we ve been divorced 10 months he has a gf who has 2 kids and he sees more of them than his own. Im single mum to 3 girls and get no help or abreak im battling csa and he wont even have them at weekends claiming his financial situtaion doesnt allow for it and says he no room! He has 3 bed house and is on 32k a year! but claims povery! advice please as im mentally and physically exhausted as there hard work
2007-11-29 00:53:22 · 11 answers · asked by wendy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry you are mentally and physically exhausted. As far as the mental, stop trying to get him to take them. It is only causing you more frustration. It is a sad thing for a father to reject his kids, but you can't make him take them.In fact if that was his stance, I wouldn't want him to take them either. I would be afraid he would neglect or abuse them since he doesn't want them around.
As far as the physical exhaustion. Do you have any family that would be willing to care for them on occasion? Maybe even one weekend a month? What about his family? Would his parents like to have their grandchildren for a weekend here and there? Or your parents maybe?
2007-11-29 00:59:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu can't make him take them. Be glad that they are under your roof a lot and that you are their main source of values and morals instead of him and his new honey.
Don't make your kids feel bad for having to be home with you all the time and don't talk badly about their dad in front of them.
Part of getting a divorce means you have to step up and really be responsible for everything on your own.
If he is really skipping a lot of visitaions that are court order, go back to your attorney and try to redo the visitation schedule so that maybe your child support will increase.
Sorry that he is being a real jerk.
2007-11-29 01:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is making excuses....for some reason he doesn't want the responsibility of seeing his kids even on weekends. He sounds like a deadbeat dad to me so if you need a break from the kids you should get a friend or family member to help you out by watching them for a few hours.
2007-11-29 01:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you but you can't make him a dad if he doesn't want to be one. Do you have a relative or friend who can give you a break? If not, do fun things with your girls like the park or walks. You can't imagine how much you will learn from them just talking and laughing. It will help with the stress. You will also be building memories with them and he will end up being the loser. I'll say a prayer for you and your little angels.
2007-11-29 01:14:14 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo to "astuewoman" i could no longer have suggested it greater desirable myself. I vote her for superb answer ! i think sorry for the youngsters in all of this mess. You, your husband, the Ex and the Ex's BF all might desire to strengthen up and act like adults. when you consider that i will't direct this in the direction of each and all of the others i will assert to you ..... Act like an person that's coping with toddlers that have had no administration over each and all of the drama the adults have further into their lives. BTW - according to a number of your different questions i don't have self assurance which you and your husband are as "happy" as you mean right here. i'm no longer attempting to be mean in basic terms blunt ! you may no longer assume toddlers to act greater desirable than the person of their lives. additionally you may no longer positioned the blame entirely on the Ex spouse when you consider which you and your husband have a hand in all this drama as nicely. exchange your individual habit when you consider which you may no longer exchange anybody else's.
2016-10-18 08:26:21 · answer #5 · answered by federica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok... first things first... you should meet up with him and lay down the law
#they are his children
#you should still have a life
#a weekend to a child is very special when they have not seen their father all week.
Tell him he is not being very fair on you or the kids. and what hes saying about being in poverty is bull***t! (i cant beleive men sometimes i swear!)
Stress the fact that he is the father so he should see the kids alot... tell him they will grow away from him if they dont ever see him and they will grow to despise him as they no longer see him! the poor lil things...
i hope i have helped.
2007-11-29 01:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he pay child support? If he does that should be some help to you. If he does not want the kids to be with him, why do you want to force them on him. The kids would not get a better treatment when being there. It is better to send the kids to some family member to help you to get a break then to him who does not want them.
2007-11-29 01:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cost of taking your kids to the park = $0
Cost of playing a board game with them = $0
Cost of watching a movie with them at home = $0
Cost of wrestling on the floor and playing =$0
Cost of not spending any time with your kids while they're growing up = loneliness when you're old.
2007-11-29 01:00:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't you have a custody agreement with child support? Talk to your lawyer.
2007-11-29 01:11:48 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't make him be the dad that you want him to be......unfortunately.....you have a long road ahead, but a wonderful road too....it's going to take a lot of work to raise those girls, but you can do it!
2007-11-29 00:57:37 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋