My dad is constantly bossing my kids around. I am on vacation in his house for the next 4 weeks and he jumps in every time I try to discipline the kids and he snaps at them for no reason.
I tried defending them last time because he wanted to punish them for going outside even though I had told them they could. He got mad at me because I disrespected him in front of the kids and he felt I was unfair to him.
I can't just up and leave. I need to resolve this. Any ideas?
My children are 12, 10, and 7. I am married, my husband is away at work during this time so he can't help. When he is here my parents don't act like this.
2007-11-28 15:52:30 · 9 answers · asked by Jenn 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It seems you may need to sit down with your dad and tell him how you feel. You need to tell him that him stepping in on your parenting is unnaceptable and that you do not like it. Also, if your children are breaking any rules he sas set for the time you will be in his home, you should have a talk with them as well. Ask him to talk to you the next time there is an issue with the children rather than trying to discipline them. Ask him to point out the issue and that you wil deal with it.
Good luck.
2007-11-28 15:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by AMBER L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just tell him to stop jumping in. They're your children, it's up to you to discipline him, and he needs to realise that what he is doing is disrespectful to you.
Remind him firmly (but nicely!) that he is the children's grandfather, and while you're around you are the parent, therefore the disciplinarian, not him. Ask him to please come to you if he has any concerns about your children's behaviour, rather than jumping straight in with the kids, and let him know that he is undermining your authority with the children if he interferes after you've already told them they can or can't do something.
I live with my dad too, I'm his carer, but he doesn't discipline my children. He respects that I'm the parent, and I respect that it's his home too, and we get along fine most of the time, so it can be done!
Have a serious talk to your dad and lay it all out for him, he needs to stop treating you like a child in front of your children. Good luck, hope that helps.
2007-11-29 00:19:23 · answer #2 · answered by ♥♥Mum to Superkids Baby on board♥♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you understand that he's trying to help (he may actually think he's helping) but that you are their parent to the children and that he should just sit back and relax about it all.
Or another scenario is that he may be angry that you are there, and are snapping at the children in an attempt to get you to leave earlier rather then in a month. Either way you need to sit down and talk to him about it.
2007-11-29 00:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how bad it is over there but lets get one thing clear: you CAN just up and leave. Its great to have grandparents doing some patenting, they know allot of things we don't, but if you think he is being abusive in any way, you need to remove your kids from the situation. And he needs to know that you are the one who says what is ok. Its going to be hard to communicate you being in control by being subtle, or going through your husband. I think you are going to have to sit down with him directly, and he might not get it. Are you worried that he might physically stop you from leaving? Would you rather not spend the cash on a hotel, or drive all the way home, or are you afraid of spoiling the holliday?
2007-11-29 10:26:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pull him aside and tell him to but out. He is not the father of your children and he doesnt put food in their mouths or clothes on their back so he doesnt have a say! Your children, your life not his!
2007-11-29 00:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like I tell the teenagers, if you do notr want to abide by his rules, dont live with your parents. If you can't leave, as you say, you will have to abide by the rules till you can.
2007-11-30 12:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by sugarpie2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to him like you need his help and say that you are worried they don't respect you, because he gets on to them, or say that you feel they may be getting angry with him.
2007-11-28 23:57:09 · answer #7 · answered by Devils's Advocate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what i think i would do is just simply talk to your father and explain to him that although he is their grandfather that you are their mom and that he needs to respect that you are the one raising them
2007-11-29 00:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by wesv6589 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ask your husband to talk to your dad.
maybe he'll hear it coming from him.
2007-11-29 00:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by S.T. 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋