How do I handle letting wealthy family members know that we will not be able to afford to exchange gifts .?

Question

I am out of work and have a new baby on the way. This year I do not see anyway that we will be able to purchase gifts for relatives. They know we are struggling, but do not seem to really get it. I think they just do not know what it is like to not be able to buy food and gas. How can I approach letting them know without affending anyone. My husband is private and would upset if I just came out and told them. I need a more creative approach than just tell them.

Answer 1

The year I quit work to study was really hard for us financially & when Christmas came around we couldn't afford to buy gifts for anyone.....we were barely able to afford to pay the bills & buy food.

We contacted family members & explained the situation to them & they understood.

I then made gifts for each family.....I went to the supermarket & bought:

3 or 4 dark fruit cakes - the cheap homebrand ones work the best for this.
a bottle of cheap brandy - only a half size bottle.
white cooking chocolate.
glace cherries
cellophane
curling ribbon
Total cost was about AU$40.00

Crumble up the fruitcakes & pour in enough brandy to make the cake mushy but not slushy.....roll into balls & pop into the freezer overnight.

Melt the white choc & pour a little over each ball to make it look like a tiny Xmas pudding with icing. Back in the freezer while you chop up some cherries REALLY TINY. Pop a little piece of cherry on the top of each one. Wrap a few in cellophane & tie with curling ribbon.

Each family group got one & they were a big hit.

Now we are in a better position financially (I was able to get a great job with my qualifications) we have bought gifts for everyone & they have all called me to ask if they are not getting some of the lovely little pudding cakes can they have the recipe!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Your husband certainly doesn't need to feel bad about your financial situation. This is the reality of about half our country!
You just give what ever you can afford too. Maybe a collage of family/friends pictures. You can get great frames at the $1 store. Also cute baskets can be found there and you can put cookies or fudge, etc. in those. Or if money is too tight for that, just a nice card with your feelings on that family member written by you inside would be a wonderful keepsake. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your gift. That is not what this time is about. Your own families needs should always come first! Best wishes for you and your husband as you wait for the stork! Merry Christmas!

Answer 3

It might seem kinda kiddish, but maybe instead of telling them you could just make/give them something really small, but thought out. Like getting some craft supplies and making them neat holiday cards. You could probably find some interesting designs on the internet. Maybe even do stamping on the cards or if you're creative draw something holiday themed. That way they will know you are thinking of them and they will know you tried really hard to make creative presents. You probably wouldn't have to buy anything, just look around your house. Also if you don't feel that is enough try baking them some holiday cookies, bread, or a cake and wrapping/ packaging it in some kind of cute holiday flare.
That way all your gifts will be homemade, from the heart, and (if they are kind relatives) you will come off looking like the thoughtful one. Some of the best gifts I have gotten have been handmade.
This way it will be hinting at the money situation, but you do not have to come right out and tell anyone directly.
Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Hi Kimberly,

Unfortunately these days Christmas is more material than religious and people forget that being together with family and friends is far more important than any material stuff (well...maybe a Lamborghini Murcielago... ..:-) )
Those who care about you will understand your situation and those who don't..well...they don't matter.
Are you going to have one of those big family dinners where everyone exchanges gifts ?
What about if you bring some food ? Some nice wine ?
Could you afford that ?
I know that it's common to feel ashamed of being poor and because of that there's alot of hidden poverty. Unfortunately it's the society we live in. But many people forget that today they have a job and are healthy and tomorow they may be jobless and depending of someone even to go to the bathroom.
Cheer up and show your relatives how even having difficulties you and your husband are happy and waiting for something beautiful : a baby.

Kind regards,

José
http://sitekreator.com/hushcolours/index.html

Answer 5

Make gifts for the family members and don't tell them anything. It's none of their business and if they're family and don't understand hard times, then maybe they'll figure it out.

I'm poor too. Never have much money even for bills. I have to make presents because buying for my kids is sometimes impossible. I make my parents CD's with music videos of my kids on it. Take pictures of the kids and set it to music to convey a mood. They appreciate it and understand we're going through hard times. Did the same for my siblings. You could also bake goodies for family, like my fav, Russian Tea Balls, or a cake or cookies or something like that which doesn't cost a lot. If nothing else, you can use your computer to make them a calendar for the coming year with family photos on it or write a poem or paint a picture or sew them a garment or something like that.

If the family get it...great! If they don't, they'll just have to deal with it. I get grief from my materialistic sister, but she's rather shallow. She thinks it's how much you spend that matters and shows love. She doesn't get it, but who cares. Her and her husband have one kid, great paying jobs and live in a big house that they pay 100 bucks rent on a month (his father owns the house). If I had as many breaks as them, I'd be able to buy great gifts too, so I don't let their pettiness get to me. Just ignore the goofballs and do the best you can and don't bother explaining anything. Christmas isn't supposed to be about receiving. It's supposed to be about giving and having a generous heart (aside from the religious connotations attached to the season). Give what you can and if the family doesn't like it, tough. Maybe you could give them a copy of the story "The Gift of the Magi" to drive home the point of the season. I'm sure you could print it out on your computer somewhere. Let me know if you need help searching. A copy shouldn't be expensive if you get one and copy it for them all, though. Maybe 3 bucks in a small paperback, I think.

Good luck.

Answer 6

You say they are family, well dont you think your family already knows that you cant afford it, if they dont know it why cant you be honest and send a beautiful Christmas card and tell them hontesty is the best policy I was very comfortable one time bought everyone presents but you know i could see it made them feel uncomfortable so i quit that what made them happy was for all of us to be together eating together you know we had a swell time and that was the last time my dad was alive he died a little after at. my brother lives far away and has a bad heart problem so we never get to see his family, mom has altimizers now but i remember the best christmas was the one when we were all together one last time. simple stuff is the best, send cookies, make a small dinner party just your family and some small gatherings not everyone at the same time to expensive and to crazy with alot of people. you know you dont have to do things only for christmas. our family says do it all year long for each other. help take care of their pet when they go on vacation. Or baby sit, just simple stuff that we all need each year not just one time of the year and you will all love that extra time with each other. I never understood why is someone only nice to us one day a year. Have many great days ahead and years. Madelyn

Answer 7

Guess what you can do...this is fun..go to a dollar store and purchase a bunch of small baskets...then line them with linen napkins (white are the cheapest) then buy a bunch of fake berries or small garland and bake a whole dozen of scrumptious cookies..oatmeal and raisin and chocolate chip...etc..and wrap in saran wrap...that's it! If you can afford it add a bow on top.

There you go..a gift that was created with your loving hands.

Who can turn that down! MMMMM Homemade Cookies!

Christmas is not about a gift it's about family and the tradition of Christmas.

Answer 8

Don't say anything. They already know. If anything is brought up about it, tell everyone your sorry, but it hasn't been a good year for you. They will understand. Christmas is for children anyway. I don't know how the adults got in there. Bake a cake and take it to the family get together. Put on top of the cake, Merry Christmas Everyone. Be sure to wish Jesus a Happy Birthday.

Answer 9

The baby is the perfect reason, anyone would understand. Just tell them the truth.
We can't really afford to buy gifts for everyone either so what I always do is make something. Cookies or jelly is good, this year I'm making home-made stationary.

Answer 10

Been there, done that!
if you have a good family, one that understands, you shouldn't need to do anything. I wouldn't worry about it! If you feel guilty then call key members of your family & tell them not to buy for you this year, that you would feel better about it.Its not a big thing, really! Christmas is not about gifts anyway!