How to forget and forgive cheating.?

Question

Can some one give me an (Serious) advice on forgetting a cheating incidents and forgiving a close one who has cheated. I am trying to forget but some how I am not able to take things off from mind. I think unless I forget I may not forgive.
Thanks in advance

Thanks a lot to everyone.

Answer 1

It is very easy and simple.Take it easy and always try to be with time and busy schedule in work where you will not get any time to think and act.

Answer 2

The saying is.." Forgive and forget " in that order because, let's face it, if you forget then there would be nothing you knew of to forgive.
Seriously..it just is not that simple. The first thing you have to do is to accept that this thing has happened and that no amount of ranting or tears will undo it. There is a high probability that it can never be satisfactorily explained, either.at least not to the person who was cheated on. The second thing you have to face up to is that if you want the relationship to continue then you must let the past be in the past; this is hard to do and many people never manage..but then,many relationships eventually break down under these circumstances. Forgiveness comes in time and of its own accord.all you can do is to stop blaming and be willing to forgive; the trust part is just as hard but it has to be dealt with...you have got to trust each other again and hope that you are not getting things wrong by doing so; do not go looking for problems unless you want to create some and if your trust is broken a second time then and only then should you allow the past to influence your decisions.
In time you will think about what happened less, unless you keep it in your thoughts intentionally...I do not think that we ever really forget..that would require some sort of amnesia...but we do reach the point where we might remember a thing so rarely that it has no power over us any more.
Whatever your relationship is, and however it has been damaged, ask yourself where you want it to be tomorrow, if you want it still to exist tomorrow..and then do the best that you can today to avoid whatever the wrong outcome would be for you. Tomorrow,do the same..and the very best of luck to you in your efforts.

Answer 3

Here are the blunt statistics on "cheating"; nearly 80% of men and women cheat in a relationship or marriage today. Men are only slightly ahead of women by about 8%.

You can let this continue to bug you and it will drive you crazy and end up seperating from your significant other or you can put the incident behind you and go on. If you want to keep the relationship and you love the person then you have to forgive and go on...you have to forget it too.

Remember this with the statistics where they are you could be the one doing the cheating just as easily and don't say, "No, I would never do that!" I guarentee you if the right person and the right opportunity arrose you most likely would.

Blunt facts and if more of the people writing on here would realize this there would be far fewer break-ups of relationships.

Answer 4

A couple of websites may prove helpful in you healing so that you are in the right state of mind to forgive. All I know is I was able to forgive when I knew he had shown me that he was truly remorseful, loved me and was in much pain over it all.

Now the forgetting - you can't really forget something that has made such an impact in your life; it will always be there but it will be part of the past; not the present and future. Try replacing the negative thoughts and images that will and do pop into your head with pleasant, positive thoughts - Also, writing down your feelings on paper helps to get those thoughts out; you are hurt; you are angry and you need some place to get all that out.

Be patient with yourself, it will up and down; a real roller coaster ride; good moments and bad moments until you heal from the impact. It may take months or even years, but it will get better and better until the cheating is a dim memory.

Answer 5

I do not think that you will forget ... it will be something that you remember for as long as your mind is active, particularly if it is a very traumatic experience. Just as you would not forget something wonderful that has happened to you, you probably won't forget something that hurts you either.

The last statement that you made is false. Forgiveness is not a matter of convenience, where you simply don't remember the offense or situation and move on with your life. Forgiveness is acknowledging the offense, and finding it within yourself to choose to devote yourself to the situation in spite of the pain. Forgive and forget ... or forget and forgive, is a concept that has many, many flaws. It is not based on truth.

The answer to this is acceptance, which is very difficult, but possible. You must accept the fact that cheating has occurred, and accept the situation, and choose to devote and dedicate yourself to Love. This is forgiveness, and forgiveness comes strongest from the soul.

Hope this helps you. It will take some time and a great deal of effort, as all relationships do. My prayers are with you.

Earl

Answer 6

You can forgive but never forget. Time will ease your sadness and pain and you will be happy again. You should also grow up and deal with it. Here are some facts of life you obviously have not learned yet:

1. There is no Santa
2. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
3. Marriage sucks (moving in is the same as marriage)
4. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
5. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want honest answers from a man that doesn't
lie anymore.

Answer 7

Ssd,
Without knowing more details about the incident or how frequently you get in touch with this person, only this much can be said. it is not specific, but a generic advice.
You have to first fogive the person for the incident. HAVE TO. Then, you will forget it automatically. What prevents you from forgetting it is the hurt you feel when you think the person cheated you. So, you need to first remove the hurt. For that you have to forgive. It is difficult, but not impossible.
All the best.

Answer 8

I think your a very strong person for trying to forget, and forgive cheating. Its very, very hard thing to do.

First make sure the other person is really sorry.

And then all you can do is try to rebuild the trust. And the best way to do this, is to face it. Let the other person go out, and if you call 100 times the first night, fine... but the second night hopefully it will be down to 50. And then less, and less until it gets easier and easier. Also try to keep yourself busy while there doing this.

If you dont trust them, it wont work. So to me thats the best way to forgive and forget.

Answer 9

Begin by forgiving yourself - it is your conscience that prevents you moving on so you must start there. Second, write out all of the issues that bother you concerning the cheating. Write in a letter a list of sentences beginning 'I forgive you for....' and end the letter with 'I write this letter to you so that you know what it is that I have forgotten and also those things I will not tolerate in the future. I do this with love.' then give your partner the letter.

Answer 10

First forgive ...... with love and your soul into forgiving. That's the only thing you could do.

Forget.... you will never forget this cheating. It's impossible to forget.

It's better this way - Forgive but don't Forget.

Answer 11

I've been in your shoes, and i can tell you 3 yrs later i still haven't forgotten BUT i have forgiven. It's still affects the trust i have about him while he's out. I looked at myself really hard and and talked to him about it. (before we were married i swore up and down you cheat i leave) I won't lie its not easy and you will feel hurt for a while but if you think they are being honest about what happened and feel it won't be a continual problem then take baby steps in getting back on solid ground. Its been a 3 + yr process for us. I still love him to death and worry on occasion but I have forgiven him ( it hasn't been mentioned in a fight for over 2 yrs :) ).