My nearly 6 year old son refuses to do a poo on the toilet - we have run out of ideas - anyone been thru this?

Question

We now know the main issue is the sitting on the toilet. His wees are no prob, but asks for a nappy for poos. We've tried cold turkey no nappies but he will hold on for up to 8 days with tummy aches and then go in his undies. We've done the charts, bribes, making the toilet a fun place etc, but nothing can break through this fear. I've even tried suppositries to MAKE him go so I can pop him on and be with him so he can see it isn't scary, but he will even hang on then ! We tried being harsh and MAKING him sit on the toilet until he went but it got to3 HOURS and 9pm and he was so exhausted he had to go to bed. (and he STILL hung on).
We are now at the point where he stands up straddling the toilet with a step either side of it (facing the wall) with a nappy on, but I can't get him to SIT and do it. His Dad promised him a new motorbike (which is his ultimate dream) in desperation but even that can't push him through this issue he has. He starts school next year.
Any ideas anyone ?

Answer 1

for my son, i put a little table there with my laptop computer. He was so into the game he was playing it just happened.
once he found out how easy it was i never had a problem again

Answer 2

Not sure if you've tried this, but many children feel better about using the toilet if they can see others doing it first. It might be uncomfortable for you, but it's the best solution in this case I think.

Let him come into the bathroom with you or his Dad and keep up the conversation. When done, let him see the toilet when you flush it away. Yes, it sounds disturbing, but look at it from a child's perspective.

Also, learning about the body and digestion and the plumbing and sewage systems can work really well. You'd be amazed at the simple matter-of-fact way even young children can grasp these things.

Being harsh isn't going to work, it will only strengthen his fears. He needs to understand the toilet and everything that goes with it before he is going to trust it.

Answer 3

Just wondering whether he is worried about falling down the toilet and being flushed away! My boys would scream the house down if I pulled the bath plug out before they had got out of the bath and it took me ages to find out why - funny when I did, but I'm a cruel dad!

If he does have u-bend-aphobia then creating a smaller insert for the seat might work that he can sit on and know that he won't fall through - you might even want to try it away from the toilet and see if he can fall through in a safe - non-flushable environemnt. Once he knows he can;t fall through he might be more willing to try it on the proper toilet.

Another tip - stop fretting about the whole thing. When he goes to school there will be smaller toilets anyway and other kids will become role models for him to copy.

Answer 4

I would try not to make a big deal out of it, that way he feels pressured into it.
See if you can get story books about it, maybe when your are going to the toilet tel him your going for a poo (sounds silly i know), maybe get a separate potty, this way it doesn't look so intimidating....get him involved take him shopping for a new potty...'to go poo in', take him shopping for new pants too!

If he does do a poo in the toilet really praise him, and instead of telling him off for not pooing in the toilet, try completely ignoring it....this way he isn't getting any attention at all!!!
If any of those suggestions still don't work, your doctor can always help!!

Also dont keep on at him that 'everyone else does it' , or this will really lower his self-esteem and then he wont feel like he wants to do anything, you need to boost his self-esteem so hes confident!!!!

I hope this helps tho...and I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 5

All you can do is really encourage him to go, let him know how cool and how proud you would be if he went, kids want to feel special and get love from there parents, even if you made jokes when you get out of the toilet yourself like letting him know that you did it in the toilet yourself so that he knows tis is a normal thing that everyone does! If you ever get him to go on the toilet give him loads of praise, good luck! :0)

Answer 6

Explaining that big boys who go to school use the toilet - especially if you can get him all excited about starting school. Explain that none of the other big boys at school will be wearing nappies because they poop in the toilet.

Answer 7

oh yeah! my son had also this same problem. now he is 8 years old.but he is ok now.
one thing,just do every morning to used. leave him alone. if he understand,how important to do this,explain to him. otherwise don't fose him. mendaly he could be shy or fear.give fruits, more water.
try onething, give full cup of water to drink every morning. it may hard to drink but,give it. and let him to go toilet after 15minutes.

Answer 8

Ugh.. Tell him that what he is doing is shameful and ugly. When he goes in his pants, spank him.

If he goes for a week without pooping, take him to the hospital a few times for a suppository. That might cure him of it.

Don't bribe him. Don't make him sit there forever either. If he messes in his pants, swat his legs. Don't make it a battle.

Answer 9

Consider consulting a child psychologist, but not any old child psychologist. Your pediatrician should be able to reccomend one who is particularly skilled in this area.

Answer 10

The best thing would be to take him to a child psycologist to find out why he does that. Once they find out why they can suggest a solution.