For those religious ppl ttc plz be advised sort of lengthy???

Question

Im a Christian & if ure not thats fine so plz dont post rude comments i dont do it to those who aren't believers. ne way my fiance' & I have been ttc for almost 2 years. the religious part of me thinks just wait til we're married and do "it" right according 2 our Christian belief. We were thinking that maybe cuz we aren't quite married yet & just having the intentions of getting married isn't good enough. But I do stuggle w/ this because what if thats not the case?? what if there is something wrong with 1 of us that can be helped but if we wait 2 long things could be worse off; something we could have taken care of now like the possibilty of me having Edometrios 4 instance. We plan 2 tie the knot aug 08 but thats a while away & so Im just wondering about suggestions or comments from those who have stuggled w/ the same thing? Its hard to c others get blessed & dont want it or had no intentions of getting married.

Nikki ---- Nope never on birth control of any sort heart probs and blood clots run n my fam so ive always been scared to take it..but when we first began having sex I used spermicide and idk if this affects the cm

thanks 4 all the answers

Zanders--- no pun taken. it is indeed a sin to have sex outside of marriage and so I began to stress and had a lot of anexity behind losing my verginity to my fiance' b4 marriage. and it is this very reason that im torn. I shouldnt be having sex n the 1st place but since we are and no luck with ttc for 2 years it worries me. its sort of like....I know Im not suppose to be doing it, buttttt since we r whats going on?

thank u to every 1 again

Amanda R--- u say no offence but yet if feels as if ure bashing me. I already said I know its wrong and so if sin was that easy to come out of we would "just stop" since u seem to have felt so strongly u could have provided some scriptures or something to help break the sin. I cant just wake up 1 morning and say hey i just quit sinning all together. as a Christian u know Christians arn't perfect sooooo i need other advice......no offence intended

Answer 1

Well the world thinks it's ok to have sex outside marriage. I did it too. But as Christians, we know that it isn't right. While God can still bless us while we are in sin, it is not to be taken lightly. My question is, why are you trying to conceive now? Why not wait until you are married? I think you definitely need to be praying about this. It is between you, your fiance, and God. But I think you already know in your heart what is right. You just need to do it. I have not struggled with this particular issue, I wish you both the best. Why not just get married now? I think God will honor your obedience. If it is a case of wanting a big wedding, you need to decide what is more important, honoring God or waiting so you can have a big wedding. I hope I haven't been too preachy. I think you already have answered your own question. If you really want to wait until August to get married, then I would make an appointment for you and your fiance at the Dr. to find out if there is anything physically wrong with either of you. But I would stop trying to conceive (having sex) until after you are married. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

Sweetie, don't feel for one minute that you are being punished in some way. My bf and I ttc for a very long time (about 6-7 years) and after suffering a miscarriage a couple of years ago I really thought that I was being punished. About 15 years ago or so I helped my then best friend pay for an abortion and that has always been on my mind (and heart). I honestly believed that I was now paying for that and I would never have any children of my own. But then I remembered what I had been taught as a child. God does not punish us, he just sets us on our path and it's up to us how we take that path. We usually punish ourselves more than anyting. And as much as we hear this, it really is true "Things Happen for a Reason." At the time of the m/c my bf and I had actually not been getting allong too good. We had just gotten back together after a short break up. And I now firmly belive that God knew we were not ready to become parents. I knew that he would make it happen for us once we got "our act together" so to say. Well, last year my bf FINALLY, after 10 years proposed to me. We're still not married but he has improved some as far as his "bachelor behavior"---not dating other women or anything like that but just out partying w/his buddies all the time and not making time for us and our home. And what do you know? We are now expecting a little boy for Feb 2008. Things fall into place on their own, the man upstairs knows what he's doing, you just have to be patient and continue to have faith that it will happen.

It is hard to see everybody around you having kids left and right and what's worse is the ones that aren't even planning or wanting kids. It is hard. Just be strong and relax (anxiety is very bad while ttc) and enjoy your relationship. In the meantime talk to your doctor to see what your options are. You may or may not need fertility treatment. For us it was 1. me quitting my overstressing job and 2. following the ovulation calendar and 3. falling in love all over again (ha ha cheesy I know, but it made you smile didn't it?)

Congrats on the engagment and tons on baby dust your way!!

Answer 3

I know exactly what you mean. My husband and I are Messianic Jewish. We wanted a baby, but we weren't actually trying for one. (We didn't use protection, so we weren't trying to prevent it either). We kept thinking it would happen since we were having sex quite a bit. I got scared and started thinking that maybe there was something wrong with me, and I just couldn't get pregnant. We didn't want to think about that, so instead we decided that it just wasn't time yet. We decided God would know when it was best. We thought He was waiting for us to be married. (Our wedding was originally planned for June '08). We also thought it had something to do with us struggling to make ends meet. We couldn't have afforded a baby at that time, but kept saying if it happened we would find a way. We started planning the wedding---picking things out, telling people about it, etc. I got a great job as a CNA in May. My husband got a great job in tool & die in July. In August, I got pregnant! Now, I am due May 15, so we moved the wedding up, and are getting married in 12 days.

The point is, I went through the same thing, but it seems that God helped our life fall into place. Once we were on the right path, He blessed us with a child. Continue to have faith, and it will turn out okay!

Answer 4

I'm not a Christian, but I have nothing against anyone who is. To each his own. Anyway, I don't know if the two of you not being married yet would really be the case, it happens all of the time. Even to 13 year olds (which is absurd!!!). Anyway, I would get it checked out. Go to you dr. and ask. You don't want to "ignore" it and then find out something is wrong and make it so you can't have any kids at all. And not to offend in any way, I just want to make sure I understand, isn't sex before marriage supposed to be a sin? I'm seriously not trying to offend, I'm just wondering. I think that you need to go to the doctor and get everything checked out and make sure everything is OK. Good luck to you! And again, I hope I didn't offend you. **BABY*DUST**

Answer 5

To me...just the fact that you are stressing about it could have an effect on your ability to conceive. Whether your stress is based on your religious beliefs or something else, questioning everything will automatically put you in a different frame of mind. Even if you were to marry tomorrow and your religious concerns were put to rest, you could still have trouble conceiving because of other stressors or a multitude of other reasons. So my advice is to calm down, figure out exactly what you want...and stick with it. Let God make it happen naturally...whether that's now of a year from now. However I also think that being married before you start to try is a big thing. Having a baby (or being pregnant) when you get married can open a whole other can of worms and stress you out for other reasons....religion aside.

But whether you decide to continue trying or to wait....may the baby dust fairy sprinkly you generously!!!

Answer 6

I know exactly how you feel. We were married in June but tried to have a baby for a year before. In the mean time several of my friends and relatives turned up prego...one from a one night stand and two by total accident. I just thought...why is it that when two people love each other and want a baby more than anything in the world it doesn't happen? Did we do something wrong to make God mad or what?

Then there is the question is there something wrong with one of us.

I went to the doctor and he told me to start taking my Basal Temperature to find out if I am ovulating...well I didn't for a few months then I did but really late. SO....I guess what I am saying is just keep praying, go to the doctor to ease your worries. It will happen when the time is right. I have to keep telling myself this or I would cry all the time!

Good luck and lots of baby dust to you!

Answer 7

I am a christian and personally dont believe in sex before marriage, but like you said you know that its a sin so im not going to go on about it. Since you havnt concieved for 2 yrs it may be God looking out for you and your partner because a child should be brought into a stable family (married) that is only my opinion. I would also go to the doctor though and get checked out, 2 yrs is a long time not to conceive. If there are any probs hopefully you can get them sorted out before the wedding!! good luck and may God bless you!

Answer 8

I know how you feel about that! I am not real religious, I do believe and think what God intends will happen in some way! But you should talk to your dr! You may not be ovulating, that was my problem, my husband and I decided not to do the clomid that the dr suggested, we had agreed that what is meant to be will happen, but after 19 months of ttc with no luck I have called the dr back and I will start clomid this next cycle! Were you ever on birth control? Depo was what caused my problem. It messed my system all up and now I have no hormone that makes me ovulat!
Just talk to your dr and see what he/she says! I don't think it is a sin to have a baby out of wedlock! A baby is from love not marriage!!!!! Baby dust to you!!!

Answer 9

Well if you have actually been trying to get pregnant for two years then you both should be checked for fertility issues, the longer you wait to find out if you have a fertility problem the harder it may be to become pregnant.. I think you should go and get checked even though you and your fiancee are not married it is better to deal with the problem now, so if you decide to wait to get pregnant after you get married then you will know you are able to get pregnant because you have already dealt with the fertility issues if there are any.

Answer 10

Ok, first off, no offence, but if you considered yourself a christian you wouldn't even think about it. Me and my fiance were doing it, but since I knew it was wrong, we stopped. I was having problems spriitually, but after a while, I got right with it,and wanted to stop. We were only engaged eight months before we married, but we just stopped. It didn't feel right, and God forgave me. If you really are having trouble with this, just stop. It helped me out soooooooo much and on our wedding night, it was the most perfect thing ever. Why cant you wait till the child can be legitimate? My thing is, if you love the lord, you can do it. And the intentions of getting married ARENT good enough. I've been "intended" three times, and look where that got me. I'm not with them. My husband was not raised in the church, but when I decided to stop because it didn't feel right, he supported me and still wanted to marry me. Also, now that we are married and without the guilty concience, sex, my darling, is like nothing else! Listen to your heart. If it tells you to stop. Stop for your soul's sake!