When we have youth functions, she wants to be the star of the show, and will not allow others to speak, or ask questions. She has almost a dictator style, and will not yeild to the Holy Spirit. the youth are bored with her style and lose interest.
Please, Dont answer with any Hateful, or degrading remarks.
2007-11-28 18:56:03 · 15 answers · asked by julie s 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Dear Julie S,
Without knowing either of your personalities i wanted to give you advice that is biblically sound.
First the Bible tells us that when we have an issue with another brother or sister we should confront them one-to-one. However, i think the book of Timothy gives us some wisdom on this topic.
When it comes to correcting those who are older we should appeal to them as older brothers/sisters who are supposed to be examples. I would appeal to her as the Pastor's wife (first that you ladies share the same heart to help the youth grow). And secondly, that you have some feedback that may help and encourage her-- maybe ask her some questions about how she feels the youth functions are going.
As a youth Pastor myself i can tell you that youth are not the easiest group to work with- and it does require some degree of flexibility. She may be doing her best - but just not know how to connect with the youth. Your comments about her style does not necessarily mean she's not "yielding to the Holy Spirit" (so you need to be a bit careful to be so harsh-- unless there is a specific event or proof that i'm missing). i think the idea is not to change her- but to allow God to change her- and that's easier done through encouragement than through just offering your personal critique.
i can tell you as a Pastor that there are times when congregation members do not understand everything.
She should as a leader have a heart that is responsive to suggestions to improve the church.
I would try that first, and if the two of you can't ressolve the issue between yourselves, than i might involve the Pastor.
If you'd like to share more specifics i can kindly offer you more advice and will definitely pray.
Don't lose tract of the big picture. The Big picture is building God's kingdom together, maintaining unity in the Holy Spirit, and in this case the Spiritual growth of the kids. You two not getting along will show itself in bitterness, gossip, etc. A thought is: How you disagree is sometimes more important than what you disagree about. Sin should be corrected - individual preferences should be worked out with grace and love in Christ.
Hope that helps.
Nickster
2007-11-28 19:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by Nickster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should approach her, nicely of course. tell her how you feel, explain that you or others have great ideas, too and that you would like a opportunity to share your ideas and to help with planning and other youth functions. I can not see any reasonable person who is approached in a respectable manor being inconsiderate of your feelings, and if there are more then one who feel that way, I think she would step aside and share the "star of the show".
2007-11-28 19:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by shawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about having the youths take turns being an assistant leader. She wants to be the star, but if someone else is an assistant, she would bow out, or make herself into a fool.
2007-11-28 19:00:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
with caution.
Truly, truly I say unto you, unless ye be borne of water (water sack) and of the spirit, (the holy spirit coming in and renewing you and cleansing you) you can not enter the Kingdom of God.
That just kinda slipped out. don't know why.
But really, I think you should do nothing but wait on the Lord.
When the time is right, if you have had her in prayer, God will give you a peaceable thing to say that will cut through everything like a double edged sword.
Basically, what I'm saying is that many may give you scriptures to quote to your sister in the Lord.
God will give you his living and active word.
The letter kills.
The spirit gives life.
Gypsy Priest
2007-11-28 18:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsy Priest 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Discuss it with the preacher and let him tell her lol.
I think it's difficult to tell people things like that and difficult to change them.
Suggest a more interactive group.
ps- I don't think this is a god issue as much as a social personality one...
She is putting her opinions and voice before that of others-not before Gods..she just sounds like she doesn't know how to be social.
I wouldn't bring up the part about her going before god to her or anyone else-as it makes you sound egotistical and a bit self self rightious...just let him or her know you'd think a more interactive atmosphere would be advantagious to the others
2007-11-28 19:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before the show starts, walk right up to her and tell her that there are many people here who have the right to speak and ask questions. Please yield the floor to others who want to speak. If she does not cooperate simply break into her ramblings and take over, then share with others.
2007-11-28 18:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are an adult, speak with the preacher or other church leader. If you are a child, speak with an adult and ask them to go with you to the preacher.
2007-11-28 19:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by mesquiteskeetr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the bible says to speak to the elders of the church, meaning the deacons or preacher and tell them how u feel that it is making u not want to listen... then he will tell her kindly and not speak ur name if in fact the preacher is true
2007-11-28 19:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by Psychologist In The House 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly enough she''s only human. Just pray for her. What would you want someone to say to you?? God asks us to love one another and not to judge one another. And this is said in the most loving of ways, pick at your own plank before you pick at hers.
2007-11-28 19:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by ~ luv sis 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it doesnt matter if she puts herself before god shes still human and not superior and if she does put herself before god and you confront her wont she be happy becoz god encourages HONESTY just tell the truth it should be fine
2007-11-28 19:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by Celestina W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋