Why is it so many people say personality is what they want in a partner but...?

Question

in real life it seems like looks is everything?
There is the well known saying 'Nice guys come last' and I am not just saying this about women, but men too, I see women watching good looking guys just like men do with good looking women.
At work there is a guy who all the women fancy, he is a good looking chap, he gets women asking him out all the time even without knowing what he is like as a person.
I have heard recently men and women see someone and say 'Phwoar they would get it'. People don't say that about nice personality.

I know so many guys who are a really nice people but maybe not all that good looking but they good sense of humour, intelligent, good personality and they are all single.

I recently went out for a few drinks and a game of pool with a mate who is a very good looking guy and the amount of looks he got and two girls came over to him to ask if he was going on to a club later, etc - it is just the total opposite of what so many people say.

What is the reality?

Answer 1

You said it yourself right there, 'personality is what they want in a PARTNER' these examples you gave are people just wanting sex or at least thats what they are driven by. The problem is that it is hard to get to know a persons personality if they don't talk to you, like your friends, do they actually talk to girls and let them get to know them. Sure some shallow girls won't give them the time of day because they aren't "fit" but any normal girl is willing to talk to you if you just go up to them and start a conversation and don't act like a total creep. Take it from an average looking guy that hasn't had trouble getting girls, you just have to talk and be yourself (as long as you are actually interesting and funny, which many people are when they are relaxed and themselves) and its not that difficult. The problem is that its hard to find the right place or time to meet someone that you can actually have a relationship with, going out to a bar or club isn't exactly the best place, its more a chance thing. Like your friend kows a friend and when you meet them you hit it off, or just some random conversation on the internet about something you have in common. Thats how I met my girlfriend, 'oh you go to the same uni too, thats cool.' and we've been together for nearly two years since then. Its all a matter of chance, looks has nothing to do with meeting your partner, its all about being confident in yourself and taking chances.

Answer 2

Society focuses on appearances, but common people don't so much. There are a lot of people in this world, so when it seems like they only go for the good looking, somewhere else someone not as good looking but with a hell of a personality is getting a date. Just cause you don't see the whole picture at once, doesn't mean parts of it don't exist.

Answer 3

Looks are everything until a person realises that a relationship doesn't work on just looks alone. The initial attraction is often to do with how you look and present yourself but you soon learn that good looking people are very high maintenance. By the time you get to my age you start to realise that you have to get to know a person before you can judge their worth. I have dated a lot of attractive women including a Chinese actress and a Japanese model but as I said they are very high maintenance and a pain to please. Relationships based on looks soon fizzle out as no one can be passive enough to survive a partner with a huge ego.

Answer 4

yes there are so many people disillusioned with life and it is sad i have three grown up sons and a daughter and have told them never judge a book by its cover just because it looks good doesn't really say it is good my first marriage was to a girl with blond hair blue eyes i thought how lucky i was to have girl like this whilst away she was playing around married for the second time i am with a woman now 26 years later so happy with my life maybe not the blond i wanted as a kid but by i would not exchanger her for all the tea in china Dave

Answer 5

personally, I do watch good looking guys but as soon as an intelligent guy with a sweet personality opens his mouth, I forget the shallow pretty boy. All girls are different, but I definitely want a nice guy!!!!! I'm gonna need a good husband someday, not an abercrombie model.

Keep it up! pretty boys will attract fairly shallow girls. Get all those people out of the way and the really good ones are left over. good luck!!

Answer 6

There has to be an initial attraction in a setting like a club. It is the getting to know someone that makes them more attractive to you. I would suggest that you look in other places for ladies that share your interests. Try joing clubs and organizations that interests you. Once someone gets to know you, they tend to look beyond the outward appearance. That is true especially when they are looking for a permanent mate.

Answer 7

Good looks attract one person to another yes but if that person hasn't got a personality to match then that detracts. As you say personality alone is not what attracts someone of the opposite sex. To many people with good looks firstly attract someone , but if they don't have the personality then their allure diminishes. this is why so many say personality is tops, I hope I haven't confused you..

Answer 8

different people different perception;
Personality do matter but the thing is that wht u want;
1.u want personality(so that he can cheat on u as u r saying that good looking persons everywhere meets girls)
2.u want honesty(so that there is one person who might be personlity wise ok but he is honest and he is not cheating)

Answer 9

its a bs statement! thats what it is!