He says that he isnt ready to move in yet he has to pay for school he goes to CAL State & he works part time & it pays barely the minimum. We have been married for 4 months he says to wait until next year but he plans to stay in school for that semester of winter & it seems he just keeps on posponing it. I have a really good job with a great schedule tha pays very well & im ready. I dont want to wait anymore should I tell him to choose or I will leave him?
2007-11-29 08:59:37 · 18 answers · asked by kitiok9431 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I knew that we werent going to live together until January 2008 as we both planned but he recently told me something & it just seemed like he wants to push it more far into 2008 we didnt agree on that I told him & he just said we will talk about some other time & we havent. He lives with his mom & step dad & he doesnt pay rent becuase they know that he is going to school & needs to pay for it he is not getting school loans he saves his money from work & pays for his units & classes once he is gonna go to a certain semester. I pay rent where I live he can come & live with me but we want to live with no family around us & get our own place that's why I dont move in with him either. There are other things that he just wont do & I want him to like have intercourse without a condom he doesnt want too. We are married! I will take the pill or whatever but he still refuses. He is my first Im not his first I mean why is it so hard for him. I have done alot to be with him & it seems he hasnt 4me
2007-11-29 09:34:36 · update #1
We live In LA he lives like 5-10 minutes away by freeway. & street by 15-20. not far at all.
2007-11-29 09:44:43 · update #2
If you would leave him for that, you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
Did you not discuss these plans BEFORE you got married? Surely you must have agreed that it was ok to not live together until he was done with school. If you did, then you need to follow up on that. It would be extremely unfair for you to go back on your word and get all upset about it.
I don't see anything wrong with waiting. Frankly, I don't know why you guys didn't wait until you BOTH were ready to get married and live together, but that's none of my business. If you love him, you'll be understanding and not give such ridiculous ultimatums. Your marriage will quickly go downhill in a hurry if you're so quick to leave him.
Anyway, have you guys sat down to discuss different alternatives? Can you go live with him for a while? Why can't he just move in with you and still go to school? Relationships are all about compromise.
2007-11-29 09:16:06 · answer #1 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he take you around your new parent in laws. It is possible that he is just not gathering the concept of being married. If you give him money you really need not to, see if this is something. I am curious to your situation this is a strange one. Most of the time I cant get away from mine. You could stop having intercourse with him, there is something he is using you for and I am not sure it is love. If he does not take you around his parents and you are married, tell him you are going to see them one day that he is at school. He may have more to hide that he does not want you to know. I hope this helps some. If not maybe cutting him loose is not so bad, or is it what he wants? He maybe after your bank account. I wish you luck. I hope he is not, but sounds like he has you and don't have to deal with you unless he wants to. Take charge unless you like him controlling the situation it is entirely up to you, this is your life too. It is not all about him. Time is a precious thing to waste on someone that doesn't care about how you feel. Your life.. remember that. Take notes as to your conversations to help you to remember why you are fed up. He may be double talking his way out of giving in to you.
2007-12-05 03:18:11 · answer #2 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't it be cheaper to share a place than pay for two places. Once you are married, this concept of hers and his is abandoned. You should have moved in together BEFORE you got married. How do you know you can even live with this guy? This is crazy. Get the marriage anulled, and start over again.
2007-11-29 09:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by javelin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could have good intentions in doing this. If he goes to Cal state where do u live? could he be involved with someone else? Or it could be that if he's going to school maybe he's getting some kind of assistance and another person living with him could cause that to be invalid. I would not jepordize your well paying job for this becasue obviously hes more focused on staying in school that living with his wife. I would get an anaullment asap.
2007-11-29 09:35:31 · answer #4 · answered by I Like Grapes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're willing to leave him this early on, this isn't a marriage at all. I don't know how you can't be ready to live with someone and be married to them though.
If you have a good job, wouldn't it be easier for him to live with you so you can share the bills? I think there are some details missing here.
2007-11-29 09:10:38 · answer #5 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-13 00:56:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why get married in the first place then if the two of you werent going to live together. Let him go and go live your life and find someone that wants to be with you.
2007-11-29 09:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by llexiann30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the whole story. If he is getting student loans to help pay for his schooling, that may be why he is delaying, because if you live together, YOUR income is then counted and he wouldn't get the financial assistance. IF this is not the case, then yes, by all means make him choose.
2007-11-29 09:04:01 · answer #8 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is just not ready. Why did he get married in the first place, who knows? End things now.
2007-11-29 09:03:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell him to choose or u will leave him I mean isn't married couples supposed to live together I think so if he didn't want to move in with u then why did u and him get married
2007-11-29 09:07:54 · answer #10 · answered by flickadreamergirl2007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋