She provokes me but I feel very bad and sad after hurting her through my words.
2007-11-29 08:45:41 · 11 answers · asked by anks 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
it's family.. and as much as we'd all like to think we have a functional family... we're all a little dysfunctional. In other words... you guys are normal.. and will change as you grow.
2007-11-29 08:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by pip 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We hurt the ones we love the most. If she is deliberately provoking you, there is a reason why. She might be angry, insecure, attention deprived and so on.
People that go out of there way to antagonize usually fall into one of those categories. Consider a family counseling session with her. It can help get these things out in the open with a neutral observer involved.
Agree ahead of time that anything said to the therapist stays there in the office and is not to be held over the other person's head down the road.
Lastly, remember that even if you disagree with her feelings, she cannot help how she feels. The was the biggest thing I had to learn about people.
Acknowledge the feeling, don't debate or belittle it and then try to work on a solution for it. Simply telling her she is wrong is the worst way to handle it. I am not laying this on you, I am just giving you tools to try to diffuse these situations.
Good Luck
2007-11-29 08:56:09 · answer #2 · answered by wcowell2000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to put yourself in her shoes you were young once and try to remember that you made the same mistakes and sympathize with her not get frustrated. try taking a little time to bond with her make her look up to you, you are the role model for her and if she looks up to you your advise to her she will take and use it and make less mistakes which is what you want if you really love your sister. give her a hug and tell her you love her guide her in the right direction when you both become older you will have a much stronger relationship and have each other for the rest of your lives it feels good when you have someone you can really have true love for. like a mother father sibling or child. good luck god bless and hug your baby sister
2007-11-29 08:53:12 · answer #3 · answered by joey l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Sister, you love your sister and definitely you want the best for her. Presumming she is younger to you, you can pamper her certain times of the day by genuinely appreciating her as this will help in building her trust in you much stronger. When a strong trust is build up in a relationship, then she will start seeing the true meanings in your words and they will no longer be harsh on her. She will be aware that you truly love her and you get strict with her certain times because you want the best for her. All the best.
2007-12-03 03:11:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
few tips,
whenever she does something wrong, & u start loosing ur temper,go away from her, start taking deep breaths, relax urself, attain the normal state of ur mind, & then think about the problem, when u get a solution, then sit & talk to ur sis over a cup of coffee or tea but not by the meal time......
win her confidance,& give her enough space & confidance so that she can come to u & tell u anything anytime.
By dealing with love, patience, & organised conversation u can over come this as ur sis 'll realise that u wish good for her & just love her.
remember never to loose ur cool no matter how hard the situation is.
God bless you
2007-11-29 09:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by the catalyst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like something you've probably done unknowingly for years. Are you both adults? It sounds like since you are old enough to recoginize it that you, as an adult should make the effort & be able to stop. The plus side to this would be having a better relationship with your sister. Good luck!
2007-11-29 08:52:01 · answer #6 · answered by Karebear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems it is not a good one. for someone get a mistake, you should not hurt or shout at her, beacause at the same time you and your sister get hurt or feel bad.. you should understand eachother and for you have patience to correct her and have self-control. maybe it was just first but later on you'll be practicing to accept one another's mistake. don't do untoothers what you don't like others do unto you.. do you understand it.
2007-11-29 08:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by autumn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want your sister to be perfect in everything because u love her a lot, but are you perfect in everything?
Instead try and encourage her in the fields of her interest and support her, then wait and see how strong your relationship turns, she will love you the same way that you love her!
2007-12-01 01:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by berry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some times we all have things in our familiy we regret saying to one another.. but words is somthing we cant get back -once they are spoken, they go to the heart of another, an u cant call them back... we can say i am sorry and we can forgive, but when u hammer a nail into wood and u pull the nail out later... the hole is still in the wood.. soooooo from now on. lets be careful of the words we speak to others, not just to you, but to me and the others who reads on here... we are to learn, not to go back and do the same thing over and over again... ~~~~
2007-11-29 09:09:24 · answer #9 · answered by NIK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she try to hurt you never speak to here even though what ever me the situation.... action speaks louder than words.....
2007-11-29 08:57:39 · answer #10 · answered by keep similing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋