I just want a few more answers please!
It's in reference to how I feel. I grew up in a home not being used to men being compassionate or caring and he is very patient with me. Even though, I have accused him of cheating he still sticks by me regardless of that. I was even to a pt. in which I told him that I really didn't deserve him, bc I have been damaged to much by my past. My family was very strict on me being around males and it's to the pt. that I really don't trust them. We are currently in a LDR. We were talking on IM and he said this. Please interpret this. My feelings won't be hurt. I keep trying to let him go bc I feel that I am too stressful but he always excuses my behavior. This is what he said..
"you dont burden me. just dont be hurt by me. id rather not talk to you if i hurt you. if something happened here i dont want to hurt you. if something happened with you i wouldnt want it to be a bad thing either. most imporant is the foundation our friendship is based upon.
2007-11-28 16:11:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My boyfreind(a very loveable and nice person) was so scared of dating me because he was done wrong by his ex who he practically cherished. He put up with her so much and all she did was physically, mentally, and verbally abuse him. He was scared with me because it was a strange feeling because I never did that, and he was used to being the one getting hurt. But he gave me a chance and here we are now, 2 and a half yearls later and planning on marriage. There's going to be confusion, but you need to understand that you're not a bad person and he isn't either. You tneed to trust him, he's not the other men that hurt you, and you won't know what you have till it's gone(cinderella sings a song "Don't knwo whatchya got till it's gone, you should listen to it).
He's trying to say that He feels like he hurt you and he doesn't want to keep hurting you. More or less that if you don't want him arounnd because it hurts, he'll stop being around you, he Doesn't want to hurt you, he wants to love you.
I would also say that it seems like you might want to talk to a therapist to help you out a bit, you may have alot of unresolved feelings that they can help you get rid of.
But Goodluck and I hope this helps!
2007-11-28 16:26:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking whether or not you should leave him, the answer is no.
I too, grew up in a home where males dominated and I was treated extremely poorly.
My older brother beat me up to the point where I'd have broken bones, and my mother and father would lie to my school, saying I was sick. They refused to get my medical attention as well.
My father was also physically and mentally abusive. On top of that he's an alcoholic with many issues.
You can see I know where you're coming from. It's hard to open up but you may not ever come across someone like him again who's willing to work with you and who loves you for you.
I swear, and promise, you will get through this. My best advice would be to seek professional help. I know it seems like an easy answer but it will help more than you know! You can even bring your boyfriend with you. Or, you can have private sessions and group sessions (with him) to build a better foundation for your relationship.
What is going on isn't fair to him, but the fact that he still wants to stick by you shows that he truly cares for you which is SO important. He's willing to look past the negative and focus on the positive. These are the types of people you need in your life - positive people - like this guy.
I really hope you seek some help and talk to someone about this. There is no such thing as too late. And trust me, you will never get over it fully (just like physical scars don't disappear), but it can only get better!
Try letting this guy know how much you appreciate him - and maybe, as hard as it may be... just give him a big hug and hold him.
That's my advice. I hope this helps.
~Maia
2007-11-28 16:20:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
decide for it!! believe me i want we had ladies ask adult males at my college we've 3 Banquets a 365 days no longer dances banquets. we can't dance and that i individually go with to invite this boy to bypass to homecoming with me in February yet i'm scared simply by fact he has went with MY SISTER the final 2 circumstances yet she does not like him plus he's a senior and that i'm a rookies! woman you will possibly desire to do it! believe me you haven't any longer have been given something to lose! if he says no so o nicely and stroll faraway from it. there'll continually be a greater desirable guy obtainable for the jerk who grew to become you all the way down in the beginning!
2016-10-18 08:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by kosmoski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your just trying to push this guy to his limits to how much he will go through for you, you have this guy jumping through hoops. I think your sabotaging this relationship to prove that he will leave, you already anticipate him leaving you, you have no faith or trust in this man, and the poor man is trying so hard. Your creating the demise of this relationhip and you know it, you need therapy, not a poor guy to leash your irrational tests on him, your pushing him to the limits just top see how far you can go. if he isnt doing anything to hurt you, than what are you thinking. get help.
2007-11-28 16:20:47 · answer #4 · answered by jen w 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you have a good guy. Be glad you've found one who is willing to stick by you despite your issues with trust, and one who is so patient. Those men don't come around often.
2007-11-28 16:18:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he wants to continue the relationship and your happiness is paramount ---- i would suggest he is genuine and wants to see how for this relationship goes --- he is also trying to reassure you he is not like all the other males in your life ---- if you want to be with him open up to him and embrace his caring i wont say he will never hurt you --- what i will say is he will not hurt you intentionally ---- best wishes to you both
2007-11-28 16:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by trader1867 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is just explaining that he would never do something intentionally to hurt you in any way and if he somehow did hurt you he would blame himself forever
keep this guy he seems very sweet
2007-11-28 16:16:21 · answer #7 · answered by Lord Tanner 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people whom you treated very bad are the one who treated you nicely as the best as she/he can. And, I do believe that nice guy is always finish last.
2007-11-28 16:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by hottstuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, he's a keeper. If you dont want him pass him my way............You need to hold on tight girl, I've never met a man like that. He is working with you, so dont ruin it by pushing him away.
2007-11-28 16:18:07 · answer #9 · answered by Sis 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋