2007-11-29 02:17:00 · 36 answers · asked by Sara B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I found out after about a year of it happening. He promised it would not happen again. Then it happen over and over again. I love him and we have 2 children. I have fought tooth and nail for this marriage but, at this point I feel worthless. I have never cheated on him and never would as long as I am married.
2007-11-29 03:02:08 · update #1
take him for everyting you can.
2007-11-29 02:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by sarcastic 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Let me guess...you have children and have a Catholic morality, right...?
Well...trash it...it doesn't work staying together because of having children...it will reflect on them sooner or later and definitely change their future ways of reasoning...
If you have no children, Sara, then it appears you are OK with his cheating if having tolerated it for five years already, so why are you here seeking answers from people that do not know you or your personal life...?
If you were dumb enough to get married too young and have no means of support then it's time you decided to become independent and prepare for the worst as disastor is surely in your future...
On the other hand, if you really love this guy then you best find out what he enjoys away from home that he cannot get right at home and then you must become competitive...
It's a man's duty to go home to his wife, but it's a wife's duty to make him want to go home...
It would seem obvious then, that you are more of the problem you are living with than he is...!
It's definitely time for you two to sit down and discuss this problem and how to resolve it together or thru counciling by a professional...
I am sorry your marriage has gone sour, Sara, but running away does not change the cause, it just transfers the problem to the next person either of you tangle up with...
In other words, divorce is not always the answer, Sara...
Best wishes...
2007-11-29 02:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by farplaces 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been married 11 years so you should be at least 30 or more and you haven't learned anything about life yet. That is so sad. Here are a few facts before you decide to move on to the next man who will cheat on you and might beat you on top of it:
1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage sucks (moving in is the same as marriage)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't
lie anymore.
2007-11-29 02:47:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, your husband is a dishonest man, a liar and a cheat. So now you need to think about how much you love him and how much you love your babies.
You are very valuable to your children, so do not be foolish and do things you know you will regret. Your life has value even if his penis claims you do not , is what I am saying plainly. Penises rarely understand much about life and have only limited abilities to think if at all. A true man grows up before marriage and will not commit to marriage until his penis has caught up in maturity to his brain.
If you still want to keep him as husband after you reassess your life here and now.. you will have to find things to do which include him and the children which help the community. All of you will feel better and the family will be strengthened ..especially the children and you. Plus, the public appearance of the family is valuable to the later understanding of the children about the very serious words "self sacrifice". If you intend to stay with him no matter what.. be kind and gentle always. If anger rises up inside of you ..find wonderful ways to use the energy to help a neighbor who has a room to paint ..etc. If you have to cry.. do it privately. Children worry when they see a parent crying. Do not dissuss this terrible problem with your children. If you feel it is needed make sure they see a counselor to help them learn how to control feelings of depression related to all of this if they even know.
If you choose to let him go.. make sure you do not hate him. Life is hard enough for children of all ages to deal with responsibly without hate being the bitter spice in it. Find creative ways to use the energy of your anger without literally being angry and before you know it you will be able to look at him with perhaps even a tiny smile now and then when you see him out and about.
2007-11-29 04:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same shoes except we don't have kids. He cheated on me a year ago. You feel worthless, trapped and mad. I'm now seeking legal counsel. I can't keep dragging myself along in a marriage where he doesn't want to be. It takes time to reach that point, but when you do, nothing he says or does will stop you from making your life and your kids life a happy, secure place. My email is open if you ever want to talk.
2007-11-29 03:09:31 · answer #5 · answered by be happier own a pitbull 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there, and doing that. married for 12, he cheated for nearly 10. in the middle of a divorce right now. and i'll tell you it sucks. but i know that eventually it'll be the best thing for everyone, including our kids. even though i know that it's a matter of time before the kids start putting 2 and 2 together. but at least if and when they do, they'll know that none of this was my fault!!
it amazes me that women actually want to be with married men, trying to get them to leave their wives for them. it's sad that they don't realize that their whole relationship is based on drama, the high of if and when they'll ever get caught. once the wife is out of the picture, more often than not, their relationship never works, because that's when she does finally have him, sees him for all he REALLY is, and doesn't want anything to do with him.
2007-11-29 02:30:34 · answer #6 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if you want to make it work def. marriage counseling
If you feel that there is no forgiving his cheating than its better to walk away. Yes its going to hurt, you will cry, scream, be angry then depressed it won't be easy. In the end though you will move on there will be another tomorrow. In my opinion its always the hardest to make the first move in leaving him but after a few months you'll see that the pain you experienced for that short time will be worth it. Love yourself first and the rest will follow.
best of luck in your situation
2007-11-29 02:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends. Do you want to work it out? Does he? Is he sorry? Why did he in the 1st place. I think the very first and important thing to do is talk about it. No, not get all the details. Talk about why he did and why he felt the need to. If you feel comfortable with his answers, then you need to spend time by yo urself thinking about what you want to do and what you think is the right thing to do.
Im very sorry for the situation that you are in. Good luck.
2007-11-29 02:23:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
cheat on him to get even then divorce him and then purposely dress sexy and accidentally bump into him somewhere to show him what he wishes he still had. then find a really hot guy friend and hang out with him and flaunt all your assets in your ex-husbands face...On a serious note even if you don't do that you can never let him see your hurt.. stay strong and cry on the inside ... act like it doesnt phase you that your getting divorced... because trust me if he really cared about you getting hurt he would have never cheated on you in the first place
2007-11-29 02:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by tocrunkforu2004 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For Christs sake Sarah.......!! Move on and find another life that has room for you. This man has really done something to you, I don't understand why you tolerated it for 5 years. When he comes home tonight, and I am not kidding you when I tell you this....I would have his clothes on the porch and the doors and windows securely locked. I would probably also find an aggressive dog at the pound who liked me but would eat him alive if he came in the house. Time to end the punishment on yourself and take action to stop it. You really don't have to live this way....really!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-11-29 02:27:51 · answer #10 · answered by Ali C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
why are you even asking??? you are willing to let your husband keep insulting you by staying with him???? obviously he doesn't want to be married to you anymore or he wouldn't be cheating!!! how long have you known????? 5 years??? yes you may love him but he doesn't love you. hold your head up and walk away. brush the dust of your feet and never look back
2007-11-29 02:45:04 · answer #11 · answered by antoinette m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋