Would you do this to me and why?

Question

Ok I am severly depressed right now.

I was with my Bipolar girlfriend for almost 5 years....Last December she left me for 2 months cuz she thought I needed to change....I was to blame for all.....she came back and I allowed her to even though she is the one who left me. We were together for about 5 more months this time and she left me again, with everything being worse this time and with her being nastier than I have ever heard or seen her. She is untreated and wild as a fireball right now. I know I can't force her to get help so please don't say that. Right now I am not supposed to contact her at all. Her friends are bad and they influence her and she is getting married to a girl she has only known 2 months and met over the internet on her phone.

I have psychological problems too but I have been getting help for the last 2 years. She knew as well as I did, it was going to be a process...and even though I changed some things and was somewhat better from the first time she left,

it still wasn't enough. But my main question is, is you were as unhappy as what she makes it seem to be she was to her 'friends', would you have came back to me the first time, when you didn't have to?

And the other thing is, is she leaded me on for the first 2 months after she left this time, and told me she still wanted me and then only a 3 weeks go by and she is rubbing the pics of her and her new girl kissing and everything else in my face as well as her 'ring' her girl got her (which my ex paid for herself) because her girlfriend does not work and moved from the other side of the state. Her whole demeanor has changed in a couple months time.

So would you have done that to me? I know I am not perfect by no means, but I am also caring and loving too. I have been through so much with her, through thick and thin, and even though sometimes we didn't see eye to eye or get along perfectly like the 'fairytale' relationship she wanted...I was still there by her side.

Can Bipolar people that are untreated still look happy in photos and stuff, even though they might not be?

P.S.- So there is no confusion, we are both girls.

Answer 1

as much as you may love your ex, i think it's time to move on. if two people were in a loving relationship and both had similar problems (ie. psychological disorders and what not), then the relationship can actually provide a positive influence/motivation for the two of you to seek help together...give each other support, etc.

you're right, you're probably not going to be able to convince your ex to get the help she needs. if she doesn't think she has a problem, she will never accept help.

you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. maybe for once, you should think about yourself and get the help you need to be a better person..move on...and perhaps find a more loving and rewarding relationship. you deserve better...and the only who can give you that is yourself. you have to take control of your own life and go towards the direction you want to head to in life.

Answer 2

You say she is bipolar. Do you know what bipolar means. Well, to break it down for you, her mental state is not at a capacity where you two will ever have a stable relationship unless she's treated. She needs meds to keep it all together. One minute yeah, she'll tell you she loves you and doesn't want anyone else and the next,she wants nothing to do with you. This is the mind of a bipolar person. So until she gets help, you need to leave her alone, if you continue to keep having dealings with her, then you will keep getting treated the way you are. You say you also have psychological problems and have been getting help for 2 yrs. She needs to go with you. Like I sd, she needs meds, and if u truly love her you'll do everything in ur power to get her some help.

Answer 3

No, I wouldn't do that because I am not bipolar.

One of my best friends is biploar so I know a thing or two. If your ex is not taking her meds,she is definetely not doing well. Her decision to marry this other girl was probably done in a stae on mania. People who are high on the mania feel on top of the world and like their decisions make perfect sense, when they don't make any sense to anyone else.

I am sorry that you are hurting, but it sounds like this is for the best. If she played with your heart the way she did and now is marrying someone she just met, it sounds like she has a lot to work out FOR HERSELF before pursuing anything further with you.

Give her room and see what happens. Those of us who are friends with bipolar people can't do much more than be supportive while they work themselves out. If she contacts you, remain friendly, but I would hesitate getting back into any kind of relationship until get gets back on her meds and sees a therapist on a semi-regular basis.

Answer 4

Yes, bipolar people can look happy at times. She probably is happy, at times. At other times she is probably a raving lunatic. She most likely goes through all of the emotional ranges, sometimes quickly.

You say she is untreated, and refuses help. There isn't much you can do. She won't be truly happy until she gets treatment which will "normalize" her feelings and emotions.

She probably doesn't even realize how poorly she is treating you. Her disorder doesn't always let her think clearly... And you are also a convenient excuse for all that is wrong in her life. You are a focus. Until she seeks help, you'll probably remain a focus. You will be much better off to avoid her at all costs, and not let her actions affect your life too harshly.

Answer 5

She is BIPOLAR, and Most lkely has other illnesses,
lke Manic, and thats whats happening,

She is not on her meds, so you can't expect her to behave NORMAL

She isn't normal

So No I wouldn't have done something like that but then again I don't have mental problems,

You don;t want us to say help her seek treatment, because you can't make her, even tho you know thats what the real issue is.

So whats left,?

Nothing, you just have to let her fall, and help her pick up the peices when that happens,

As far as the New GF, well its BS, she just wants to hurt you and make you jealous, she wouldn't do that if she didn't have feelings for you,

So there isn't much you can do except wait,

and take care of YOU,

Good luck

Keep up the good work, and keep taking your meds

It will all work itself out OK

M

Answer 6

I PERSONALLY believe that there is nothing wrong with bipolar relationships to start. Anyway I think that you are a much better person then this girl u are talking about. You should just SCREW HER and go live you're own life. It might not be easy at first, but at least in the end you can live you're own life.

P.S. To answer you're original question i would never do that to anyone! That is HORRIBLE!

Answer 7

A person who is bipolar has really high ups and downs. Therefore, when they are feeling good, they are feeling really good and vice versa.

It is possible that during her up time she felt very good about your relationship and during her down time she blamed you for her depression.

There is no way to know all of the details for sure and since you have your own issues your perspective may also be clouded.

The best thing for you to do is to let her go for good and find someone who is a bit more stable.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 8

Her being Bipolar can have alot to do with everything she is doing. I have seen them go from extremely calm one minute to "fire ball" in 10 seconds flat. Since she is not on meds, there is no telling what she will do one minute to the other. Don't take it personally, but do try to move on to calmer pastures...

Answer 9

you have spiritual problems also,perhaps you get right before god will help. Keep going to counseling get away from this girl you are both unhealthy for one another. Search your heart are you truly lesbian is she,or is this a choice you have made?

Answer 10

gross about the two of you being girls.. and I mean gross..


There are plenty of websites devoted to the chemical disoder "bipolar". read them. Know the disease. Ask yourself if you can survive it. If you cannot answer it.. then time to let it go.