Relationships?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3.5 years come Jan. We have been living with each other for 16 months almost. He is attending a medical school in another country and I quit my job in the states as a teacher 16 months ago to come here with him. We are here for just the basic sciences portion of medical school then we'll we back in the U.S. I am getting frustrated because he has not talked about marriage or getting engaged much. Am I right for getting frustrated?

Answer 1

no give him time or your going to push him away

Answer 2

You say he hasn't talked about it much? Does that mean he has? Guys are wierd when it comes to that stuff anyways but it sounds like you two are very busy and trying to figure yourselves out professionally. I would be frustrated if I were you too but I think for me it was because I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision. (I moved to another country to date my boyfriend, leaving my family, friends, behing so I could give it a chance). And when it came down to it he did marry me, he realized what sacrifices I had to make by giving up everything I did for us. Maybe you should ask him if he wants to get married since there are some guys out there that are no interested in it. You have an idea where he is at, if you can be patient I'm sure he will pop the question when he is ready:)

Answer 3

Being medical student, he has a difficult road ahead of him. In order to become a doctor, people have to put their life on hold for years. You are right getting frustrated, but it won't get you anywhere. After he is done with med school, which is 4 years long itself, he'll be a resident for at least another 2 years, barely making any money and working 24 hours shifts. My point is, personal life may not be his priority for years to come. Try to talk to him and see what he thinks.

Answer 4

you are frustrated that your expectations aren't being met. i mean you put in all that time, all that effort, left everything behind and left the country to be with him, you ought to get something in return right?! let go of your expectations, be a little more understanding and less selfish, then see what happens. i would guess that he doesn't want to ask you to marry him until after he's done with school and has gotten a career underway. most men I've known who have gone through med school have done that.

Answer 5

He may not want to get engaged or start planning a wedding until he's back in the states and finished with school.

Answer 6

Sure. But when you are already willing to uproot yourself multiple times and change your career when you aren't married, then where is the motivation to get married for him? You already give him everything a wife would.

Answer 7

just be patient,he is working for a brighter for both of you,just take it easy,it might be frustrating but soon it will be worth the wait,your in that situation already so stick to it

Answer 8

You mentioned how "he has not talked" but a question remains for you, "Have YOU talked?"

If so, what was his responses? That is your deciding factor, what he DOES say about it. But you need to initiate communication in this if he is silent or pre-occupied.

Answer 9

you are not getting frustrated because he has not talked about marriage; you are getting frustrated because you already think you made a very very big mistake

Answer 10

Why are you in such a rush to get married? If he wants to get married, and he's discussed it before, let him ask you in his own time.

Once you're married, you will be married FOREVER...

Answer 11

This is how men think:

"Why should he MARRY you when you are giving him all of the benefits for FREE?"