My fiance, whom I dated for 4 years, and bought an apartment for broke up with me in June stating that she needed to find herself. I was absolutely DEVASTATED, I honestly though we had a great relationship, after we broke up she became a different person. We tried to stay friends during the summer, but she got EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE with it and pretty much canceled every plan we had last minute. I didn;t talk to her from September through the beginning of November, last week she called me in the middle of the night and told me that she missed me more than anything and she was so sorry for what she did. I talked to her twice during the week and she was so friendly. We exchanged holiday greetings on Thrursday and then I noticed that she was getting very snippy with me again for NO REASON and has now cut off all contact again. I have no idea why she is doing this, I need advice!!
2007-11-28 14:59:14 · 18 answers · asked by Jennaba9048 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have got to ask her. At first I would say that she was out on a fling that went bad. Maybe it got better again, or maybe she remembered why she broke up with you.
If she was your fiance and you can't ask her this question you have no business thinking about getting married. It only gets harder after you say "I DO"pp
2007-11-28 15:05:07 · answer #1 · answered by ttpawpaw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gut instinct on this says she met someone else, and that is why she broke things off in the first place. Her cancelling plans with you at the last minute was probably because the other guy called her up with offers to see him instead. I'm guessing that when the other relationship got rocky she came running back to you...but when things got better with the other guy she cut you off again. Sorry, but that's what I think is happening. (Been in your shoes before.) Even if it isn't though, you deserve to be with someone that isn't going to play games with your head or your heart.
Hard as it will be, you've got to take the rose-colored glasses off and take a look at the true colors this gal is showing you. If you can bring yourself to do it, next time she calls you up, kindly explain that you are now in the process of finding YOURSELF and don't care to hear from her for awhile...then set your own time frame, 3 months, 6 months, a year, whatever. In that time get out and live your life, meet new people. And after those 3 months, 6 months, or a year, see if YOU still want her back. You may decide by then that she wasn't the great thing you thought she was. Just a suggestion.
2007-11-28 15:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by HomeGrown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arg! Hold in there girl....it sounds like you picked the right man. Imagine if you had married your old fiance and he got bored with you after only 2 years! He'd be out calling old girlfriends. (grrr!) You know the situation a lot better than I do of course; but I would be very suspicious and very unlikely to even talk to him again. He thought being engaged to you was a mistake (I'm assuming) and now he thinks being married to this other woman is a mistake. He sounds like he's a pretty confused dude. Don't let him cloud your judgement. Don't believe that romantic crap that they show in the movies. You may have multiple true loves over your life time...multiple soul mates. Best of luck to you
2016-05-26 07:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't know what she wants, be the better person and just tell her how it should be: You don't want to associate with a woman who would come into your life then back out of it as quick as a yo-yo, it shows she has no consideration for your feelings. It's only going to make things more complicated, and it'll make it harder to heal from all of the emotional damage if you try to continue a friendship with her...separation is hard, believe me I know, but sometimes it's the best thing for healing a broken heart, because you wont have a friend that'll be a constant reminder of love lost.
2007-11-28 15:08:57 · answer #4 · answered by Лизочка 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she has some kind of mental problem. She probably is wanting help but not wanting to admit it.
What is her handwriting like? Does it look smooth and even, or does it look as uneven and changeable as her personality?
It is hard to judge what her true feelings are, as I'm no psychiatrist. If she doesn't get help, this is likely to get worse.
I would stay with her only if she seeks a psych assessment and possibly treatment. Otherwise, she will continue doing what she's been doing, and you don't deserve to have to live on an emotional roller-coaster because she won't seek treatment.
Marriage is all about commitment, and she doesn't sound like she's prepared to commit to you yet.
2007-11-28 15:11:29 · answer #5 · answered by Chantal G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she is a loser and obviously has no concept or idea of the emotional rollercoaster she causes for others. Perhaps she was between relationships and needed someone to make her feel good. You never really know with selfish, uncaring people. You sound very nice, aren't there any other nice girls around?
2007-11-28 15:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by banger_sisster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This might be hard....for you to do.....BUT, it might be wise if you do so. "Let her go." Unless of course, you want to be the mouse being played with in a game that is complicated, controlling, and unpleasant. for what ever reason....it was'nt meant to be, and someone once said...."you can't drive forward, if your'e looking in the rear vision mirror".
I think you might find someone else who will love you, for who you really are. if this girl truely loved you, there would"nt be all this mind controlling game, would'nt you say, you deserve better than this? let her go, don't look back on what was, look forward, and you never know what might be around the next corner!
2007-11-28 15:08:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, this will sound very strange..but hear me out, ok? She loves you but is terrified to love you. You must know her issues after so many years...it can creep up at the damnest times. You have to let her go. You have to for both of your sakes or she will never learn. I bet she is beautiful...striking in fact. No, I am not her..sorry..but I know what to do in such a situation.
2007-11-28 15:03:53 · answer #8 · answered by CherryCheri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's unstable...stay away from her or you're going to be hurt badly...AGAIN! You need to move on with your life, and remember why this girl became an EX...Move forward and don't look back, because you will only see pain and heartache in the rear view mirror
2007-11-28 15:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lunatic. I got rid of one myself just recently. She can't be helped. Just chill out about it, and if she wants to honestly make amends, then so be it. But really, if you put forth the effort to move on, then you'll REALLY see where she stands. Right now she thinks you're gonna keep waiting for her, so she'll keep playing games.
Moving on is a decision you'll have to make on your own though.
2007-11-28 15:04:28 · answer #10 · answered by coriafanforlife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋