if you lost someone your friend or relative how would you cope with it?

Answer 1

I recently lost my grandmother (only two days ago) and I'm coping with it by remembering the good times we had together and reminiscing about our lives with my family.

Everyone has their own different ways to cope. Some people crack jokes, other people try to ignore it..... I personally like making the best of a bad situation.

Answer 2

My son was KIA in Afghanistan 17 months ago.

Cope? Function? Get Over it?

Words, words used by those who have not traveled such paths.

Living feeling stunned is a descriptive term. Stuffing a wash rag in my mouth while I sob in the shower so no one hears me happens.

I would suggest be careful who you open your feelings too.

People in the beginning are so "there for you" so "supportive".

Don't trust in it. They quickly get bored and move on. There are those that get caught up in being the "hero" taking care of you.

They aren't going to be there for you in the middle of the night when you ache, your mind races, your racked with sobs. And all those that said "call me anytime" you knew they didn't really mean at 1:00 am didn't you!

This is a process, personal, only one you can travel. It will be at your own time, with your own tools.

Your best off finding the tools yourself.

Depend on professionals. Not your friend at coffee, or that new one that drops in (some people get a "high" off doing that).

You will find that some of those who "befriend to care" take that "concern" on to the next coffee clutch or family gathering to "discuss you".

Next thing you know everyone is telling you how to do, feel.......You can feel betrayed, confidences you may have shared will be exposed. And you'll be more hurt and isolated than you could have ever imagined.

What you need is your faith (what ever that is to you) your own silent safety, time and healing.

Bottom line is, it's different for each one, there is no map to follow.

Each person had a different relationship with the one lost/killed. Each will react differently.

Be sure of one thing, be sure of yourself, what your feeling, no one has any business telling you how you should feel, act, behave.

Read books, find the one that fits what your going through, or scan them and find that parts that hit you. Find the right music to relax and listen to. Sometimes, and maybe for a long time silence is all you'll be able to tolerate.

Visiting my son's grave, taking a rose mean a lot to me.

Sometimes my adult special needs son will actually say Mom I need to go lay down by my brother and talk to him. So off we go, with my Fallen Soldiers dog, and a blanket, and a candle. Let the cars that drive by look. They have no idea. Do you know grown men travel to lay on their son's graves in Arlington!

There are times my mind says "no more today" and it might be two hours into the day! It will mean pulling back, maybe wrapping in his blanket for 30 minutes or longer, putting on his flannel shirt and sitting at the computer wrapped in it..

What is healing for you, do. Don't let others criticize you for it. And don't overlook getting professional help if you need it.

Answer 3

Been there and done that.. It's hard to deal with. But you deal with it the best you can. Go to the Funeral, pay your respects. If they are buried at an area that you can get to try to get there as often as you can and just sit and talk to them. Especially if they were a family member or close friend. Obviously they won't talk back but it'll help you to cope with it if you know that you can sit there and at least talk to them. They can see you anyways from above and they will know that you are there and still care an that enough will help you cope with their death.

Good luck

Answer 4

In the future, I could lose my boyfriend.

I'm not sure. I've never lost anyone before. Besides my great grandfather, but he passed when I was about 2 or 3, so I didn't understand, which made it not affect me. I wish I knew how it felt to lose someone...But I just don't, and It is my number one biggest fear.....For everyone that reads this that has lost someone, Best luck in life, and hang in there. I don't know you....but I'll always be there for anyone....

Answer 5

When my Mom died I made a memory garden with plants flowers everything that reminded me of her Eveytime I planted a bulb I would think of a good memory In the spring and summer up came the flowers Thus celebrateing my Mom and the good memories When my foster mom died of alzhiemer I donated to the combined federal campaign Which donates whatever money you want to the charity of cause of you choice each pay period My friend died of cancer I did a five k in her honor It is okay to cry and get it out of you system But it is better to make there life celebrated Walk for the cause if they die from cancer or donate to the cure If they died in gang violence work with others to take back the nieghbor hood Start nieghborhood watches Voleenteer at your local shelter soup kitchen make a difference in there name

Answer 6

You might want to talk to a friend in the same circumstances or if you have a Paster or some one who knows the bible to help you cope with such a tragic thing I will pray for you Godbless

Answer 7

The loss of a loved one is something that affects of all so very deeply and so very differently that when you say "COPE WITH IT", every individual has their own way of coping with loss. It's just too deep to really know until it happens to you!

Answer 8

i would cry a few days but after a while keep a picture of them in ur room but if u cry to much it could upset his soul in heaven and make him/her wish they could be there and just cool it and it is okay to weep once in a while but not all the time.ur life is okay with the situation when u know his /her soul is happy.

i hope this helps because i feel happy when i can give advice to this and i know how it feels i have lost fifteen family memebers and i am only ten.

Answer 9

Honor them with actions in your own life. If they were your friend or relative, you likely had common interests. Develop those interests during your lifetime, and it will help you feel happy that you got to know those people the way you did.

Answer 10

i lost my best buddy in February and i still haven't gotten over it.if i think about her i will get all watery eyed.she was the best dog i ever had.i am having a real hard time over it.honey i know you said people,but she was like a relative to me,and she treated me better than eny relative ever did.and she suffered so much before she died.i also feel guilty because we took her to the vet on a Wednesday and she died Friday and we never even went to see her before her death,i just couldn't bear to see her so near death.she died from tainted dog food,which caused her to have kidney failure.