I want to be comforting and not 'sorry' about the situation if he in fact has autism. Any ideas on how I can be understanding and not sound like I'm pitying her or him?
2007-11-28 16:01:58 · 10 answers · asked by j_abril 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
First of all- RESEARCH. Learn all you can about Autism and all the different variations of the disorder. There is a very large spectrum regarding this diagnosis and every child is unique...
Secondly... Don't "be sorry" , just understanding and supportive...trust me she'll need it. Raising an autistic child is challenging, but Sooo rewarding.
Once you do some research you will understand how to understand
All the best to her, her child and you as her friend
Autistic children are very different from the rest~ the world to them is so completely different than the way we view it. In fact EVERYTHING is analyzed uniquely in their minds... Understanding and patience are the best attributes we can contribute to these children/ future adults
2007-11-28 16:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by busymum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure i can help with what TO say, but i can give you a few hints on what NOT to say! My eldest son has a speech delay and a few people have said pretty inconsiderate things to me over the years....not because they were trying to be rude, but just because they wanted me to see the 'positive side' or just because they didn't know what else to say!
Don't ever say 'you're lucky that your child has autism because.......' If you don't know what it's like to have a child who is autistic (which i'm assuming you don't), then just don't compare. I get that an awful lot 'you're lucky your son doesn't speak, once they start they never stop' or 'he can't talk back to you'. I'm sure there are equivalent statements for a child with autism.
Don't say anything like 'he makes up for his lack of intelligence/mental state/problems by being physically fit/able/whatever' Her son isn't stupid.
I would probably steer clear of the 'you should be lucky that you can have children, many people in the world cannot' line as well.
Sorry if i'm stating the obvious lol, but you'd be surprised how many people don't get it!
I guess you should just try and be there for her, you don't need to provide solutions, or try and make her feel better about the situation....you probably cant anyway.
2007-11-28 16:18:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs Doyle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her - if you're an experienced Internet user and she isn't, maybe you could offer to help find her an online support group? And also, do tell her that you're worried about saying the wrong thing and you hope she will let you know if you do! I'm expert at putting my foot in my mouth, and if I have to say something and I'm not sure how to say it, I try to tell people that first. It makes it a bit less awkward if it comes out wrong.
2007-11-29 00:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 14 yr old daughter has it among other things, she has been on medicine , going to counseling and is in a group therapy program with other kids like her and is doing well. Find a good doctor, and do alot of research. It seems as though some people are just now taking it seriously.
2007-11-28 17:15:32 · answer #4 · answered by summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you're there for her. That if she needs to talk to someone, you're there. Offer to help out with errands, stuff around the house or even watching her son for a bit so she can rest. Looking after an autistic child can be very mentally & physically exhausting. They require a lot more care & supervision that a typical child.
2007-11-28 16:14:58 · answer #5 · answered by Janey 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pretend you don't realize it. She will feel more fit in that way. If she tells you say that's cool and act the way you did before she told you
2016-05-29 11:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be positive and uplifting about it. Tell her they have so much research going on about this and you can get a ton of free help through the school district in the area even if they are younger than the typical school age. You can do some more research on it to find things to help and encourage her.
2007-11-28 16:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by nanners454 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be uplifting alot of autistic kids can function but they dont understand much about feeling like alot of the time they'll say stuff without realizing that it can hurt someones feelings. some dont like to be touched or held either and something small and simple like wearing red socks or whatever can be a BIG deal for them.
2007-11-28 17:15:40 · answer #8 · answered by ~::JAEL::~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to let her know that you're there if she needs to talk about it - and then be willing to just sit and listen if/when she wants to talk.
2007-11-28 16:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by daa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you will always be there for her. That's all you need to say.
2007-11-28 16:58:55 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋