What is wrong with me? Please help?

Question

I'll try and make this story as short as possible, so please bear with me.

About three months ago, I met a wonderful person on Yahoo Answers. We spoke on MSN for about a month, during which he would constantly pester me to meet him.
At first I said yes straight away, but as I got thinking, I started to get paranoid that he would think I was hideous as soon as he saw me.

So after that, I kept postponing our meetings (and by this time we had started talking on the phone almost everyday)... but we still fell in love.

Then one day, we were discussing what we would do if we met, and I jokingly said "I would only do that if you were blindfolded" - but then he seriously said he would do it.

So a short while after this, we met - and he wore a blindfold. We have now met several times and each time he has worn a blindfold. Everything except that has been absolutely normal though. We've kissed and done other things.

Anyway, tonight the blindfold accidentally slipped off and he saw me briefly. I’m so disturbed by this that I feel like I never want him to see me for real. I think I’ve become complacent with the blindfold as it provides some kind of security. I’ve never really been able to be myself around anyone because I have issues about people looking directly at me and issues with the way I look.

Even though he tells me that he truly loves me, I’m worried that if he were to see me, it might change that. What shall I do? I love him so much and we could be so happy together if I could just get over this.

Please help me. Thankyou.

I am deadly serious.

Oh. I also forgot to mention that he has seen me on my webcam... and he has seen loads of pictures of me.

He does tell me I'm beautiful, but it still doesn't convince me...

Answer 1

You should phone radio one with this crap... they broadcast this stuff all the time..

However i think that you have taken your insecurity a little too far

Answer 2

I think you have a sincere desire to be a closet-lover. If that's true, go back to the pond where you found him and look for another fish. You have issues too deeply ingrained to resolve on this site.
Are you hideous, ugly, deformed, or what?
If this man has given this much time and attention, and fallen in love with you, and as you say, the blindfold has slipped, he's SEEN you, and you need to get over yourself!!!!
If he still expresses desires to see you, go for it.
Here's a suggestion. Get a motel room, a neutral place. Tell him you want to meet him there, and you arrive first. When you answer the door, he has the agreed-upon blindfold in place. As you open the door, and lead him into the room to a chair, he's still blind-folded. After you seat him in the chair, you stand in front of him, completely naked, and ask him to remove the blindfold. You will know by the look on his face if he has the same issues as you. I think that he's seen you when the blindfold fell off as you were making out. Ask him what he wants to do next, and if he doesn't run for the door, accept that he accepts you as you are. If you are good enough for him, be good enough for yourself.
I think you atre building glass houses. I suggest you give this man you have fallen in love with one more chance.

Answer 3

You, like many people, have qualms about the way you look. If you feel unsafe about the idea of meeting him without a blindfold on, then it doesn't sound like you have much faith in him to begin with. If he really is "a wonderful person" and you are really "in love", then put your trust and faith in the notion that he won't leave you because of how you look. Just take the big plunge; be brave. You are likely to find someone who will still like you for who you are, and may even feel that you are the most beautiful person he's ever seen, even if you don't think so.

Keep in mind that your relationship will never move forward if he has to wear a blindfold all of the time. You owe it to yourself AND him to trust him and believe that he won't run away crying upon first glimpse of you.

Answer 4

Well.. All i can say is that I think you are too self concious. And you are not happy with the way you look that is just obvious from reading the first paragraph!

Remember he has told you that he thinks you are beautiful WITHOUT the blindfold on!
So obviously he doesn't need to wear it anymore..

Just remember.. People are beautiful on the inside also and everyone has different qualities..Personality counts to.

So give it a go and try meeting him without the blindfold on/

What is the worst thing that can happen..?
He can turn you down
That isn't going to happen anyway because he thinks your beautiful and obviously likes you for who you are!!!!!!

If he did happen to turn you down SO WHAT!
There are plenty of fish in the sea

hope this has helped =]
xx

Answer 5

While it does strike me as odd that you've made him wear a blindfold, I can kind of understand it. When you feel insecure about your looks, you think that people automatically judge you based on just that. It's easier to hide. However, love is not supposed to be based on outward appearance. It sounds like you've gotten to know this guy pretty well, and I doubt that he's lying when he said that he'd love you no matter what. I say that if you care about him and he cares about you, you need to realize that your appearance should not matter. He's been very cooperative and caring so far, so repay the favor by taking a leap and letting go of the blindfold. Otherwise, you're not going to get too much farther in this relationship. Love is supposed to be based on the you that's inside, on who you are, not on your appearance. I hope all goes well for you, and God bless!

Answer 6

this really sounds like a film's story line... if u ask me its going to work judging on that you said u did bf-gf stuff... meeting people from the Internet is a very dangerous thing but as u have already done it a few times with the same person and nothing happened i guess u will be fine, just bring a friend with u... i knw it sounds horrible but they can just "spy" on you just in case lol... the blindfold should come off... he really trusts u so much to wear a blind fold lol now that's what i call trust.. of course then again the whole thing sounds too romantic to be true.. hmm i am really lost with this one!!
if u need to chat to a neutral person about that, feel free to chat with me k. :)

Don't do anything stupid, take care of yourself
Lots of hugs
Rose xxx

Answer 7

First, if you believe this person is so shallow, that his love for you is predicated on you physical appearance, then you have the wrong person, I don't believe this is the case from what you have said.
Self image, is something we all are concerned with, that is why we comb our hair, brush our teeth, etc. However in some cases we become obsessed, and it becomes a anxiety provoking problem.
This seems to be the case with you at this point in time. It really is no big deal, and can be dealt with quite easily. Please talk with a psychologist, and resolve this now. If not it will continue to impact on your life in a negative way.

Answer 8

I dont know if you're serious?
Just in case you are, you really shouldnt rely on the blindfold. No relationship can last with the way you're going, and plus its pretty crazy. You need to be confident with they way you look, and have a partner who likes you as you are. Otherwise, theres really no point.

Also, i recommend that you talk through this eye contact issue with a professional.

p.s. hes already seen you 'briefly', surely he knows what you look like now?

Answer 9

Listen to your own advice. You can be happy together if you can get over this issue with your own self asteem. Just be yourself, so far he has accepted you. Love and the path of happiness is not without risks, but pass along it we must if we are to get anywhere, whatever the risks and hurt we may come across. If it doesn't work out, then nevermind, it wasn't meant to be, there are plenty of fish in the sea, somebody for everybody. Be happy with who and what you are, and the rest will fall into place. Good luck x

Answer 10

I thought the wearing a blindfold for your first meeting was funny/cute, but wearing it all the time I think he should have his **** kicked.

I can't make up my mind if you need help or just need a life.

Answer 11

True love should never be about how he will react when he see's you one day through his own eyes, but how he does feel about you already...... let him look, it can be that your insecure about yourself. He has to see you one day, so let him see you now rather then later. If he responds negatively, it may hurt you because you fell for him deep... remove that blindfold next time he comes and let that beautiful face shine xxxxxx