My 18 y/o son does not want the responsibility of finishing school, or working. I told him that if he didn't go to school, then in order for him to stay at home, he would have to work full-time and pay rent. I have given him chance after chance, but he gives me nothing but excuses, excuses. We got into an argument over him quitting his job and not going to school. He became belligerent and cussing, I told him that if he didn't stop he could get his things and leave. He did leave, and did not call for a week. He ran out of places to stay evidently, so he called me to come home and get some things. When I got home he had gotten into the house and was sleeping. I told him to get his things and go back to where he was the last 7 days. Things became emotional and my son said f--- y-- bi--- to me. I told him that I was not going to be treated that way and to get out. He called to see what he needed to do to come back- I said a full-time job. what do u think?
2007-11-29 00:12:06 · 27 answers · asked by redondo 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
if he is going to come home then he needs to get a full time job and pay you rent. if he ever disrespects you like that again then you should tell him to leave and not come back for the next 3 months. he also needs to start buying his own food, he can get a small fridge to keep his food in, or he can start paying you $200 extra every month just for food. (I know how much an 18 year old can eat. make his life at home very very hard, make him want to go back to school or get his own place. he needs to learn what it is like to earn a living and have bills to pay.
2007-11-29 07:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well since he has quit school and has not intentions on going back then he needs to get a job go to a community college and get his GED and at least have something because employers now of days are not going for none of that. He also needs to apologize to you about calling you a B----. then he needs to have a plan because you home is only a temporary place until he can get himself on his feet. then you two need to say this is what happens. you made you own bed now lie in it. You were good for telling him to go back to where he was for 7 days. Or you know what else you can do... allow him to stay and send him To JOB CORPS not saying it is the best thing but it will help his little snotty attitude
2007-11-29 05:09:56 · answer #2 · answered by Leticia B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I graduated at the age of 17 but ran away a few times because of my anger and spite towards my mother. I dont know why, but I was resentful for some unknown reason and I would blackout and say things to her that I wish I hadn't ever said. Stick to your guns, he may swear to hate you for it right now but he will have to grow up sooner or later.
My parents told me they would not have a "revolving door" so the next time I left I was out, let me tell yah, now I really appreciate everything they did do for me, because when you are on your own, you don't have a choice, you have to work to survive. They pushed me towards success and made it happen even though I was defiant all the way.
I love my parents and I appreciate them so much, it took time for me to realize how much I really do need them. Great parents are a gift, not many can be so fortunate as I was.
I am sorry he called you that, you are his mother and you deserve more respect than that, but I promise someday he will come around.
2007-11-29 02:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by For my scars shall mold me 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your right in being strong with him, boys generally go through their defiant teenage years later than girls. It's a common problem. He feels that he's 18 so he's an adult and can do whatever he pleases. So in that sense you need to stay strong and don't give in, otherwise he will alsways expect you to give in, if he pushes you far enough. But aside from normal teenage rebellion, there may be an underlying cause. Possibly somthing like depression or other illness. Try talking to him and get him to open up about his feelings, or seek professional help. As scary as this sounds, and I don't mean any offense by this, but is there a possibility that he could be doing drugs? Lashing out/ mood swings, sleeping a lot, not working or going to school, complete lack of attention and lack of caring, sounds like something is going on with him, especially if this is a very sudden change in his behavior!
Best of luck! Hang in there!
2007-11-29 00:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sourkandy19 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This kid is not a kid anymore- he's a grown man who needs to get off his lazy a** and get a job, and get his own place. The next time he shows up at home, lady, call the cops on him and press charges of breaking and entering against him. Then I'd tell him he's not coming home until he straightens his life out starts acting his age. He's just taking advantage of you because you are his mom- and he needs to learn that the world doesn't owe him ANYTHING !!! Enough said.
2007-11-30 09:57:04 · answer #5 · answered by Starlight 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really a tough one. I have a 17-year-old son and I've already told him that he can stay at home as long as he wants as long as he's going to school full time and/or working full time.
I think if I were you, I would let your son come back and tell him that he has exactly 30 days to find a job or enroll in school full time.
2007-11-29 01:04:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
besides him getting a job, he needs to apoligize to you for the way he treats you. you are his mother for crying out loud and he needs to have a little more respect than that. i would tell him that if he wants to come back to your house, he get his butt back to school and finishes the year, its gotta be his last year right.? on top of school he can get a part time job to help you with bills. then have a game plan set up. After he is done graduating, he has untill september of 2008, to find a place of his own & a good paying full time job or he starts applying for colleges after christmas. Dont let him be a bum and work dead end jobs, put your foot down cause down the road he will regret it if he dosnt graduate
2007-11-29 00:24:12 · answer #7 · answered by louie 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you're absolutely right. Change the locks and don't give him a key even until he's holding down a job and behaving in a civil manner.
When I look at some of the career scroungers I unfortunately have to number among my acquaintance, I'm really pleased that you're doing so much to stop him becoming another statistic and another expensive luxury draining the nation's limited resources. Stick to your guns!
2007-11-29 00:24:44 · answer #8 · answered by who me? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In addition to a full time job and paying rent, I would give him responsibilities around the house. Don't make his food, or anything. If he wants to be independant then tell him to have at it, but you should make him as miserable as possible, he really needs to go to college. Good Luck
2007-11-29 00:56:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You were right to insist on a full time job, but make him sign a contract you draw up stipulating other things you would like to see changed in his behavior.
You could write in there that on the first occasion that he speaks to you with poor language, his right to reside there would be terminated.
Similarly, you could stipulate that if you find any drugs in his room his right to stay there would be terminated, same for finding girls in his room....
Let him actually sign the contract in from of witnesses.
Your legal obligation toward him had ended on his 18 birthday, and he must understand that.
Good luck
2007-11-29 01:30:03 · answer #10 · answered by granny.rose23 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋