I dated a girl fro few weeks and when i asked her to be my girlfriend she said that she is not looking for a relationship just for "friends with benefits". We are basicly together all the time, and everything like a b/f and g/f why cant we just be a couple?
2007-11-28 17:59:41 · 45 answers · asked by bond007rr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
friends with benefits means absolutely nothing to me. and it should mean nothing to you as well. you should have enough respect for yourself to find someone who has respect for you. friends with benefits is not the way to go
2007-11-28 18:03:06 · answer #1 · answered by K 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well this is the age old question. Generally that kind of response means they are 1 - really being honest and they have the capability of being in this kind of relationship or 2 - they like your company but don't have serious feelings for you and are happy with just having good company without the hassle of a real relationship.
The question you have to ask yourself is, each day you are in the relationship, does your heart become more and more involved? If so then you should consider backing away from it. The thing about "friends with benefits" is usually SOMEONE ends up getting hurt in the long run. Sounds like in this case it might end up being you so you have to weigh the risk versus the reward and let that guide your final decision.
You could also see how serious she is about you by letting her know one time (perhaps if she asks you to go out) that you have a date with someone else. Her reaction might dictate how she really feels about you and she could just be scared to get involved.
In the end, the BEST thing you can do is communicate and don't add any extra pressure. If you are not fulfilled you can not blame her, she is being honest with you. You will just have to weigh all the options and be fair and considerate.
Good luck!
2007-11-28 18:08:39 · answer #2 · answered by heybrent 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable with the set up Then this is not the girl for you Friends with benefits is risky You never know what the friend with benefits will bring home Could be a dvd wine or a gourmet meal Or it could be a std Acourding to Cdc Stds are on the rise You deserve the best so find it She does not sound ready
2007-11-28 18:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by chameleon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well its something you should really think about for yourself. Do you want to be a "friends with benefits" type with a girl you want in a relationship? If it was me, i wouldnt want to be friends with benefits with a girl i want to be my gf. or the other way around. I wouldnt want a gf out of a girl thats friends with benefits. If you really do want her to be your gf then maybe you should bring it back up again and let her really know. If she still says no then its your decision to make. In the end though, you should do what you want to do, deep down and not just do things because you have the chance and might regret it later. Hope i helped a little in this tough decision.
2007-11-28 18:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by CrxK20 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, firstly, if she has already told you straight out that she doesn't want to be your one and only, that is something you will have to accept because you won't be able to change her mind. Friends with benefits, in my opinion, is not a good idea. It means sleeping together whenever one of you gets the urge. The problem with that is, it's all too easy for deep feelings to develope for one of the friends...it is, after all, sharing your bodies in the most intimate way.
2007-11-28 18:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by Dana C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she wont be a couple than get rid of her. As someone who has bin in your position it can only end badly because there is nothing stopping her from dating a guy. If all she wants is a friend with benefits than all she rile wants it to be able to have a fall back person. Don't settle for that, find someone who deserves you, not someone who just wants to use you. Sorry your in this position it sucks, good luck.
2007-11-28 18:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by A_Girl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I would call it a couple. A couple is not something you become overnight, you build it, little by little. So if you act like a couple, call it what you want, but you are a couple.
Even if she doesn't call it by its name, if you're together all the time and are intimate... I'd say you're in a serious relationship.
Sometimes it may take longer for the people to acknowledge facts... let the time pass, and continue to build your relationship in the meantime.
2007-11-28 18:12:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lory 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see no problem in a friends-with-benefits relationship if both parties accept it. Only when one party pretends it is a more significant relationship (usually to gain access to those benefits) does it become a problem.
She has made it clear that she is not prepared to offer more now. Decide if you want to accept the arrangement she offers. If so, enjoy. If not, tell her it is unacceptable and that you are moving on.
No tears. No regrets.
2007-11-28 18:10:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's not yet ready to commit and be in a relationship. She wants to be safe and she's just being careful. Maybe she has not gotten through a bad experience from her ex-bf, so you should also understand that part. Don't give up, maybe in time you will be a couple..you just have to wait. It's just like what boys do to girls when they are so afraid of commitments. As of the moment, appreciate what you have..at least you get to hang out with her...than never! aight?
2007-11-28 18:04:59 · answer #9 · answered by alexynne 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, its not something you should accept. By "friends with benefits," she either means that she wants to hide the relationship, or be wanting multiple relationships, being a "dater." Or both. You can do better.
2007-11-28 18:06:29 · answer #10 · answered by Mikel.007 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your a nice/sensative man(which is good). It also sounds like she isn't into relationships and it doesn't seem like your into that. I trully think that if u want a relationship and she's not willing 2 give u that then it would b in yr best interest 2 leave her alone all together,bcause yr getting too involved. When u spend all yr time with a person & trully in yr heart want it 2 work, but that's not wat they want,then yr setting yrself up 4 failure!! don't hurt yrslf or allow her 2 hurt u either!! goodluck
p.s. Don't leave her till after x-mas though,who wants 2 b alone 4 the holidays. but don't spend alot on her present either...lol..lol..lol!! guard yr heart & don't b used!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! peace and blessings,agape always,QUEEN
2007-11-28 18:15:28 · answer #11 · answered by RITESPIRIT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋