if you have been married for at least 5 yrs please answer?

Question

oh so i have an assignment for school where i have to ask 6 these questions. so please answer so i can do my assignment. it is due tomorrow. by the way if you answer please state male or female and how long you have been married for.

1. what do you believe it takes to make a marriage work well? What attitudes, beliefs, values, and behaviors from your prespective contribute to making a marriage relationship successful and beneficial to both people.

2. What attitudes, beliefs, values, and behaviors from your prespective contribute to destroying the marriage relationship.

3. What advice and direction would you give to young people when prusing someone to date and marry that would help them be successful and expierence a marriage that is fufilling and honoring to God and man.

Answer 1

Female. Married (almost) 5 years... 8/23/03

1. what do you believe it takes to make a marriage work well? What attitudes, beliefs, values, and behaviors from your prespective contribute to making a marriage relationship successful and beneficial to both people.

We're both children of couples who have been married for over 40 years and saw our parents get through trials and tribuations over the years. We both have a relationship with Jesus Christ and put God first in our marriage. We're active in church. We do little things for eachother like take eachother food on work breaks when we can. We have fun together...whether it's just hanging out or going somewhere special. We make time for just us.

2. What attitudes, beliefs, values, and behaviors from your prespective contribute to destroying the marriage relationship.

When divorce is an option, you're given up on your marriage. Also, when one or both members of the couple feel that they need the other one to "make them whole," the relationship is in trouble. Both people need to be content in themselves before they can be an effective half of a couple.

3. What advice and direction would you give to young people when prusing someone to date and marry that would help them be successful and expierence a marriage that is fufilling and honoring to God and man.

Save the sex for marriage. My husband did and I wish I would have. Develop the relationship on an emotional and spiritual level before exploring eachother physically. Sex means so much more in the bounds of marriage. And you know s/he will still respect you in the morning.

Answer 2

I'm a female, 30 years old and I have been married for 12 years.

1. what do you believe it takes to make a marriage work well? It takes many things. Trust, mutual respect, similar morals/values/goals, love, communication, committment, compromise, support. Overall, I believe the most important thing is friendship. When you honestly enjoy spending time together, you make it work.

2. What attitudes, beliefs, values, and behaviors from your prespective contribute to destroying the marriage relationship.
Most relationships I have seen fail are due to selfishness or immaturity in some respect or another.

3. What advice and direction would you give to young people when prusing someone to date and marry that would help them be successful and expierence a marriage that is fufilling and honoring to God and man.

Decide what is / is not acceptable to you BEFORE getting married, Keep the lines of communication open, be honest with eachother, support eachother's goals and dreams, be independent enough to have your own goals and dreams, be smart with your finances, pick and choose your battles, treat sex as a very important part of your marriage, keep others out of your relationship (and I dont' mean just in a cheating sense-- your friends and family don't have to be involved in every disagreement you have-- it'll eventually come between you), never stop dating and remind yourself every day why you fell in love in the first place.

Answer 3

I've been married a little over 5 years and I'm a female. My husband and I have only had three disagreements in the 11 years we've known each other.

1. I think open and honest communication is helpful. We have a lot of the important things like religion, family values, goals, etc. in common. The things that we don't have in common we are both willing to try or learn. We never talk to each other in a way we wouldn't like to be talked to. We have a lot of respect for each other and respect for what we have to say- even if we don't agree. It's not about winning or always being right- it's about having fun and loving each other.

2. I believe not being thoughtful or mindful of your partners feelings plays a big contribution of unsuccessful marriages. Also, rushing into a relationship/marriage doesn't always end well. Not trusting your partner is also a big no no.

3. My advice would be to NEVER SETTLE!! I would suggest being friends first so you can get to know the person and what they believe and what their values are to make sure they are the same as yours or you can come to an agreement. Make sure the person you marry is someone you have lots and lots of FUN with!

Answer 4

I am a female. I have been married 5 years. A marriage is a bond that takes two to keep together. A couple must always be honest, secure of eachother, respect, trust, and love unconditionally. You can not be selfish, or always ready to blame. Because if the bond needs two to keep together, then if one doesnt do their part to help keep the bond strong the other wasn't there to back the other one up, which caused the bond to break. A marriage is not a game, it is a committment made when two people and there two hearts become one. A marriage is a sacred bond of happiness and needs to be nutured like plants need water. Good luck.

Answer 5

Your marriage age and all kind of mirror mine. My wife and I were married at age 19, and the mid-twenties were tough. I think it's because of the maturity and rapid change that accompanies the early adult years. To give you a little hope, we're approaching our 30th wedding anniversary. (Yeah, that puts me close to 49! Yikes! When did *that* happen?!!?) We're much happier now than we were back then. I like the suggestion one of the other answerer made to look at the 5 love languages site. The truth is that what means love to you and me might be very different. It certainly is for my wife and I. For my wife, it's acts of service and little gifts. When I fold the laundry, scrub the floor, put away the yard tools when she's done in the garden, she reads it as love. When I give her something as simple as a ballpoint pen I picked up on a business trip she loves it. For me, it's words of appreciation and encouragement. And sex. (I'm a guy... Most of us would say that...) I don't know what yours is. Chances are good since you're writing this that your husband doesn't know that yours is, either. Maybe the two of you should work through the 5 Love Languages book by Gary Smalley. It's eye-opening. Overall, what we've found is that the hardest thing about marriage is being willing to work harder on yourself than your spouse. When I'm right and she's wrong and I try to fix her nothing good happens. When I focus, instead, on being the best husband I can be, things change. Fights stop. Love happens. It's crazy. Another book I recommend for you is "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. The main point of that book, in my opinion, is that men are simple creatures. If you meet their needs they will become putty in your hands. I am living proof that this works. Hang in there.

Answer 6

Married 20 years. Stuck because of the kids.

1. It doesn't matter what you believe a marriage destroys your relationship. Look around at other married couples including your parents and stopping lying to yourself.
2. Getting married.
3. The best advice I can give them is: DON'T GET MARRIED if you love the person you are with unless you want it to end.

Answer 7

1. Compatibility.
If 2 people are total opposites they will fight like rabid weasels until divorce is inevitable.
2.If however they are opposites yet willing to change to become more like JESUS, they and they strive for that they can better work things out.
If the 2 people are alike in moral values,and likes, they wont get "bored" doing the things they both love to do with someone they enjoy doing them with, and they they will work through the problems they come across.
However if they are BOTH selfish and self centered and unwilling to change at all, then divorce is inevitable.
3..Dating- dating is for finding someone who is marriage material, so many people jump in bed have sex THEN find out what the other person is really like, whereas if they did this FIRST there'd be a lot less unwanted pregnancies and welfare moms with children who never know their daddies.
If people would take a yr to date,no sex and get to know a person, then by then they should know if they want to get married or not.
4.What kind of person are you looking for?
Most people fantasize WAY too much and instead of seeing a person they are physically attracted as they REALLY are, they just fantasize until reality slaps the living daylights out of them.If they would ask themselves" do they have a job, a car, a home, and pay their own way, do they have good morals?"
Then use this as criteria to find a mate and see if they match up after deciding if they think they are hot or not ,and dumping the ones that dont measure up and pursue the ones who do, they'd save themselves a lot of heart ache.
5.Drug and/or alcohol addictions will destroy a relationship, as well as cheating, gambling,lying etc.
6.Moral absolutes are necessary ,else they will change as a person's wants change.
"I love you, sex, and shacking are NOT a commitment, "I DO" is.

Answer 8

11 years together, married 9

1. trust, communication, love, respect, compromise,honesty, patience. trust is the main thing without you have nothing , not even love will hold up without trust.

2. infidelity, lying, disrespect, violence , selfishness, uncompromise, no communication , and no patience contribute to destroying a marriage.

3. When you date someone, imagine yourself married to them , never date someone you wouldnt marry and have children with . If you can imagine them as a loving parent and loving spouse then date them . See how they treat their parents, especially mothers and sisters . if the man is respectful toward his mother and sisters more than likely he will be respectful toward you. Try to have the same beliefs , about marriage and what it both means to you . If you think dating someone thats a "player" is cute, imagine marrying that player it wont be cute for long. The more beliefs you have in common the easier it will be to merge.

Answer 9

I am female and I have beem married for 6 years I think what makes marriage work is commitment, trust, love and understanding these are thing that make marriage grow.
I think having a bad attitude not comprehending the other preson lies decit, anger and selfishness and most of all cheating.
I think my advice it to try to understand your spouse let me see you side and let him view it and view his both make decision communication is the best part of every relationship and always trust them just like anyway give the the benifit or the dougth and most all love unconditionally.

Answer 10

I'm 26 years old and I've been marriage for 7 years now to my husband who is older me by 19 years. Ours happy relationship is considered blessed for having a survived from the crises we have been faing and we did able to reconciled any differences if there might be because of our open communication that we do not sleep the night if we have had not talk to each other.
Trust, is also important that we have full confidence to each other because we don't hide anything secrete to each other. We shared anything from family problems, financial, social community, organizations and others. We even shared fantasies that each of us if have wild fantasy in bed we are confortable to tell and describe so we could understand each other's need.