How long should taking a break in a relationship be?

Question

We have been dating for 2 years. We have always been fighters and then lovers, but I just can't take the fighting anymore. I don't know if we should break up or not. Our good times are really great, I'm pretty sure we will be albe to remain friends, in a year and a half I'll be traveling around the world, and a long distance relationship does not sound appealing. Thus, I'm wondering if a break might do us good now, maybe strengthen us maybe not, but I don't have any experience in taking a break during the relationship. 1 day, 2 days, few weeks??? Any advice is appreciated.

Answer 1

well, in my experience I've learned that if you truly care for that person then you will break for as long as it takes to fix your relationship.but in your situation i believe that you should just do you for the time being.you are about to travel and from what I've read you two argue too much to maintain a healthily long distance relationship.

Answer 2

Depends on what you mean by a break. If you mean not dating each other and dating other people instead, yeah, you probably should just break up and check in later if you miss each other.

If you just have been fighting a lot lately and need a breather from seeing each other every day, then do that. You get to make your own rules. If you really want to get distance, then one day isn't going to cut it. You could start by going a week without seeing each other (like, on a date... class and work situations are exempt). Make contact rules. Will you call/email once a day? Whenever? Never? It would probably be very healthy to take a little breather. Use it as an opportunity to pay attention to relationships or hobbies you may have been neglecting. Just be sure you pay attention to how it makes you feel.

Good luck.

Answer 3

As many days or weeks for you to realize what you want or don't want. To see if you can't live with out your your other half. However long it takes to see if taking a break will make or brake you.

My boyfriend of 2 years wanted a break as well, it lasted 1 day because for that 1 day, he said he couldn't get his mind off of me and he couldn't imagine not having me in his life. I guess he was thinking about breaking up with me and wanted to see how it would feel. That hurt so much, but the fact that he admitted he was wrong was the thing that allowed me to accept his apology. Things with is have been really good now.

It would be different for everyone. It sounds like you want to end the relationship though. We have a fighters and the lovers kind of relationship as well. I get sick of the fighting, so I know how you feel. But I'm in love, and I can't let that go.

Answer 4

Fighting is hard, but it's only temporary. Don't worry yourself over it or it may consume you to the point where it affects your relationship.

Ask yourself, are you REALLY (very) happy with this person when you aren't fighting? Do you deeply cherish the happy times, or is that person just somebody you hang out with? When you say "I love you," do you mean it? And when that person says it to you, what do you feel?

I'm in the middle of my first relationship, and my girlfriend lives 650 miles away. I see her only once per month and a half. Long distance relationships sound and look very difficult, and they are at first, but you really adjust quickly to being happy just hearing the other's voice on the phone every day. It even has benefits: we aren't hanging out every second, so we rarely get sick of each other. We have had many fights in the 5 months we've been "going out," but over all, we're happy and don't want to lose each other. Ironically, I think it's the seperation that's keeping us together.

So, all that said, just take a break for as long as it takes for you to miss your significant other. When you miss the person, call him/her and ask how he/she feels. If you both miss eachother, I can garuntee that you'd both feel the deep love you once used to. It'll be like a new beginning

Good Luck!
-Joe

Answer 5

The idea of taking a break is to end the limits imposed by relationships. Deciding on a break-duration figure would be self-defeating. The idea is to take a break to sort out your thoughts and emotions. It is not good or bad. It could be the end. It could be new beginning. But that is what the break is for. Your guess is as good as anyone's: 1 day, 2 days, few weeks, forever.

Answer 6

You will find out sooner or later. If you can't take the fighting anymore you will make the descision if you want to deal with it anymore. Taking a break is good sometimes because it will help you to realize if you are better without that person or not. If you really want to be with them you will figure it out. Be patient.

Answer 7

as much time as is needed for both of you to sort things out.. If the fighting is too much then take a little while and both of you think about ways to resolve all the fighting.. If some of it is past stuff you guys should probably sit down and make a list of all the things the other does that makes you mad.. or reasons you are mad at them.. And talk everything out.. But it will take time and effort..

Answer 8

From personal experience... taking a break is total BS. Might as well break up.
My ex asked for a break, two days after the break, while reading his AIM info, I found out he was dating someone! And it said that stupid thing "whatever date we started going out/2004 - FOREVER *heart heart heart*" They started going out the same day he asked for a break.

Breaks are pointless. If you feel you can't stand being around that person, then just stay away.

Answer 9

However long it takes for you to be able to look at another man/woman and NOT think of your ex. You're not reminded of him/her, and you're not comparing anyone else to him/her.

Any less time than that, and you're doing a disservice to yourself, anyone else you attempt to date, and your ex.

But if you're thinking of taking a break then getting back together, you might as well just end it completely. I've never seen it work the way you are suggesting.

Answer 10

That's a hard question. It depends if y'all still talk to each other while on this "break". Personally I hate "breaks". You might as well break up. If your going away then yes break up, maybe when you return you can rekindle the flame.