Who gave Gary Bettman his job?

Question

How did he get to where he is today? (seriously)
How can we make him go away? (points for creativity here)

Answer 1

hmm well think the how's have been covered.

to get rid of them puckdat ur idea is good but not full proof. i mean he could easily claim he has never used a computer a day in his life.

to get rid of him we got to be sneaky. there is a complicated medical procedure called the buff n turf. i don't know if anyone here has heard of it. its actually one of the most valuable tools in a hospital. well we must apply it here. be must buff him. make him look bright and shiny and where someone else wants him (maybe mls) next we must create a opening for him in mls. if we do a good enough job buffing when we turf they don't bounce. in this cause we got to do two things get him into a commish position with the promising mls, promise them he will talk them to the same position nhl was in mid to late 90's. not sure how we create a vacancy but we shall figure that out. to also help prevent the bounce we must fill the position asap. i say we already have lity ready to step in and I'm sure all the owners already know him the way he talks. if we "convince" the owners fans wont buy tickets or anything else unless we finally have a say. plus a lil closed door neg maybe in order.
to victory
oderint dum metuant

Answer 2

Really LITY. I thought it was the Evil Lord Saron who called Bettman up from the black depths of hell..
We can't get rid of him. He represents the owners of the teams and the league they run. He doesn't represent hockey.
He would disappear if the advise he gave owners lost them money. As for how to make that happen, I have no idea.
Creative answer: If you can get me the MAC address for any computer he owns, I can dump some pretty nasty stuff on it and then we just call the cops.

Answer 3

In 1993 Gil Stein impeached himself, and several people were interviewed for the job.

Gary Bettman was chosen because during his time in the NBA, television ratings were up 361%, revenue increased dramatically, and he was sports executive of the year twice according to a major sports finance magazine.

He was chosen to be the NHL's first commissioner by a group of people led by Mike Ilitch and Steve Stavros.

Answer 4

Since LITY explained better than I did, I recant my previous explanation.

We can make him go away by putting some high grade plutonium in the trunk of his car or in his house and dropping threats along the lines of "I hate America! First I will destroy the NHL then onward to the USA!" Then call the USA DHS on him.

Answer 5

Once upon a time, a retarted Chimpanzee was born, they called him Gary Bettman.

Now growing up Gary was very self concious, because none of the girls would go out with him.

so to be more attractive, Gary decided to become a model, taking pictures like this:
http://media.canada.com/35e2c96f-34dc-4e83-92e9-d555bb9ee29c/0525bettman375.jpg

This: http://thesportshernia.typepad.com/blog/images/2007/06/11/gary_bettman_awful_2.jpg

One like this:
http://www.fanatique.ca/images/_blogue/bettman_gary2a.jpg


and when it cant get any better:

http://espn.go.com/media/oly/2002/0219/photo/a_bettman_i.jpg


Then Gary accidentily got lost and tripped and fell on top of the new commisioner named stu pidfata ss, and killed him.

Gary made a home inside the Comissioner office.

and then he started taking it upon himself to make decisions:

http://www.ishkur.com/sports/nhlplayoffs02.jpg




the only way to get rid of him is to tell him that, unfortunatly, he cant play in the McDonalds play pen.

Answer 6

1) The ownership of the teams at the time.

2) Their collective satisfaction with the job he has done.

3) Stop going to games and purchasing merchandise.

(I wish all solutions were this easy)

Answer 7

To add to what LITY said, he was also highly recommended by Davis Stern (NBA Commish)- wanted to get rid of him maybe???

Answer 8

LMAO at Chris...

we tell him there is a hot monkey just at the bottom of that cliff......

Answer 9

......and here I thought it was good Ol' Walter Disney.