Could someone help me with the use of archaic words?

Question

I'm concerned about the archaic words in a poem I wrote. Obviously, I don't talk like this every day. If there's any English majors out there that would be willing to point out my errors, I would be most grateful... Here are the portions:

“Lilith, Lilith, thou hast wrought lust of Adam’s heart
By your virginal disobedience, a cast of Lucifer’s art!”

“Shall not Lilith return justly to her true brethren?
Canst thou, Lord, once again mold the silt of the earth

Whence did thou find the ingredients of her dark soul—

Lo God! No beauty of the earth, nor flower of the lea

Saith he, “Didst thou abandon me, for thy kiss of the Red Sea?”

And the nude cherubim, who fell from the empyrean <--not whom, correct?

Answer 1

"your virginal disobedience" should be "thy virginal disobedience"

"Whence did thou find" should be "Where didst thou find"