My wife will not....?

Question

be on top when we have sex.

The reason is because one day when we were having sex, I asked her if she will "ride" me. She got offended by me saying this slang term and I ended up getting blue balls that night. She then asked me if my ex "rided" me and I just got silent. To this day, she will not go on top of me. She will even joke about how she will not "ride" me.

She has had a life history of depression and is very insecure. She is on prozac right now but that doesn't help because prozac reduces her sex drive to practically zero. We are currently in marital counseling, but this is not something I want to bring up to our therapist.

I need her to "ride" me again because it is something that makes me go nuts. We have sex almost every day and we do every other position. This is something I need. I don't know if I should bring this up to her or not. Maybe I should just bring this up. It's not like asking for the back door... but I'm still scared of her response.

Answer 1

guess you should have kept your mouth shut.........

Answer 2

So her sex drive is almost zero and you have sex everyday?

Yes, if this is something you want you should bring it up to her. Not during sex, but afterwards mention that you think it would be good if she were on top sometimes and how much that would please you. She may be self-conscious about it and may not want to, but give her a chance to tell you that and explain why.

Key is to listen to what she says and to work with her on it. Don't get upset with her answers and don't try to argue with her over her feelings. Nothing is worse than having someone tell you the way you "feel" is wrong. There are no WRONG feelings. Listen to her, here her reasons and maybe ask her to see if she could give it some thought and maybe try it a little "for you".

Be willing to take no for an answer and it never hurts to ask. This is a door of communication that you both want to feel is open, it will lead to a much better sex life, whether or not she will "ride" the cowboy.

Answer 3

I think if you were to explain to her thqat it was the heat of the moment respinse and that it was just a term you have used it was not meqant to be taken as an insult what so ever. I would also explainb to her that this position is probably the best for the woman since they can get both senses working as in pressure by you thrusting in her and she can also rub her clitoris on your pubic bone. My wife loves riding me too bad so sad maybe you need to re-visit this. Tell her that you just want to give her a great orgasm and know from reading books that when a woman rides on top she gets the best orgasms and even multiples at times. Plus she is the one in control tell her she is the one in the power seat not you and you can also suck on her breast's at the same time only position you can do this.

If this does not spark an interest in her then you must bring it up in counselling.

God Bless and Best Wishes. Tell her the fun with sex is experimenting and you want to try everything with the one you love.


Just one tip though doing it everyday will start to feel like a chore and become routine and boring. A few times a month is more enjoyable and allows you to regain some juices and power for the next time and you will be more open to going for longer periods. Remember woman like to be seduced and forplay can be very erotic if you are a wham bam thankyou and it's over. Next time take your time and examine her body kiss it lick it and just caress every part of her. Remember the old "69" it is still pleasurable and great for both parties involved if she likes giving you a BJ try this next time too.

Answer 4

Make up your mind. Does she have a high sex drive or not? Sex almost every day seems like you have it pretty good. You can't have it all. If she doesn't want to "ride" you, then be happy with what you have. Most men complain that their wives won't even have sex when they say she has a low sex drive, so if she is doing it when you know she really doesn't want to, and she is switching up the positions, I think you are complaining just to complain.

Answer 5

first of all, bring it up in therapy.

secondly, you could probably get what you want if you approached it slightly differently. perhaps getting her to ride you while you're sitting on a chair or sofa. better yet, do it in a car. get her in a place and/or setting where riding you is about the only option available for sex. since you mention that she's insecure, you might want to get her to ride you backwards. with her back to you.

there's a ton of options, but the most important point is that she understands why it's so important to you, and you understand why it may not be important to her.

Answer 6

You sound rather immature and selfish. If your wife is not comfortable getting on top, than you should accept this. I sure hope you love her for more than just sex.

Did you apologize about the "ride" comment? When she asked about your ex...you remained silent...which was a resounding yes in her mind. Try and tell her how special she is and how much it would mean to you to do that with her.

If that doesn't work. Back off and get over it. Seriously. It is just one position. Be grateful you have sex everyday!

Answer 7

How can you suggest that she has no sex drive if you're having sex almost daily? I was going to suggest a different medication but I think you're confusing a lack of sex drive with not being interested in some things. When she's down to once a week then you can say she's got a lack. Get over it. Take what you can get.

Answer 8

She is probably uncomfortable with you being able to see all of her while in the act and she is probably also uncomfortable being in control. These are some major self esteem issues she needs to work out with a therapist...why don't you go talk about this together since it affects both of you?

Answer 9

If this is something you really want, you two need to discuss it like the adults you are. Bring it up in your counseling session. Maybe there's a particular reason she won't. Consider her feelings, respect her and understand that what SHE needs matters as much as what you need.

Answer 10

Well if you have sex every day you got it pretty good. So ask yourself, why can't you respect that one thing?
What is she asked you to do something you didn't like and then hounded you about it?
Sex is something that needs to be mutual. If she's not into it and you keep hounding her about it, chances are you're totally going to turn her off!

Answer 11

In the throes of passion ask her in a whisper, "Will you please get on top?" and simultaneously pull her on top of you. Do not use the term "ride" and don't make a big deal out of it. Just do it. If she asks why or hesitates, simply say, "It will feel good for both of us," and leave it at that.