I'm 23, she's 17, we met a couple of years ago, through my work, we lost touch, but a couple of weeks ago we got in contact via a social networking site. We've really hit it off, although we appreciate this a time of transition for her, finishing college, etc. I'm a bit more settled, live away from home, have a full time job, and have a more definite direction in what i want to do i.e. join the military. Which, incidentally, is her aim too, and for various reasons, we'll probably be joining at about the same time. What I'm looking for is advice on dating someone significantly younger, and how this might be taken socially. Any discussion greatly appreciated.
2007-11-28 14:55:42 · 21 answers · asked by AdvicePlease 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By the way, she's nearly 18, and we're in the UK, where age of consent is 16, not that it is a basis for our relationship
2007-11-28 15:05:21 · update #1
I have friends with an 11 year gap. They are happily married with 1 daughter and another child on the way.
18 and 23 isn't a big gap. Socially or otherwise noone will bat an eyelid. Treat her well and you will just be a nice couple.
Just respect that she will have issues for a few years that you have already dealt with, be supportive of her, and it should all be ok.
Good luck.
PS. Ewwww isnt a constructive answer people.
2007-11-28 15:15:06 · answer #1 · answered by Telf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not so much of a "social" concern. But your answer is really in your question. "this is a time of transition for her.." & "I'm a bit more settled..." The difference between 35 & 40 is not such so bad. But the difference between 17 & 23 is huge for obvious reasons. My advice is to let her go for now... truly, what is it you see in her? I am sure she is lovely but, this seems to be a recipe for disaster. In addition the age difference borders on illegal. While I agree it is possible to have a wonderful relationship...it's not a good idea for either of you right now! Move on, get involved in your own age groups & if/when the time is right & the both of you are still interested then heck. GO FOR IT! For now cool out :)
2007-11-28 15:01:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you're a little overly concerned about being socially accepted. In your case especially, you're actually about "perfect." It's common belief that women are on average about five years socially advanced than men especially in the younger years. Take your time, let the relationship build (wait til she's 18 if you know what I mean) and enjoy each other. Good luck!
2007-11-28 15:14:29 · answer #3 · answered by JD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, everyone is freaking out so easily. wait until she's 18..then most things will be fine. its just a 6 year age difference right? that's not a huge difference when you are like, 30 and she is 24..again, not a big deal.
socially, it can be unacceptable but if you hit it off and you are made to be together, than people will and can learn to accept something like that. if its just a thing like, "hes just with a younger girl to take advantage.." thats different.
dont worry too much about what other people think. make sure you are not taking advantage though due to the fact that she is not as mature as someone your age should be.
2007-11-28 15:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by sucrecouer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are people out there who are 10-20 years apart. If you feel that the both of you are okay with your age gap and you guys are hapyp together, go for it. Age doesn't affect love. Maybe you can wait till she's 18 before making a move. That way, both of you are adults and it will be okay that way.
2007-11-28 15:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by chrysanthemum11220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the right person for this...because I'm 16 (turning 17 in a week) and i was seeing someone who is 23...turning 24 in February. We were having sex and stuff for a while and dating even though it was unofficial..he eventually moved away to get a good job...we talk everyday on the phone but its really hard because hes coming back here for Christmas for a week...and then he's leaving. its hard because were in two different worlds right now and he's getting to the point where he's settling down and I'm just getting started. hes done all his partying and I'm at my peak right now. I'm still in high school for **** sakes. Im going to have to tell him it's not working though because i found someone my own age that lives near me..i hope this helps in one way or another? because i can relate to you.
2007-11-28 15:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm 17, and my boyfriend is 24. I don't think age matters whatsoever. It's just a number. If your feelings are strong enough for her to where you won't care what other people think, then there's nothing wrong. I haven't gotten any criticism at all for dating a guy 6 years older than me. I think that if you think it is right and she is the one you should be dating, then go for it.
2007-11-28 15:13:28 · answer #7 · answered by wishing4it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't that much of a difference - I wouldn't worry about it. don't sleep together until she hits 18 though. In 50 years no one will care that she is 50 and you are 55. It isn't significant
2007-11-28 14:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by Shelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 18 when I started dating a guy that was 25. As long as you are both happy with your age difference, what does it matter?
As long as you don't look ridiculously old and her young, doesn't matter.
2007-11-28 20:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by DizzyBiiaatch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey man thats cool i guess just go out wit her if ya love echother what diffrence does it make how old ya are. humanity tends to be restricted by their own preseptions of whats right and wong. in the eyes of others your a ped but who cares what they think.
dont tell mom. lol
2007-11-28 15:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋