I hate to chase girls, do I have a chance ever again?

Question

At 29, my days as attractive young man are all but over. I have never had serious gf's and only a couple of sexual partners. I want to settle down with someone. But I don't like to chase and pursue women for 1) I am not good at, I always come across as too eager or whatever 2) I am getting too old to play mindgames with women 3)I have low self-confindence issues

Do I have a chance ever of getting married or am I hopelessly destined to sit on my barcalounger watching History Channel by myself for the rest of my life. At this point, i don't want to play the field anymore, I just want to settle down.

Am I crazy for thinking this? Will I become another Confirmed Bachelor?

Answer 1

you have a chance but at least have some confidence man

Answer 2

First of all, you are 29, that is hardly old. And secondly, men just get more and more attractive as they age. Hasn't anyone told you that?

You are SO not alone on hating dating/bar scene and all that stuff. I've always hated it, even when I was 21. I like quiet and chill things with intelligent people, not noisy bars full of drunkards, and talking to complete strangers, who knows if we have anything in common or what (usually not).

Just do the things you like to do. If you are a history buff, go to a historical museum, stuff like that. Join groups that interest you - maybe they discuss certain hobbies - or maybe there are interesting speakers/lectures that you'd like to attend. You will meet people that way, and they'll be people you're more likely to get along with because they share your similar interests.

I didn't get married until a few mos shy of my 30th birthday, and I remember feeling a few years before that like I'd never find the right person and end up alone. Everyone assured me I would but I didn't believe them, because everyone I dated was SO far from what I wanted. It was like a sea of losers and weirdos. Then, when I least expected, and wasn't even looking, I met my husband. He was everything I'd hoped for and then some. It happens. Same thing happened to my friend. She was in a real slump, then met her guy - they got married this past summer.
Hang in there, be yourself, you will find the person for you.

Answer 3

A barcalounger? And only twenty nine? Sounds like you are already 71.

If you have self confidence problems.. go out into the community centers..and HELP others in true need . Teach some kids to play basball.. help an old woman paint her house .. but DO something other than sit around and whine.

Answer 4

You do have a chance. You sound like a nice guy and I'm sure there is a nice girl out there for you who will not play games. Too many men (and women) go looking in the wrong place for someone decent (ex. bars, clubs). I'm not saying that you can't find someone good there, but the chances are slim. If you're in a doghouse, you may find fleas and ticks.

Women love men with confidence. If you find a good woman that you like, approach her. Let her know how you feel but try not to come on too strong. Invite her on a couple of dates to get to know each other. Be clear when discussing goals and let her know you want to settle down. If your goals are too different, I suggest moving on but you can remain friends. She may know someone who is perfect for you. Don't give up, ther is someone out there who is perfect for you. She may even be right under your nose.

Answer 5

Your only 29 most guys have not even thought about marriage yet your young. I do not think you have to chase woman time to just go out and see what comes to you instead. When your not looking for love it finds you this is quite common. T

That when you are not even thinking of settling down someone will come across your path that is like destined to be with you. Do not take this litely I believe supernatural forces are involved sometimes with this like God make's some people just come together.

God Bless and Best Wishes, the next lady you meet tell her that you are tired of the dating scene and that you are looking for someone to settle down with who knows maybe that person will be your soul-mate.

Answer 6

Hey you're 29. I was single at 51 and married a year later. You need to get over the shyness. I was there, I know. Just strike up conversations. The worst that can happen is they say no. That doesn't hurt much when you get one yes! Give it a shot. There are people out there for you.. Good luck

Answer 7

You know John, we're both in the same age. I'm 28 years old and yeah, I've been single for most of my life. I've had some casual not so serious relationship. And yeah, I'm in no hurry. Look, if its gonna happen, it will happen.

Have you seriously heard about this saying, "don't go searching for love and let it find you." People tell me this all the time. If you keep on being desperate and thinking about chasing women all the time, you're gonna get even more depressed. I think it's about time we seriously give up on love and start focusing on OURSELVES. I am shy and reserved like yourself. But there are lot of issues that I need to work on myself but it doesnt mean finding a partner wont be the only one in my agenda... Life is too short, John! Live it and enjoy it.

Dont worry, I'm sure there will be one woman who will appreciate you for who you are just by being yourself. Stop looking for it and let her find you. Love will continue to elude you until IT wants to be found!!

Best of luck for both of us!

Answer 8

do you do anything in which you get out of the house and interact with people? like going to sport bars with the guys?

first think of what sort of woman you'd like to settle down with. then think of what sort of places and/or things this woman would be doing. then go seek her out at those places. if you'd like a woman who reads a lot, go sit around at a bookstore that has a lil coffee shop. if you'd like a woman who enjoys cooking, sign up for a weekly cooking class offered by weekend colleges. if you'd like a woman you is cultured, find out about art gallery openings or new exhibits at museums. and so on.

Answer 9

These days the girls do the chasing too. Become the best you can be and love yourself.