What do you think of my poem????????

Question

Negative Remedy
Dark demon of decadence, what curse to you bring today,
burnt posies rotten inside, a disease covered with clay?
An old bear of childhood, now decomposing in display,
Butterflies bleeding their way out, an adolescent with a gun to play?

Perhaps it's dark chocolate tainted with your dismay,
poisonous in prime, a refection of the love you paid.
Your words are villainous, an ogre of speech,
you destroy and set ablaze, burn the evidence of betrayel and keep only what you wish to teach

Your presence we are graced with, shouts and cries of the accused,
you stab with your 8 foot tounge, relinquished are the abused.
your words are evanescent, haunting to the extreme,
they smash and slice, wicked are your dreams.

An aura of horror do you employ, broken hymen of error, an excuse of your abuse,
Erase the hope of those who wish to see, these are your curses of negative remedy

LOLO omg your responses are too funny. Ok I feel the need to address some issues but first. Although poems should have different definitions to people, to me this poem is about a person who caused nothing but unhappiness and hurts her friends {what curse do you bring today: the whole beginning is about metaphorical(?) things that she does to us. Negative Remedy: The end explains how she brings only distress}. Ok now I feel the need to say this lol 1) I am not on drugs nor have I ever taken any. 2) Ms English professor, did you get your degree at the university of dumb? The poem is called negative remedy, meaning that what a certain person does is hurting everyone. it's not about fining a remedy. Seriously, what school did you go to, cause I certainly would never go there. 3)I am not in jail nor have I ever got in trouble for any type of violence lol. 4) I was not abused as a child, nor is this about sexual abuse.

O and I forgot to add, I do not like horror lol. The poem expresses horrifically what a peson does to her friends.

Answer 1

early on: wow it's goth, I don't like goth. ugh.
then: writer loves horror, I don't like horror, why bother with it?
then: it's written well.
last paragraph: wow I feel sad suddenly, that is so sad. extremely descriptive and written very well.
So....it is effective. Keep writing and see where else it takes you.

Answer 2

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not always have got to rhyme but it surely demands to hit my feelings. I consider readability of expression is foremost as good. I do not love to moment bet what I'm studying approximately. I continually appear for what I time period "poetic gemstones"within the textual content.

Answer 3

Great description in this piece. Over all I would rate it a eight out of ten. You use good references to things and concepts everyone can understand and relate to. I find that you put deep meaning into your poem, which draws me in. From the first line you had me hooked, great way to start of the piece.

Keep writing!!

Answer 4

Were you sexually abused as a child? I think this is a good form of poety, yet it's disturbing in the sense that there is a Negative Remedy that hurts us all.

Answer 5

Oh please, "Goth" is so 20 years ago....

It lacks, well, the actual "Remedy". WHere is the remedy that contains the resolution? Either a different title or add a stanza with the "Remedy". Otherwise poem is incomplete, prose but no poetry.

Answer 6

Wow, your poem sounds alot like my style of writing. Great job

Answer 7

Wow this is really good! To me it talks abou what teens fafe in the world now days..... You should have this published!! I have sevral poems published!! Grea job!!!

Answer 8

Good for someone who is already in jail. If not give me your address.

Answer 9

still thinking of halloween.....lol you sound like you got some 8 ft issues.

Answer 10

I like it