My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have two children of our own (2 and 8 months) and also have his who live with us (13 and 17) I married him full knowing we had custody of his children but I feel that now we've been married a few years, we missed the chance to build a relationship between just the two of us. His children are very dependent on his every need and I feel we have no alone time at all. He works long hours and I feel like a single mom. We no longer sleep together and I'm heart broken. I feel like I don't know who we are or who he is.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what we could do to improve our relationship? I am 28 and he is 46.
Thanks in advance.
2007-11-29 02:16:20 · 4 answers · asked by schmidtee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk it out is all i can suggest. Hire the older kids to babysit and the two of you have date night a couple of times a month. Take up golf or something together. Can the grandparents keep the kids for a couple of days; so you can have a weekend every couple of months. Good Luck
2007-11-29 02:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Indypendence 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how you are feeling. After being with my husband for 6 years (we've been married for 2 years), I've learned that if I just tell him what's bothering me, we can usually come up with a solution to fix it. It seems like your husband is working hard for you and your children; he may not realize how it's affecting you. Just talk to him. I hope things work out!
2007-11-29 10:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by vadania_2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship is too messed up.
First of all, he's too old for you.
Second of all, you NEVER get involved with a partner with young children. It ALWAYS spells disaster!!
Third of all, you made 2 more children in this messed up family!!
You need to stay in this marriage, at least, for the sake of the children. Your children are the main priority - they need their father in that house!! After that, sit down and talk to him. He's always going to be defensive about his own kids, so don't expect him to agree to your impressions. Dr. Laura says parents always feel guilt over the breakups and therefore don't parent properly because of that.
But there are more ways to get to spend time with him. Hiring a babysitter at least twice a month to get out of the house by yourselves - no reasons to break dates except for death or 911. They may try to break them, so get a committment from him beforehand. He may agree to go out, he may not.
In any event, you need to stay in the marriage and keep the family together. Call Dr. Laura.
2007-11-29 11:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by serene e 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell him how you feel. He needs to LISTEN!!!
2007-11-29 10:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋