I have wanted to get back with my ex girlfriend for awhile, she ended the relationship due to lack of attention and that she felt last in my life. Well for like the first 2 weeks i did the typical stupid crap, begging for one more chance I'd never do it again type stuff, calling her and texting her. Well I finally backed off and said here have your space, since then she's calling me everyday, and texting me everday. Then asks stupid ?'s like "Does me calling you lead you on into thinking we'll get back together" Then Tuesday night I said if she wanted me to approach it as it wont happen again we should take a break. Last night she still sent me a text message asking how did i do on a college exam. Today she's already called me sent me 2 e-mails, a text message saying I had e-mail after I didnt respond. Asks me another dumb ? " Would us going to lunch do the same thing as us talking everyday" All my friends think she's coming back but just being stupid about it. She's driving me insane.
2007-11-29 04:18:16 · 23 answers · asked by Advice 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As soon as I back off, she picks it up. It's like at the beginning of the break-up I felt desperate, now all of a sudden she's coming off that way. My friends believe this is the best way to get her back if its what I truly want which it is. I've told her how I feel so she knows, but she continues to shoot it down, and act like this afterwards. I think she's just in serious denial, and eventually us will happen again
2007-11-29 04:18:47 · update #1
you don't need this, just ignore her or turn her down in a polite way, get a new gf and don't allow ur ex to mess up ur life again. she's just playing thinking she's in control. stop begging her, ur just feeding her ego, nothing else
2007-11-29 04:29:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend is probably one of those people that pushes boyfriends away constantly to see how much they'll try to get her back. She probably uses that as a measure of how much you like her. If you say 'No, please let's get back together, please I can't live without you' then she feels comforted that you like her, and if you say 'Okay, see you later' then she is devistated and freaks out that her dysfunctional way of testing the waters of the relationship backfired on her and she has lost you.
Kind of complicated, but I know LOTS of people that do this. It's a form of insecurity, and trying to get security by pushing people away. It also allows that person to be the breaker-upper and not the dumped (but if it backfires, they feel dumped). Hope that helps some.
If I'm right and this is what she is going, it's probably best to just give up. Otherwise you will be breaking up everytime she feels insecure and having to chase after her all the time. People can get better with therapy, but, you know, that's a whole other can of worms.
Good luck.
2007-11-29 04:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is lonely and that what you had was better than nothing at all. If what she is doing now is driving you insane, you have to consider the possibility that this behavior might get worse in the long run. If you take her back, is this something you think you can deal with again and again?
2007-11-29 04:26:07 · answer #3 · answered by get a grip 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's just trying to maintain control of you. You need to go away and not talk to her. It's not a sign that she wants to come back to you...she just wants you to be her little pet without having to be in a relationship with you. Women do all the time...I've done to people. She like the attention you are giving her and when you back off...she tries to reel you in a little so that you'll start paying attention to her again...
2007-11-29 04:23:40 · answer #4 · answered by madges_girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that happened to me with my ex.. she did exactly the same thing, she broke up with me then would call me all the time... so after two months of her doing that (mind you she woulden't take me back), I told her enough! and told her I'm done with her.... so anyways,, after 2 weeks, I called her back, and by then it was too late... i thought I would force her to take me back, but instead I made it easier for her to truly cut me off... so months later we toally ignor eachother.. it's a shame, cause we had a blast while it lasted. I would suggest, you let her keep calling you and play it cool... everyonce in a while tell her what you are doing and maybe she will bite..
Don't blow up on her.. cause you may lose her for good like I did...
2007-11-29 04:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by Latin G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that since you said she complained of lack of attentionin the relationship, that she enjoyed having you beg her to come back. And when you let her have her space (which is not what she really wanted) she started calling you again. This kind of goes along with the saying 'you want what you can't have'.....stop calling her and answering her calls, it'll drive her nuts!
2007-11-29 04:24:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is playing a game that all women will play aat smoe time in thay life.All women need a surplus amont of attention in which no one man can provide.Now the tricky thing is they wnat what they aint got.Like how she blows you off when you make an effort and when you dont shes callin now its a circle that will continue.Start to try and learn her cycles of attention and play them according.
2007-11-29 04:27:03 · answer #7 · answered by Grim Reaper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just kiss her for like a minute, while running your fingers through her hair, up her back, her arms and her face. if she welcomes it, there you go! then after all that, just ask her "so we're on again?" if she instead backs off after you kiss her or she says no after you ask that question, then she doesn't like you but just likes fooling with your head. just forget about her. don't call her, hang up on her, delete her number and email address and all her text/email messages, and stop meeting up with her. serves her right for playing with your heart like that. if after ALL that, she finally really realises that she does love you, she'll be at your front door one day. and if it took her the effort of turning up to your front door after missed calls, texts and emails, she's worth giving another try :)
2007-11-30 17:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's playing games with you bud! You sound like the type that would be really easy to jerk around. You're like a pet toad. Poke it and watch it jump. Move on. Find someone who cares. Forget about her even as a friend!
2007-11-29 04:23:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a silly game she is playing, to me. She may just like to be chased and have your undivided attention. If you really want her back then say so and see how she reacts, but if she says no and goes distant again then drop her for good.
2007-11-29 04:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by Magpie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋