I know this sounds stupid, but how do you stop loving people who you aren't around anymore? I still miss friends that I had when I was a kid. And I still love every ex of mine as much as when I was with them. It would feel a lot better if I could just stop caring about them, but I really can't. It's like every person I meet becomes permanently important to me. Is this some type of mental disorder? It’s really affecting my life, because I’m afraid to meet new people. I know that one day we’ll have to part from each other, and then I’ll have to deal with missing them the rest of my life.
2007-11-29 09:00:06 · 4 answers · asked by John K 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You don't stop loving people, not if you really loved them.
There's this wonderful story about a character going through life and when he loves someone, he tears off a little piece of his heart and trades with the other person. And so as time goes along his heart gets kinda ragged and patched looking because the other little bits don't fit exactly. And the beautiful thing is that he's joyful about it even though there was pain along the way.
My friend, the pain lets you know you're alive. If you can't hurt, you can't love either. It's just pain.
Feel the grief for each and every lost friend; let it wash over you. And then in the quiet after that, celebrate the joy of each love.
The line of your life is like a heartbeat. It goes up and down.
If it's all flat and smooth and comfortably level,
it means you're dead.
2007-11-29 09:07:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
caring and loving are two different things.
i have an ex that comes to visit me in florida with his wife. we are all friends (nothing dirty). i still love him, but in a different way than when we were living together.
a person can love alcohol, but it won't love you back.
when you get a pet, you know you are going to outlive it, but you love it anyway.
i still love friends i had in school but i'll probably never see them again.
i love people who have died. you can't stop loving them just because they're gone.
you need to stop obsessing about it. it's not good for your health.
2007-11-30 14:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by Joyce S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You miss the old life more when the new life doesn't stack up.
So if you make good friends and are emotionally secure now, your ghosts won't be as omnipresent.
2007-11-29 17:16:12 · answer #3 · answered by Truth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you "stop" loving these people, but you learn to compartmentalize the feelings. It would be a sad and boring world if we really could stop our emotions.
2007-11-29 17:09:25 · answer #4 · answered by sursumcorda 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋