My wife wants breast implants, I'm against it. Here's her argument?

Question

I have very small breasts and one is bigger than the other which makes it impossible for me to even fit into an A bra. I have always struggled with this problem. It has caused me to have serious sexual problems, not self-esteem problems. I know I am intelligent, capable, and kind. I would like to simply fit into a bra properly, be able to wear lingerie for my husband, and wear dresses and clothes that I cannot wear right now. I have to wear strapless bras that are too tight and hurt me. I want to feel sexually attractive. Right now, I cannot even have sex without picturing my husband with another woman who has breasts. Canadian psychologists, doctors and my family have supported my desire to get implants. Not big implants. Just enough to fill out an A or B bra. That's all I want. I agree surgery is dangerous, but it is a chance I am willing to take. I love my husband very much and want to resolve this issue.

Link to my argument:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=At7NjKsEmIJwfG9IAqlZ_9vsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071129141731AAD9ZNu

Answer 1

She is insecure about her breasts. I completely understand her argument. It is something that she has to live with every day. Have you ever had a pimple, or a scar or something else and you felt like everyone around you noticed it? That's how she feels every day.

I understand your argument, but as a woman- her side shines through a little stronger.

I think if she were wanting to get implants so that she could have huge breasts, like size D+ then maybe I would agree with you. She just wants to go to a size B max.
As far as when you have kids- you don't have to share things like that with them. Her breasts won't be huge so you don't have to worry about them wondering. Some things aren't to be discussed with children- this would be one of them.

Don't get me wrong- I understand your concern however I have to agree with your wife.

Answer 2

Listen, I have dealt with extremely low self esteem before, I'm a woman by the way. The ONLY WAY TO OVERCOME LOW SELF ESTEEM IS TO CHANGE THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE!!!!!

There is NO way she can ever feel good about herself if she still has to live with the things she hates. I used to think I was a hideous monster, and I didn't have any surgery, but I really transformed the way I look, now I actually feel great about myself! It's hard but you can do it. Btw, I am not some shallow girl either, I am a lovely person, just not to myself.

To reiterate: She will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER be able to feel complete and good about herself unless she can feel good about her outside. It is NOT shallow!

I find it remarkably, incredibly selfish of you to be against surgery that will improve your wifes quality of life so much. Obviously you have never had to deal with any of the issues she is dealing with, or there is no way that you would oppose her trying to make her life better.

Your argument doesn't even make sense! So...improving your own circumstances and changing the negative things in your life will set a BAD example???....wtf?

You say that a psychiatrist can help your wife get over it, but they are already supporting her to get the implants!

Sure, true beauty comes from confidence, but I'd like to see YOU be confident when your own body disgusted you, and you couldn't look in the mirror without feeling depressed.

Grow the hell up and be a real husband and support your wife. You should be HELPING her get the implants.

Also, it is her choice, you don't really have any input (aside from your opinion as her partner) on what she does with her body.

Answer 3

I think there is a difference between being shallow or vain and just not being able to feel good about yourself. You wife's case is a little different than the average breast augmentation because in her mind she's not doing to get bigger breasts, just breasts. This is something that impacts her on a very mental level, and causes her quite a bit of pain. I understand that to she's beautiful, but she might never feel that way herself. Really, you're asking her to accept something that she find unacceptable.

I feel that as a couple you should at least go to an initial consultation. This doesn't mean she has to get the surgery, this just gives you more information. It would explain everything in more detail and possibly ease some of your fears. Also, for all you know maybe there are other, less-invasive options that would allow her to feel better about herself.

Answer 4

For whatever it is worth, at 56 I have had more that 30 friends get breast implants. None of those women have the same ones that they started out with, many have been punctured, burst, or encapsulated, and became hard as rocks. Some were sick of them after two years, some after four, some after 10, and several have had them replace 3 times. Repeat.... NONE of those women have had zero problems.

Frankly, tell her to love her small healthy breasts. At an A, I'd never consider it after hearing all of this about all my girl friends......What you see on TV is not what really happens.... trust me.

Answer 5

I am with your wife on this one.....

Not only is this causing the self conscience issues and self esteem issues, but she cant even get a bra to fit properly. Bras to begin with are not exactly the most comfortable piece of clothing out there and she has to buy them too small to fit the smaller breast, which I couldn't imagine doing. How would you like to buy underwear that only had room for one of your balls, leaving the other one squished? Wouldn't be too comfy and I would imagine you would be pretty darn cranky about an hour into it. Same thing is going on with the bra thing....

Too be honest-in America at least-the health insurance WOULD cover this implant surgery because it is a medical need due to the drastic size difference. I used to work at a plastic surgeons office and yes, there are those women that get them done strictly for appearances and to "just have big ta-tas" there are most of the women that get them done for very good reasons. And I feel that self esteem is a VERY Good reason to get them.

Answer 6

I used to feel like your wife, but from the other side. My breasts were WAY too big. I was a G cup. Besides the physical pain, the psychological/emotional pain was tough too. I could never wear anything pretty, nothing button down, etc... Clothes never fit right, no lingerie, all my bras were uncomfortable and ugly (they don't make bras that big pretty). I never felt right in my own skin. So, I got a reduction. My husband was very supportive, and even if he hadn't been I'd of still done it.

It seems to me like your wife has put a lot of thought into this. She doesn't want to be "porn star big," she just wants to feel normal. I sympathize with her. You should support her. Changing yourself like that isn't easy to do, and she'll need you.

Answer 7

I have breast implant, I had the same problem you had. I lost 40 lbs and lost all my boobs. I got them and now I am so much happier. I love to show them off to my husband, he loves them. Although he fought with me at first he told me it was my decision. He is right too, It is your body and if you don't feel comfortable in it, then you feel like ****. You should explain to your husband that you need to feel comfortable in your body, he doesn't understand, try to explain why and how it makes you feel. If I was you I would go bigger. I wish I would have , I was a D then lost 20lbs and am back to a C, it was nicer when I had the D cup. Good luck and I hope I helped.

Answer 8

I just had my breast augmentation 3 months ago. I'm not a kid, I'm 48! I have been as flat as asphalt , probably had a concaved -AAA's. The only time I had breasts is when I nursed and swore I'd do it till they graduated because I felt like Dolly Parton for a while.ha. I didn't want to be a Pam Anderson, I just wanted somethins'! I've been with my wonderful hubby for over twenty years and he always said he loved my chest. ...But I didn't. It plays havoc on your sex life with you don't like a part of your body touched. I'd be layin' on my back and he'd take a peek and it became sort of a game because I'd always say,"Wait till I fluff em". But seriously, I love having breasts and feeling sexy top to bottom. I no longer take the sexy lingerie gifts and stash em away. I can buy a real bra that doesn't have 3 inches of padding in it...those things get hot!!!! I have large B's to small C's. The surgery was not bad. I just shouldn't have gone to work one week later, (it's a physically demanding one) but they've healed nicely. My hubby loves em. He can touch these! Getting breast augmentation is NOT about other men like one answerer said. Geez. It's about us feeling more right about ourselves, which in turn makes a happier person. No counselor could've made me look at my chest and say it was beautiful the way it was...cuz it wasn't. I still have full feeling in my chest and nipples too, in case your'e wondering. And now they like....LOVE being touched! (E mail me if u like)

Answer 9

She wants you to subsidize her marketability. She wants more attention, and it's likely not just from you. If she says she's not sexually attractive, yet you (whom we assume is her exclusive sex partner) find that she is; wouldn't that in fact constitute a self-esteem issue on her part? So, if she claims it's not a self-esteem issue, and it's not a health issue, and you aren't complaining, then it stands to reason that someone else is complaining, or she is looking to shop around. Having larger breasts would increase her marketability. There are some studies that indicate that women who have implants are more likely to divorce. Also, current studies indicate that women with implants have a higher propensity toward suicide, substance abuse or other dependency disorders. Overall, not a good risk.

Answer 10

You need to work on your own self esteem and get some counseling before you do this. Breast implants will not make you happy, as soon as the newness wears off you will still be dealing with the same issues you have now. Also it sounds like you are fragile enough and looking for self worth that upon getting breast implants you will probably not be able to handle the new found power that they provide to you and the new attention you will have upon you from other men. Then you will most likely end up having an affair and ruin your marriage all because you wanted to get breast implants. But then I guess at that point in time you will at least have a nice set of boobs to help you attract a man, but of course it won't be one that loves you for who you are on the inside like you have already now.