I have 2 kid's from a previous marriage, their biological Dad (My ex husband) is never there for them. He hasn't seen them in over 2 months, his own problem. I am very sad for them but my new husband is the MAN role model and they love him so much. He is not taking their biological dads' place except the "role model" part he is because their biological dad is not there for them like my husband is. One is 7 one is almost 4 years old.
I just found out I'm pregnant with my 3rd child but this one will only be a half sister/half brother for my children. Which i dont care about the "HALF" part there still related. But...Since this one will have my husband as the biological father, will my other 2 kids feel worse or will they accept the baby just as well?
MY husband will not treat them differently he is very good with my kid's, and I wont let him treat my other 2 any different once this baby is here. He is very sweet, he plays with them, and takes care of all of us..
2007-11-29 02:26:47 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No one can predict the future. As long as you and your husband treat all of them with the same amount of enthusiastic love and affection and time.. they will grow up to be siblings without any of that awful "step" insidious feeling in there. It is entirely up to you and your new spouse.
2007-11-29 03:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a half brother, but I never think of him that way - we get on too well. If you treat your kids the same, there is no reason for them to feel differently, especially as the age different is so little - they will just accept that they have a new baby brother or sister. If you and your partner love all the children equally and the same, then there will be no reason for them to see the baby as anything different than a new sibling. Always be open and honest about the situation with your ex-husband, (without being negative about him infront of them) explaining that this does not make you or and especially your new partner love them less, and that you and your partner do not see them as any different from the new addition to the family.
Good luck!
2007-11-29 02:41:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We have a "mixed up" family, too! I do not mean mixed up in the sense of screwed up...LOL...I mean mixed up in the sense of my husband had 2 kids from a previous marriage, I have a daughter from a previous marriage and then we have a daughter together. SO..we are one big "mixed up" happy family. The older kids love and adore their little sister, which is their half sister, although we never use the words "half" or "step" around here. I thought we would have to deal with some animosity and jealousy since the older kids were seeing us having a child together, but we just included them in on everything and that made a huge difference from the beginning. I was able to include my daughter in on Dr. visits, sonograms and everything which made her very attached to her little sister from the get go. I know it seemsscary, but believe it or not everything just kind of falls into place. Our kids were 6, 8 and 9 when our daughter was born. Not much different than the ages of your children. They will accept the child with open arms. Just always refer to the child as their sibling. Do not use the words half and step. Ya know. We have been very cautious not to use those words. They seem to put up a wall between family members that should not be there. I hope your kids welcome their new little brother or sisters with open arms as our older kids did. I think alot depends on how the adults approach the issue. Let them see you guys happy and they will be happy. Include them in on as much as you possibly can. Make them feel a part of the entire process. They will love this baby. Good luck and Congrats!
2007-11-29 02:43:08 · answer #3 · answered by whatshername 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a good husband that treats your kids like his own. How your kids will receive the new baby is completely dependent on you and your husband. The good thing is that 1) Your kids are older, and more mature. You can reason with them and direct them towards more positive feelings towards the baby. 2) There is already two of them so they already grasped the concept of co-existing with a sibling. Here is what you can do:
1) Involve your kids with the baby, tell them about the baby's progress, show them pictures
2) Put responsibility on them, "i'm counting on you to help me take care of the baby"
3) Transition them into the role of an older sibling, to love, lead and care for their younger sibling. "you are the older brother/sister now, the baby will look to you for guidance"
4) No matter how good your hubby is, he will feel different towards the baby. That is just human nature. Allow for him to show that sometimes towards the baby. As long as your kids are not there. But remind him how important it is that he treats them all the same
A baby is great! It strengthen the bond between you and your husband, but a baby changes the dynamics of the household, however, as long as you and your husband keep a positive attitude and full the house with love and structure, your kids will have no problem.
2007-11-29 03:10:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the kids don't seem to have a problem with your current husband, then that creates a better foundation for them to accept the child. As long as the 2 of you don't make a difference in how you treat the child, then I doubt the kids will have a problem. Even though you'll have plenty to do taking care of a new baby, it will be important that you each take time to spend with the other 2 kids as just special THEM time....no baby, no distractions...just time where you can focus on them.
2007-11-29 02:33:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boys are "half" brothers as well and the subject never comes up. They are brothers and thats it. If it did come up, I would for sure put a stop to it real quick. I would explain to them that just because they have different fathers doesn't mean that they aren't bothers or anything less than brothers.
2007-11-29 02:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jay's Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a brother (we have different fathers) - we are 30 & 35 and that has NEVER come up. We are brother and sister and that's it. We were raised together and my dad was in and out of my life. It never affected how I felt about my brother or how he felt about me because my MOM made sure we loved and respected one another no matter what.
2007-11-29 03:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by That Deal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father always told me, "you can always have more then one father but you can only have one mother." He is DAD to me and i have a BROTHER and a SISTER from him and my mom, but he wasn't my biological father. Your kids will not be HALF, they will be FULL brothers and sisters because of you, so don't ever forget that. And your kids will love this 3rd child more then you ever know. God bless you, your family, and your new gift from God.
2007-11-29 02:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a different name from the rest of the family always bothered me growing up. I didn't have any "technically" full blood siblings. But I never once thought to think less of my "technically" half brothers. They are my brothers, regardless of who our fathers are.
2007-11-29 02:33:07 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it...Your older children will not know any difference until they are much older...they are going to love their new brother or sister.....BTW...I have an 11 month old with my current husband and 3 teenagers with my first husband...My older children love their little sister so much and spoil her terribly....
2007-11-29 02:33:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋