would respond is irrelevant. It's not us you're having a problem with.
2007-11-29 11:35:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be my normal self. Nice and friendly. That's all that you can control in the relationship. who knows what some other person might have told them.
2007-11-29 11:36:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say I hate stupid people stay away from me
2007-11-29 12:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋