What does it mean when he cries?

Question

So... my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend have not had a steady relationship. It's always off and on. I have trust issues because he cheated on me in the past. We both acknowledge that we love each other.

He tells me he loves me all the time, but sometimes he does stuff that makes me think otherwise. When he does I get mad and say stuff about how he doesn't really love me.

So, anyway, last week we had two "discussions". He had given me a ring (not an engagement ring, just a ring; he gave it to me a month ago) and I tried to give it back to him the other night. He got really teary-eyed. Then we started talking about the way we feel about each other and he started crying... like tears rolling down his face type of crying. And he told me that it hurts when I question his love, etc.

Same thing happened a couple of days later. We've decided on a break, but it's difficult for both of us. So, what do you think? Was he honestly crying? Or could it have been an act?

Answer 1

Okay. Say you went out and spent a month's salary on a gift for someone you care about. You picked it out especially for them, because you know them and you think they'd like it. And they do. They love it. They take it...

Now say a month later, in an arguement, that person tries to give that thing back, saying it obviously doesn't mean anything since you were fighting. All that time and effort and hard-earned money you put into getting that gift for that person you cared about... and they toss it away. Wouldn't that hurt? I tell you it would make you feel like pond scum.

So in other words, yes, he was honestly crying. And yes, that hurts like hell to have done to you. You may not be right for each other, but a guy doesn't get a girl a ring unless he believes he cares about her. It may be that your personality types are incompatible, but that doesn't mean he can't sincerely believe he loves you.

Now guys show people how they love them through their actions. If his actions make you question, tell him quite simply, "When you do this, I feel like you don't love me." Don't toss his ring back at him right away because he's done something stupid. Half the time guys have no idea that they've done something wrong.

Now after awhile of calmly telling him when he does something that bothers you, and politely asking him to stop (no nagging, no arguing, no yelling, no giving back gifts), if he continues to behave in ways that upset you, then you can give the ring back. And once you do, don't let him give it back to you. It's better in that case that he give it to someone else, because you deserve better than a person who won't compromise when you will.

Answer 2

He could be sincere, but to me it just seems like you can't have a real relationship without trust. Because he had broken that trust, and you can't get passed it, you guys shouldn't be together. It would be different if you guys made an agreement that he had learned his lesson and he to move on, but when deciding to work on things, you can't bring up the past. Its up to you whether you forgive him, and personally, I wouldnt. Trust me, once a cheater alwasy a cheater. You may feel that he's the only one for you, but there is someone out there that will value your love and commitment and not throw it away for 5 seconds of pleasure.

Answer 3

Thats hard..... It kinda reminds me of my ex and myself.... Ya know he did the same to me.... Now that we have been broken up for a year.... after a 3 year relationship, I look back and think everything he ever said to me was a lie & fake. My sister is engaged to his brother so it makes it difficult to ever be completely out of one anothers lives... I watch him treat his now recent girlfriend with all the love and respect in the world. Kind of upsets me. I can't really say i'm completely over him because he crosses my mind daily. Which I don't understand. It sounds like your in a tough one though. I wish you the best of luck an I hope the two of you can work things out if it's really meant to be!

Answer 4

You need to get to know him better. Talk more about real stuff when you spend time together. Seriously...

I think you hurt him. The ring is not a meaningless material possession he gave to you for fun....if it was he wouldn't react the way he did.

Answer 5

I have to tell you whe it comes to man iss sssssssoooo HARD to figure them out. To be honest with they are great ACTORS..However you did break up with him ? Right ? Well Now you will see how much you mean to him. When a man wants something Nothing Gets in their WAY... He will chase you.**THEY LOVE A CHALLENGE !!** we all do. So see how much he will do to get you back. Eventually you will figure out what his all about. DONT EVER DOUBT UR GUTS... and Follow your first instics..TRUST ME... We have that intuition that can guide us...

Answer 6

I have never seen a man cry that way unless he was truly upset. I don't think he was faking, but I suppose it's possible. What was your gut reaction when you saw him start crying? Were you thinking, "OMG, I can't believe he's crying!" or was it more like, "Oh please. Drop the act." Go with your gut.

Answer 7

it was a act causehe knows how to push your buttoms cause you
let him break it off with as soon as you can. don,t let him play you
although their is feelings between the two of you. he still could be playing you

Answer 8

If the women I was dating looked like you and we had a break, I would cry all the time myself!!! By the way, are you looking???

Answer 9

Tell him to grow up and quit being a wimp. If he really wanted to do right by you, he would. He doesn't, so obviously he doesn't care enough to bother.

Answer 10

Sounds fake to me. Forget him