How do I deal with a over-controlling mother of my girlfriend?

Question

Me and my gf have been dating for 5 months now. We both are 17. She is the youngest child of her mother, and her mom doesn't hardly let her do anything. Rarely, when my gf is allowed to do something, her mom calls her every 5 minutes. She also checks up on her, driving by the place we say we are supposed to be, to actually see if we are there. She is RARELY ever allowed to come over to my house, and my parents are upset because they hardly know her. Almost everytime she asks to come over here, her mom says no and to come over there. So i usually go over there, and her mom watches us 24/7. I dont really get any quality time with my gf, and i feel like its drawing us apart. Her mom also takes her cell phone every night at 10. My gf is really busy, she attends a private school, and has dance every day. She almost always has homework, and when she rarely doesnt, she asks her mom if she can come over and she says no. I feel like i am being taken advantage of, what can i do?

For example, earlier my gf needed help with some chemistry problems. No one in her family knew how to do them, so she asked if she could come over here so I could help her. Her mom said no and that I had to go over there. My gf got ready to come pick me up, cuz i didnt feel like driving, and her mom told her i had to drive myself over. I said no because this, to me, is her trying to take advantage of me. I was going to help her daughter with her hw, but she expects ME to go over there and she expects ME to drive there. What can I do?

Answer 1

I'm 17 too.
My boyfriend is 18.

I'm currently in a similar situation as yours but I have been dating him for 7 months now.

The thing is,
it's all about time.

Her mom is worried that something might happen to her,
losing virginity, pregnancy, all that shizz.
And she's also worried that you're not serious about her daughter.

I mean, of course you think that her mom is waaaayyy too protective over her,
but have you seen it from her mom's perspective?
Your girlfriend's in private school.
Obviously, she's highly guarded.

And, let's admit it here,
you DO have intentions of touching her and cuddling up with her and doing all sorts of things with her right?
Of course the mom would freak,
moms have overimaginative minds.

Trust me,
it's all about time.
I know it sounds long but just, be there for like, 10 more months.
Be there for your girlfriend,
and plan that your girlfriend invites you for dinner and all those stuff.
Help her mom make dinner,
talk to her mom,
get to know her mom.

Let her mom trust you.

And don't ever, ever let your girlfriend's grades drop because of this.
If she needs to study,
let her.
Her mom would be proud of her,
and discard you as someone who would ruin her daughter's future.

Just let her mom know you and the road will open.

Best of luck!

Answer 2

You can't do anything other than humbly ask for respect when her mom insults you. She will keep wispering in her daugter's ears how disrespectuf you are and how bad you are and so on. remember, she spends way more time with your GF than you do.

The other sad way of dealing witj it is telling it ALL to your GF and saying you will not date her until you feel you're respected for what you are. That will put your GF in a very uncomfortable place. But you will do her a HUGE favor in the long run.
Your relationship is (almost) doomed either way, i'm very sorry to say it but it is. (Just take a look at my questions if you want to know what follows. I have one of those over protective moms. I was suma kum laude at a big deal kind of school and a dancer too.)

You might want to talk with her mom. Politely and respectfully, one on one. It will give you a better chance at explaining yourself that you're serious kid and don't mean just toying around. She will like this. I promise. One of my datyes did it and we ended up marrying each other (for better or worse, but that's another topic)

your gf is a serious and a dedicated kid, try to hold on to her

Here is the link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsFUx.z7BoS6b0N3ynO26DDty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071120042900AAv6jm4

Answer 3

have ur paretns meet hers or talk to her mom just the 2 of you no one else around maybe when ur gf is at dance stop by and see her during her break. ask her mom if you can pick her up from dance on a friday and take her out to it its a big trust issure by botth the mom and the daughter flowers

Answer 4

Have your parents go to her house and get to know your g/f and her mom until her mom is comfortable with your g/f being at your house with your parents chaperoning you.
Otherwise her mom is smart for doing this,and all you have to do is read about all the unwed teenage pregnant mothers on here to understand where your g/f's mom is coming from son.

Answer 5

just be respectful of the mother, you break up with this girl and regret it, than your so not going to have second chance with mom, you dont want things to get weird with family members, believe me, remember, she will be 18 in a year.

Answer 6

You should have more respect for your girlfriend's mother and realize that you are 17, and that is a grown woman you are discussing. Her mother is looking out for her daughter, and you should show more respect. I'm sorry - but this is her daughter first...

Answer 7

LMAO dude lots of luck on that one, had a similar problem, so i have to DONT get caught doing anything at all lol

Answer 8

well homie its cuz she dont want to let go i mean thats her baby and your taking her away so her mom will be like that