Opinions please, adults only.?

Question

My bf knows that my sister may be bi & every time he talks about her he takes the pi$$ saying "bet she's licking pu$$y right now" etc in a mocking disrespectful way. I ask him to stop as I don't like anyone talking about my family in a disrespectful way - he continues to do it & says it's funny. I turned it round & called his sister a $lut & to see how he liked it when the shoe was on the other foot. He still thinks when he says it it's funny but if I say anything it's out of order.
What do you think & what should I say/do?

luvliste - we live like a married couple that's why. We live together & have done for the past 6 years, we are just not married.

He thinks it's justified also because "it's a fact" that she's bi & he is just stating truth. We don't even know if she is, that's not the issue. You all say he is immature - he is 40 ffs lol - too late for maturity to kick in huh?

Answer 1

I think that you should tell him again plain and simple that when he says these things about your sister it isn't only mean but it is disrespectful to you and if he doesn't stop then you should break up with him. The reason I say you should break up with him is because if he doesn't care that he is hurting your feelings or being disrespectful towards you, he never will.

Answer 2

Hi Meee. You have every right to be upset with your partner being disrespectful towards your family. He is either naive to the fact that in this day and age, gay, lesbians and bi-sexual is very common and very open. or he is just plain spiteful and lacks responsibility for other peoples feelings, IE, yours and your sisters. It is a possiblity that he is is a little bit jealouse of her, people who make fun of others are generally jealouse of what they have got and he hasn't. My wife and I have many gay and Lesbian friends and the are some of the nicest people in the world, all ways willing to help be it a shoulder to cry on or putting up a garden shed. I live in France after leaving England 7 years ago. you can watch gays and lesbians walking down the road hand in hand, no one takes any concern, it is just one of those things. I know you added in your question that your husband can not be immature because he is in his 40's, but I am sorry he has to have an element immaturity in him to behave in such away in to-days society, either that or his has a lack of understanding of different kinds of people and how they wish to live their lives. What can you do, well fighting fire with fire is not a good idea, as this will give him fuel for further comments. You have to get across to him that people have the right to live their lives as they so wish and what they do in private is entirely up to them. You also have to explain that your sister is tyour flesh and blood, what ever her decision you will support her as mush as you can and as he is your partner, he should respect your wish and stop the unfunny critisim and disrespect towards your sister, or you will take him to a gay bar and possibly leave him there for a while. But on the whole you should not let this situation get out of hand. Good Luck....David

Answer 3

He's saying that because he thinks it's funny to be disrespectful and try to get a rise out of you. In all honesty, he sounds like a jerk off. As you know, he is showing you and your family a total lack of respect.
You have to act a little angrier next time he does it, you should just snap and throw a plate or glass at the wall while yelling at him to shut the f up and to stop talking about your family that way. Let him know in no uncertain terms that you don't appreciate his lack of respect for you. Maybe you can tell him he's an a--hole, because that's a fact too.
I don't think he'll change his behavior until you do something drastic and crazy out of anger. Until then, it's just going to stay fun for him to say something to piss you off a little and then laugh it off.

Answer 4

Answer him that, since your sister is bi, there is 50% chance of that she is liking a *****, but the other 50% is that she is suck**ng a ****, but certainly not yours, so it is unnecessary to be so excited by the idea. On the other hand, what your husband says it is not so disrespectful, it is much more infantile. And you may embarass your husband if next time when you, your sister and he are together, you just mention that he is always get excited by the idea that your sister is licking a *****. I think this would be a KO for him.

Answer 5

Sorry if this offends, but part of the fault lies with you. Your bf seems to enjoy needling you and getting you all worked up. He loves to see you upset by his remarks about your sister, and so long as you keep expressing your disapproval of his behaviour he will persist in irritating you.

The one way to put an end to this is to let him know that by calling your sister a bi, and describing what she might be doing at a given point in time, he is not conveying anything new. And when the same thing gets repeated over and over it gets rather boring to the listener, no matter how funny it continues appearing to him. Frankly, I don't think he finds it half as funny as he makes it out to be. It's just his way of winding you up.

Tell him he's become a bit of a bore of late, and a bit of a boor as well.

Tell him your sister confirmed her indulgence in oral stuff with other girls, but, being bi, she occasionally does orals with men too. Tell him your sister confided that she gets more satisfaction and pleasure by herself or with other girls than with men. And that you tend to agree with her at least for the self bit. Having once said this, ignore his further taunts completely -- as if you never heard them.

This will show him that he is far from the perfect 10 he-man he tries to persuade himself he is by continually taunting you about your sister's inclinations.

Give it a shot. I think it will shut him up for a long time.

WT

Answer 6

I agree with you totally. Why would he care what she is doing and who she is doing it with? He needs to realize that you love your sister no matter what, and her sexual preference is not to be made a joke. I think you did the perfect thing by trying to put the shoe on the other foot, but like a lot of men he was oblivious to your point. If it comes to it you can just tell him that it doesn't matter what your sister is licking, because if he keeps saying things like that you know what he won't be licking, touching or doing anything with!!! Good luck.

Answer 7

If you've been w/ him for 6 years and never realized he was blatantly disrespectful to your sister and lesbians/bisexuals/homosexuals, then let this be a rude awakening.
He is totally out of line and rude.
I couldn't be with someone liek that.
Your family is your FAMILY.

Answer 8

He probably finds this secretly exciting, which is why he won't stop talking about it. Be blunt, and ask him in a level voice if his saying this is worth damaging your relationship and future together. Then wait for his answer even if it means a long silence. He should get the point.

Answer 9

luvlisteningtomusic and james are probably right.

remember respect should be a 2-way street. if you go tit-for-tat with him, then you too are being immature. can you live with it?

if the is the only major infraction, continue to talk it out. he sounds like there is some interest in a bi woman. maybe there is an adventure in the future.

Answer 10

Speak to him seriously,

tell him that derogatory coments like these are unacceptible, and in your opinion they are just as horrible as racial remarks, and sexist remarks,

tell him predjudice is never acceptible, and you will not tolerate it,

IF it continues, BREAK UP

and he will get the point,

Trust me, you don't make him stop now , he'll be teaching your kids to use the N word, and calling people Fggts
and making them think women are less important than men

Honey, he is not the man for you if he can't practice tolerance and understanding, even when he doesn't agree........


Good luck Doll

M

Answer 11

Stop playing into his little game. He sounds really immature and ignorant. What ever you do, don't sink down to his level by calling his sister names too. That is disrespectful. YOu have to be smarter than him and try being the bigger person. IF he refuses to not stop disrespecting your family, do your self a favor and get rid of him, cause if he don't respect your family I am quite sure he don't respect you.