I'm so lost - my recent dating history has been an embarrassing mess of misunderstood messages from men. They'll do and say all the things that make me think they want to get to know me, but it seems the moment I respond they act like they just took a wrong turniing in a bad neighbourhood.
Don't get me wrong - I have plenty of admirers and I'm known for being a hard nut to crack (such an elegant phrase...), but I can't seem to convert any of these admirers into relationships! If men say "You turned me down but my door is always open", or "You're really hard to leave, I had such a great time", or "I feel so good when I'm around you, you engage me fully", that's got to be a positive sign, no?
It seems I can't win - if I ask them directly if they want to get to know me, they act affronted. If I don't, I end up making a fool of myself.
What's going on? They aren't commitmentphobes, in that they've all had long-term relationships. What am I doing wrong? What should I do right?
2007-11-28 21:46:00 · 6 answers · asked by pendinas2004 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm most certainly not a booty call dresser! Lol! People are usually telling me to show off what I've got more often...
Edge? Mmm, who can say? I do show a low tolerance for being messed around, that's true (and I mean that in an attitude sense, not a one-time mistake sense). But then men who don't mess me around don't ever see that!
2007-11-28 22:04:45 · update #1
Maki - contact you? Er.....why?
2007-11-28 22:22:49 · update #2
Thanks Robere, nice thoughts! I'm wary, though, of drifting into denial, telling myself the problem is 'out there', when in fact I'm behaving in a way that will bring predictable results. As ever , the common denominator is me, so maybe I'm getting the vibrational match I 'deserve'. Arggggh! I'm operating in a data vacuum here...
2007-11-28 22:37:04 · update #3
Hmm. A contact has just suggested it's because they all put me on a pedestal. Yeesh, that matches something one of them said one time. Anyone want to see my feet of clay? They should be at eye level if I'm really up there....
2007-11-28 22:50:31 · update #4
Ha ha, I'm the most unemotional thinker and direct talker you'll find. It's my job... I'm not your usual woman. Dang, there's my problem. Should have been a man. I'd have been feted for my style and be surrounded by adoring women....
They aren't scoring, either, by the way!
But thank you all for your answers, they've certainly given me something to think about.
2007-11-30 22:59:30 · update #5
Sweetie. Its the other way around. Guys think in mostly a linear logical way. (im not calling women illlogical at all) Women are more of an emotional thinker.
Women are usually the ones sending out the clues that she is interested in a guy and he should come talk to her. Most of the times guys totally miss the signals.
Make sure you are straight with the guys. Put up your BS detector so you get some butt hole who is telling you everything you want to hear so he can score.
Im sure you will find the right guy. Stand your ground until you find the perfect guy. I heard this statement a couple of years ago and i still love it. "The princess will have to kiss a lot of frogs until she finds HER prince." Remember the person may be a price but is he your prince charming?
2007-11-30 06:45:31 · answer #1 · answered by Scott 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame yourself for the in-adequateness of others. Stay confident and continue to be yourself. Consider those whom have not made the cut (so to speak) as not having been a good vibrational match. Thus saving you precious time and maybe even a little pain.
These types of droughts happens to the best of us us. Then...one day...before you know it, not only will your nut have been cracked...it will be totally smashed.
The main thing is to stay focused and keep your standards high. Re-access your goals and continue on a path that is good for your over-all well being.
Relax and enjoy your life. You'll be fine.
2007-11-28 22:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be the way you dress, the places you go to meet guys, or just the type of guys you pick.
When a guy looks at a woman, he only has one of two things in mind. She is either booty call material, or she is girlfriend material. Just make sure that you always keep that in mind. You will start to recognize the ones that re just looking for the booty call after awhile. It just takes a bit of practice.
2007-11-28 21:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a hard nut to crack, then maybe you should add the word "but" after the statements made to you by those men. Yes, you probably were charming, etc..... 'but' sensitive men will pick up on that Edge in you and will also be cautious.
2007-11-28 21:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Sergio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You hit the nail at the head with " scared of dedication". This is an excessively traditional purpose guys act like that. Another purpose a person could act this fashion is since so much guys like a chase. The desire what they cant have and commonly while they have got it, they abuse that reality ( I have her so I dont have got to check out anymore). Whichever purpose is the case, you must depart him by myself. First, since it seems like you are lookin for a dating and you want any one who will desire to be with you up to you wanna be with them. Second, since it offers him a style of his possess remedy... Beware even though, while you depart him by myself he'll almost always come again, you must stand your flooring and transfer on. When you uncover that specific any one, the person your handling now will detect what he would have had, and what could by no means be his now....
2016-09-05 16:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact me
2007-11-28 22:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by maki" The time begins Now 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋