How can i convince my parents to let me ride horses again?

Question

Well im 13, i have always loved horses, my parents
were awesome and let me take lessons at 11yrs old
every Friday. I was doing good at first, and was
really proud of myself, i even got my friend to
start riding with me. But one time, while we were
learning to sitting trot without stirrups, someone
did the one thing my instructer told us NOT to do,
(it was even on a sign on the door) They didn't knock
before entering the room and sliding the door open
spooked the horses, im told i kinda jumped off my horse
while it was bolting, but i don't really remember, i just
remember hitting the ground. Okay. so i was kinda scared after
that, they placed me with a new horse, named Kat. Kat
was a good horse so i agreed to try again. Next Friday
came along and it turns out that someone brought their
golden retriever along, the door wasn't closed properly,
the dog got in, barked at the horses, they all bolted.

Me, and 2 others fell off, now im sure i went unconcious at this time, because
i dont remember falling off. ALl i rmemeber was three horses without riders
galloping around the ring, and i think they came towards me (my friend
who stayed on turned them away from me i was told). OK. So two falls in two days
wasn't helping my confidence any. The next lesson TO MY HORROR, i asked to
go to the bathroom, I was AVOIDING the lesson on PURPOSE!! I have always
regretted that, i went from loving horses, to fearing them. The rest of the lessons
i wouldnt let go of the saddle, i held on for my dear life. I was upset, my
instructer recommended me take the class again at that level, instead of
moving up. My parents at home told me that they didnt want
to pay for it, because i wouldnt let go of the saddle, i dont blame em.
SO here i am. Two years later and desperate to ride again, i have
read probably 100 books on horses in the past 2 years (not kidding) and
i believe im ready

but how can i show that without the chance?
In fact, i HAVE been ready for a year, i understand that it was
my fault i fell off, NOT the horses now. I know how to properly ride
now, that i cant show my fear to the horse in any way. But my parents wont
let me ride again, they say that i wont let go of the saddle. Please
someone give me the answer, i desperately want to ride again, the longer
i wait, the more scared i become.

Berly: Its not me, its my parents. Its not like i can go behind their back and ride again. I need to convince them to let me ride.

Answer 1

First of all, I'd like to point out (and these are things to tell your parents) that accidents happen in any situation, and as long as you do your part to stay safe, that's all anyone can do. Thing you can do are: wear a helmet, only ride well-trained horses that are proven to be calm and gentle, keep yourself in safe situations (don't attempt things that are potentially dangerous, or ride with people who frequently take risks with their horses).

What I would suggest is to have your parents talk with your instructor, and they can voice their concerns and see what the instructor says. I have fallen off countless times, starting when I was five years old when my sister didn't tighten the cinch enough and my saddle slipped off. Getting right back on was the only choice, as there was cattle work to do and everyone else was still riding. So there was no time to think about it or be afraid. Get right back on the horse.

Personally, I think your trainer or stable is not the best. As I said before, accidents happen anywhere, but having these two things in consecutive days, and falling off both times make me think the trainer isn't matching you with the right horse, or should not allow accidents like this to happen. The sliding door should maybe be guarded by a stable employee, if this type of thing happens often. And general things like a door opening and a dog barking shouldn't result in three riders falling off, one going unconscious. I don't think a good lesson horse should spook that much from thing like that. But that's my personal opinion.

I would go to a different stable, if possible, get started on the most gentle horse possible, and then gain your confidence back. Your parents need to see that you are determined to ride, and don't use annoying tactics like crying or whining to let them know. Your attitude should be responsible, if you want them to treat you as a responsible thirteen year old. So go to them with a plan, discuss getting a trainer that they can talk to about your previous mishaps and fears, and see if you can convince them that you are ready to ride again. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

Im in the same route...and im about the same age as you. I cant go riding because of my grades. But in your case, ask your instructer and parents if private lessons would be of help. you would be alone, one on one, and the instructer could not be distracted. If your parents think the barn dosent have a good policy on keeping order, (like enforcing the NO DOG rule) then try and find another riding stable. It also sounds like the horses ther are pretty green. they shouldnt be freaking at just a sliding door. I have had the same experience as you - trust me! i was thrown from a horse at my old stable, and my mom even cries if i just lose my balance and fall. It may sound hard, but a new stable might do the trick. I did, and i have improved more in 1 year at my new stable than i have for 2.5 at the other. Ask for your parents approval to go to a new barn. I think they dont want you to ride because of the stables lack of resposibility. that was the reason my parents wouldnt let me ride. A new stable can bring a better understanding, and more awarness of what you can get in the equine world. Hope it helps - let me know how it goes!

Answer 3

Talk to them and say you are ready and want to ride again. Tell them (or remind them) that you've read a lot of books on horses and have learned a lot since you've last ridden.

I might suggest that you find a different stable...? It sounds like the horses there aren't good lesson horses. Maybe it's just I'm used to good schooled horses.

At my barn if they bolted from a dog or door opening they would be in trouble.

Answer 4

First it doesn't sound like your stable had very quiet lesson horses. The things you described should not have caused the reactions that you experienced. I would ask your parents if you could ride at a different stable would they feel more comfortable? It is true that accidents can and will happen around horses, but yours should not have. Good Luck!

Answer 5

When I was a senior in high school (year 2000), I was riding a horse named Noble. He was a beautiful dapple gray thoroughbred, about 16.3 hands. He was the kind of jumper you just didn't mess with. If you looked at the jump, he was there, and would find his distance every time.

I was preparing him for a horse show. The instructor asked me to school him on flat, and put him over a 3'9" jump a couple times just to get his mind on it, then clean his tack.

Everyone else was outside. I chose to ride inside that day, so I set up the fence and hopped on. The flat work was perfect, and he was completely relaxed so I went to pop him over the fence. As we approached, I felt like something was wrong. I pulled on the reigns, which was a bad idea because his distance was correct. Being the angel he was, he came in WAY to deep and popped the jump.

I knew I was going off. To avoid going over his head at landing, I tried an emergency dismount to the right (a nice big wall was on my left). I put my weight in my right stirrup to swing off, when the stirrup leather broke. Serves me right riding in a lesson saddle.

I fell off the horse, who proceeded to land from the jump, then jump over me to miss my broken body on the ground. I was completely uncontentious. The horse ran down the driveway and onto a 40 mile per hour road. It was over 20 minutes before anyone found me in the indoor arena, at which point I woke up.

The X-Ray's later on showed I had bruised some bones, rotated something in my hip (sorry, darn medical terms), and moved the three top vertebrae in my neck so they were crunched together. I also had a concussion.

My mother rode up through her pregnancy with me, so she knew the risks involved. The problem was similar. I would get on, but I was afraid to canter, afraid of horses who got a little quick (well, what I called quick), and would hardly jump a dinky ground pole. I didn't ride for 3 years. Prior to that, I had ridden my entire life.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. It will not come back over night. I now ride with my current instructor, had ridden with her for three years. Had to take a year off (money woes), and just got back in August. Sarah had trouble getting me over much during those previous three years. So much so that there were times where she would kick me out of the lesson (mostly to make me mad enough to try harder). I would have panic attacks on the horse, terrified to move (even to scared to get off). It was horrible knowing how far I fell (no pun intended).

Now that I'm consistently riding again, and doing so with Sarah (of whom I owe so much to), I am again jumping 2'3" with absolutely no fear what so ever, moving forward to the jump, and am ready for more.

What is my point? Your parents will understand that this is not a fear you will immediately get over. But if it is something you TRULY WANT as I did, you will find a way to make it happen. In all honesty, this issue isn't about your parents not letting you ride in my opinion. The issue is trusting yourself enough to learn that you can do it with time, patience, and an understanding instructor (and understanding horse!).

I hope this helps you. Good luck in your riding, and do not loose faith.

Answer 6

you just have to face your fears and do it. Once you get going, your fears will probably go away. Remember, everyone, including the pros, falls off. There is even a saying that says when you fall off, you have to get right back on again. (I dont know the exact words)

Answer 7

tell them that u are ready to try again and this time u will stick with it. i have never had as much trama as u(i have almost been trampled) but i think i understand. i myself am 13 and love to ride. make it clear that u realy want to do this to you parents. maybe then they will understand.

Answer 8

tell your parents all this, explain to them your fears, ask them for help....dont complain or whine, just be calm and logical...parents tend to listen when you're earnest and tell them its really important to you....my mother always told me that you have to fall off a horse 7 times before you're truly able to ride.

Answer 9

honey if it's something you "really want to do" then you just have to suck it up and put yourself out there.Go for it! Only you can overcome your fears.Explain that to your parents and they will come around -every good parent wants to see their child succeed and overcome..I'm sure they would think twice if you persuaded them too.